Self Judgement

skuhns92

My boyfriend and I did our one month weigh-ins yesterday. I am absolutely crushed. I worked so hard at eating a lower calorie diet, low sugar, gym 3-4 times a week. After all of that, I gained 5 pounds. He lost 11pounds by cutting out Mtn Dew as his main drink. I know as a diabetic my medications hinder weight loss but I never expected them to make me gain weight after getting my bad habits under control. I don't know what to change in order to start seeing the scale move in the other direction. I am having a hard mental time after that weigh-in.

Lillymoo01

Are you logging how many calories you are consuming and burning? Exercising and eating the 'right' food will not contribute to weight loss unless you are burning more calories than you are eating. If you are not paying attention to how much food you are actually eating it is easy to eat more when you start exercising more.

This thread is a great read to help you get started in the right direction.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

tinkerbellang83

In addition to above if the gym workouts are new to you then you may be retaining water.

Quasita

Are you weighing yourself at the same time of month as last month? Do you have a regular menstrual cycle? Depending on where you're at with that, it can account for a skew in the numbers. There's also merit to the idea that you weigh at the same time of day, preferably after morning bathroom business but before breakfast, naked, at the same time of month. If you can tick off each one of those as a yes, then I would start looking at other things... Yes, a food scale is important, as is considering the potential of physical activity rendering changes that produce water retention. However, I would start looking at it like this...

Comparing yourself to your boyfriend is going to be a problem off the bat and a hotbed for resentment if you're not careful. Men and women's bodies react differently; you should compare you, the whole you, to who you were a month ago, and it's not just about the numbers.

The changes you've described are not relative.
Your boyfriend enacted a weight loss plan of cutting out a high sugared food that I'm guessing he drank daily prior to this. If all other things stayed the same and he just cut Mountain Dew and replaced with water, he took his normal daily calorie intake down by at least 600 calories. 600x7= 4200 calories a week cut, coming out to a little over a pound a week.
You could have done the same thing, if that's what you were going for. However, your changes are more what I would call a healthy lifestyle change. You're not focused on weight loss alone... While that might be your primary goal, your actions are not exclusively about weight loss. The saying is, with varying numbers, 80% diet, 20% exercise. So if it was just about losing weight, your focus would be on diet changes first. However, you've also enacted a gym habit of 3-4 days a week, which is an increase of your burn by probably what, 800+ calories a week? If you were sedentary before, this is a massive change and your body is most definitely going to retain water... I would argue that it's even more likely if you're not balancing your calorie cut and your workouts.

That is, if you're using a calorie cut like classic MFP, you've got your weight loss portion covered. Adding exercise onto that total means you should be eating more on the days you work out. Are you? Why or why not? There are different camps for how to work the calorie balance out effectively, but if you dropped your diet by 1000 calories a day, that's plenty enough to spur on 2lbs/week... and if that cut has you down around that 1200 mark, you have to be a bit careful about how far down you dip, especially being diabetic.

I don't think diabetic medications are going to be inclined to cause sudden weight gain unless you just started taking something new, and even then, that's iffy. Most diabetes medications would come with a sudden weight loss concern; possibly a difficult with weight loss in general with medications like Metformin because they work for regulating sugars, and in ways, loss requires your sugars to get low/insulin to spike high. That's why weight loss is a sign of diabetic onset... The body goes into super-insulin creation as the illness gets going. However, if you're certain that a new medication has caused weight gain of that amount of the last month despite doing "all the right things" I would suggest talking to your physician.

So blah blah I know, I talk a lot. My point mostly is that we have to make sure we are making the right comparisons at the right times. It's highly likely that your boyfriend will always have an easier time losing actual weight than you will, males are notorious in that way. If you know you are judging yourself, then it's time to give yourself permission to... well, not. That judgment is a choice. You can either look at the scale and say, all those beautiful, healthy things I've done for myself mean jack because I gained 5lbs... or you can look at yourself and say, I am so proud of myself for keeping up my new gym habit and sticking to a diet my endocrinologist would love! I'm not going to worry about those 5lbs because for all I know, I just haven't pooped recently enough. I'm not going to worry about it until I know something is really wrong.

It's not to say that a small gain can't be something wrong... but I mean, what indications do you have that there IS something wrong other than the number under your feet? How do you feel? Have you made progress in your gym routines? Sleeping better? What about your sugars? Try to think about the intangibles... because while the scale victories are nice, the no scale victories are the ones that save a life.

Phirrgus

skuhns92 wrote: »

My boyfriend and I did our one month weigh-ins yesterday. I am absolutely crushed. I worked so hard at eating a lower calorie diet, low sugar, gym 3-4 times a week. After all of that, I gained 5 pounds. He lost 11pounds by cutting out Mtn Dew as his main drink. I know as a diabetic my medications hinder weight loss but I never expected them to make me gain weight after getting my bad habits under control. I don't know what to change in order to start seeing the scale move in the other direction. I am having a hard mental time after that weigh-in.

A question first. If you had a dear friend who gained 5 pounds would you beat her up and demean her for it? Of course not, so why do it to yourself?

5lbs is not much, I fluctuate that much day by day sometimes. Take a deep breath, remember that weight loss is not linear. You'll gain and lose daily. Re-check your food weights, measurements and logging, allow yourself a little lee-way for human error and put one foot in front of the other. And be kind to yourself. That mental self torture will only hinder you further.

You'll get there.

Justin_7272

OP; start weighing yourself daily. Some days you'll weigh more, some less. As long as you're trending down, you're fine. This will prevent the huge highs or lows of monthly weigh ins (physically and emotionally).

Stop comparing yourself to your boyfriend, please. Your situation is not his. If someone comments on his weight loss, good for him. Don't hold this against yourself, or against him.

Count your calories, weigh daily, and stay focused on you.

smoofinator

You might want to switch to more frequent weigh-ins, as @Justin_7272 suggested. Weight loss is not linear, so using a trend app like Libra will create a better overall picture of how your weight loss is going. Some days you'll weigh more, some days less - sometimes by a difference of 5 lbs! Looking at your trend overtime will show you your progress overall and help to alleviate negative feelings on those sucky days when your scale gives you some BS (because of water retention, waste in your digestive tract, etc.)