At a complete loss

FrostedLight

This is going to be quite a lengthy post, so thank you if you read it.

I've gained weight. A lot of weight. I have to take hydrocortisone for an adrenal condition, which already makes it hard to manage my weight and then I started taking Gabapentin to prevent migraines. Either through increased eating or by changing my metabolism, I went from approximately 58-61kg at 155cm tall to around 73kg. You can imagine how much that shows on someone so short. I was very unhappy so in January of this year, I went to a dietician who gave me a plan to follow, focusing on fruits and vegetables and limiting my carbs and trying to move more. She said that if I followed the plan I would manage to lose quite a bit of weight, but I only managed to lose 1kg.

Then the Gabapentin stopped helping my migraines and I was miserable with the amount of weight that I had gained. So, I had to go back to the doctor, who swapped me onto amitriptyline (it has an off label use for migraine prevention) . I raised my concerns about the potential weight gain as I have gained weight while taking antidepressants before. He said that I would not gain weight. But here I am, 2 months since starting amitriptyline and I think my weight is nearing 80kg now. I'm terrified to weigh myself, most of my clothes don't fit, I'm sluggish and miserable and I absolutely hate how I look. Like, looking at my body in the mirror makes me want to cry and I'm basically living in baggy shirts. I've been actively avoiding seeing people when I go home from university because of how much weight I have gained. I don't like people seeing me when I'm this weight.

To make matters worse, I also have tachycardia as a side effect from amitriptyline, so my heart races even when I'm sitting down, so I've been scared to exercise because it just feels so awful to have such a fast heart rate.
It's also important to mention that I used to suffer from EDNOS, meaning that my weight has fluctuated quite a bit (I've gone from 60 to 55 to 65 to 52 and back up to 65 and then down to 58ish kg and now I'm here) and I still find myself hating how I look when I'm over a particular weight. Being that I'm almost at 80kg, I am feeling absolutely awful.

I'm going to see the doctor again later this month and ask to be taken off amitriptyline, because I can't cope with the insane weight gain and constant sugar/carb cravings and not being able to exercise. But I don't even know how to start losing this amount of weight...I've never been so heavy in my life. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and I really want to make sure that I lose weight in a healthy way this time but I keep catching myself thinking that I can "just restrict my calories and work out a ton and that will be the best way" and logically I know that's not the best way, but given that I feel absolutely disgusting right now I don't know how well I'll be able to convince myself to be kind to my body and do it gradually....

Does anyone have any advice for how to start getting back into fitness again after gaining so much weight? Any tips about how to diet healthily would be appreciated too, I'm just at a complete and utter loss and I feel disgusting right now.

cmriverside

I used to get migraines and treating them is a struggle, so hugs.

I got off all my meds in my early fifties and that's been such a blessing to me. I swear I won't take any more meds unless someone forces them into my mouth.

With that said, I don't know how much help I'll be since I went off a whole cocktail of drugs and I went off them all against medical advice (except levothyroxine.) I had gone through menopause and my migraines were less frequent, so I was able to manage them with episodic Maxalt.

Best thing I ever did.

I know you may not be ready or able to do that, but it was what I had to do to regain my life and my weight.

Keep searching for answers. That was mine.

Kathryn247

Hi! I don't have any experience with migraine medication, but my height and weight stats were similar to your when I started here. I'm an inch or two taller but was about 5 pounds heavier, and I've lost about 50 pounds.
Do you still have a treatment team for your EDNOS? Since your eating is really stressing you out, it might be time to see them for some help.
You don't have to exercise to lose weight. If you want to exercise, maybe just start out walking, it will be good for you mentally and physically.

Terytha

For starters, you don't need to exercise to lose weight. You'll want to eventually find something that works for you, for a variety of health reasons, but I think maybe you can just focus on your weight for now, since that's making you the most unhappy. Figure out an exercise plan with your doctor when you're ready, one that won't put you at risk.

You're right that restricting your calories is the way to go, because weight loss is basically just a calorie equation. In your shoes, I'd probably combine the diet you were given by the dietician with some calorie counting. It's very possible to overeat fruits and veggies. And while that diet was good for you from a nutritional standpoint, maybe you were still consuming a bit too much.

Just don't restrict too much, bad stuff happens. Use something like MFP as a guideline and stick to a number, see what happens for a few weeks. Then adjust if you need to. The starting point is a single decision to start. That's the easy part. Patience is the hard part. You're gonna need to accept that this will take time. Not days or weeks, but months or years.

And work on acceptance. It's not perfect but it's the only body you have. Fat or thin, that body allows you to go out and experience the world. Every good thing that's ever happened, happened because you have that body to do stuff with. You're doing your best. It's ok to love yourself.

BuiltLikeAPeep

Have you tried Topamax? It is a seizure drug that has an off label use for migraines. Also, one of the side effects is weight loss. My daughter used it for a year without complications and without any changes to diet or exercise, she lost 35 pounds that year. I'm not sure if it's right for you (I'm not a nurse or doctor) but you should talk to your doctor. You didn't mention the type of doctor you're seeing, but I recommend seeing a neurologist for the migraines. Best of luck to you!

FrostedLight

Kathryn247 wrote: »

Hi! I don't have any experience with migraine medication, but my height and weight stats were similar to your when I started here. I'm an inch or two taller but was about 5 pounds heavier, and I've lost about 50 pounds.
Do you still have a treatment team for your EDNOS? Since your eating is really stressing you out, it might be time to see them for some help.
You don't have to exercise to lose weight. If you want to exercise, maybe just start out walking, it will be good for you mentally and physically.

Unfortunately I don't have a treatment team, but I'm thinking of going back to speak to the dietician because I'm really struggling with my relationship with food. That's true, walking is nice. Thank you for your suggestion. 😊

FrostedLight

Terytha wrote: »

For starters, you don't need to exercise to lose weight. You'll want to eventually find something that works for you, for a variety of health reasons, but I think maybe you can just focus on your weight for now, since that's making you the most unhappy. Figure out an exercise plan with your doctor when you're ready, one that won't put you at risk.

You're right that restricting your calories is the way to go, because weight loss is basically just a calorie equation. In your shoes, I'd probably combine the diet you were given by the dietician with some calorie counting. It's very possible to overeat fruits and veggies. And while that diet was good for you from a nutritional standpoint, maybe you were still consuming a bit too much.

Just don't restrict too much, bad stuff happens. Use something like MFP as a guideline and stick to a number, see what happens for a few weeks. Then adjust if you need to. The starting point is a single decision to start. That's the easy part. Patience is the hard part. You're gonna need to accept that this will take time. Not days or weeks, but months or years.

And work on acceptance. It's not perfect but it's the only body you have. Fat or thin, that body allows you to go out and experience the world. Every good thing that's ever happened, happened because you have that body to do stuff with. You're doing your best. It's ok to love yourself.

Thank you, there are definitely some doable things there. I appreciate the support

FrostedLight

BuiltLikeAPeep wrote: »

Have you tried Topamax? It is a seizure drug that has an off label use for migraines. Also, one of the side effects is weight loss. My daughter used it for a year without complications and without any changes to diet or exercise, she lost 35 pounds that year. I'm not sure if it's right for you (I'm not a nurse or doctor) but you should talk to your doctor. You didn't mention the type of doctor you're seeing, but I recommend seeing a neurologist for the migraines. Best of luck to you!

I've been asked if I've wanted to try Topamax, but one of my close friends is on it and she's had a horrible time. Also the potential side effects are really scary, so unless the benefits would outweigh the risks I don't think I would take it 😅 even though weight loss is a side effect...
Thank you though 😊

ginnytez

Waling is my major exercise, and it now has me to the point of thinking of trying other things. But I can always find a place to walk. Good luck with migraines-I hear they can be debilitating.

jljshoe1979

Hi. I'm sorry. I don't have a lot of advice. I just wanted to encourage you and say good luck. I do hope you find some things that work. I will also send you a friend request - maybe we can encourage each other. 😊💜

Marg672

Topamax helped reduce my migraines. I also got my daith pierced. I still get the occasional migraine but I can usually know my auras before and I can medicate myself so it's not horrid.

emmamcgarity

I have struggled with migraines for many years. Menopause was extremely helpful in reducing the frequency. But I’m sure you’re years away from that, and it doesn’t help everyone. The biggest thing that helped me with migraine prevention is when I took the time to keep a thorough diary of my food, sleep, menstrual cycle, and symptoms over the course of several months. Looking at the data after a few months made it much easier for me to see the triggers. Some food triggers were only triggers during my cycle (I.e. chocolate). Changes in my sleep schedule were a major trigger. What helped me the most after looking at the data was keeping a rigid schedule. Waking up and going to sleep at the same time daily. Staying away from trigger foods during my cycle. Even walking for 30 minutes a day helped my mental health. Migraines are debilitating. They disrupt your regular routine and make a major impact on your quality of life. If you’re not happy with your current treatment, definitely speak up to your doctor. Imitrex was a game changer for my quality of life. Knowing I can use an abortive medicine when suffering from a migraine helps me live my life.

Weight loss is mostly diet. Taje the time to lose slowly as I have found major abrupt changes in diet can also trigger migraines for me... sigh. Small changes over time add up.

jo_nz

I get migraines too, and they can be such a drain. At my worst I was getting them about 50% of the days! It made it so hard to get on with life when I was either experiencing one, recovering from one, or expecting the next one to hit. And the day after I would crave salty foods SO MUCH. Was not a good time for my weight either.

I take amitriptyline too, as well as a beta blocker for prevention, and still get the odd one which I manage with rizamelt tablets.

Anyway, sounds like another chat with your doctor would be a good thing.
Have you worked out any triggers for your migraines?
Mine are more likely to be at certain time in my menstrual cycle, but also affected by sleep, stress, alcohol and food (I am finding cutting calories too aggressively makes them worse/more frequent).

Have you started logging your food on here?? I found it helpful to start by just logging everything for a few days or so. Then I had a starting point and reduced slowly - logging everything showed me a few things I was "wasting" my calories on and could easily cut, and then I moved on to other small changed over time.

Good luck!

FrostedLight

jo_nz wrote: »

I get migraines too, and they can be such a drain. At my worst I was getting them about 50% of the days! It made it so hard to get on with life when I was either experiencing one, recovering from one, or expecting the next one to hit. And the day after I would crave salty foods SO MUCH. Was not a good time for my weight either.

I take amitriptyline too, as well as a beta blocker for prevention, and still get the odd one which I manage with rizamelt tablets.

Anyway, sounds like another chat with your doctor would be a good thing.
Have you worked out any triggers for your migraines?
Mine are more likely to be at certain time in my menstrual cycle, but also affected by sleep, stress, alcohol and food (I am finding cutting calories too aggressively makes them worse/more frequent).

Have you started logging your food on here?? I found it helpful to start by just logging everything for a few days or so. Then I had a starting point and reduced slowly - logging everything showed me a few things I was "wasting" my calories on and could easily cut, and then I moved on to other small changed over time.

Good luck!

Thanks for replying. My triggers are pretty similar to yours, but flashing lights, dehydration and strong smells also set me off. I've been logging on and off but I guess because I just keep gaining weight I've been put off... I need to get out of that mindset and start logging again.

FrostedLight

Marg672 wrote: »

Topamax helped reduce my migraines. I also got my daith pierced. I still get the occasional migraine but I can usually know my auras before and I can medicate myself so it's not horrid.

I'm glad it worked for you! I also have my daith pierced, but I don't think it's made much of a difference unfortunately. Did you get yours pierced on the side that you primarily get migraines on?

FrostedLight

jljshoe1979 wrote: »

Hi. I'm sorry. I don't have a lot of advice. I just wanted to encourage you and say good luck. I do hope you find some things that work. I will also send you a friend request - maybe we can encourage each other. 😊💜

That's much appreciated, thank you 😊