I swore I would never be in this position... but I'm starting over.

HungryTraveler
HungryTraveler Posts: 39 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Regain, it's real and it's a b****!

In 2015/2016 I lost almost 30kgs. I educated myself and did it the healthy way, the slow way. I counted calories and went for daily walks, I never starved myself and never denied myself. I read every bit of information on this wonderful site and followed the advice of the more experienced members.
And it worked. After struggling with my weight for most of my adult life I found the right mindset and motivation and just... did it. In hindsight I almost found it easy, because I was so motivated.

I have lost that motivation. And I have gained 20kgs of the 30 I lost.

I am struggling with finding my motivation and drive again. I am kicking myself that I let myself gain weight. I feel unattractive and a failure. I am trying not to beat myself up, because I have been so very unkind to myself in my 20s and I don't want to do that anymore.
Now in my 30s, I want to love myself. And I know how, all the knowledge is there! It's just... not happening. I know what I need to do and I just cannot seem to make myself do it. I know it's all in my head, but I'm struggling and I need support.

I have a cupboard full of lovely size 8 and 10 dresses staring me down, please help me find my mojo again!

Replies

  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    Losing weight is a slow and sometimes painful process. What worked for me was going slow until each new change became a habit. That has helped me to maintain but honestly maintenance is harder in some ways that losing. Don't beat yourself up. I was almost 60 years old before I got it right, lol.

    Someone on here recommended a book that I found insightful and I would recommend giving it a read. It's called the Dr. Beck Diet Solution by Judith S. Beck. She lost weight herself and teaches cognitive therapy. The idea is to work on how you think to enable you to stick with it. She offers a diet in the book but I didn't bother with that I just wanted to change my thinking. There were some good ideas in there that helped me to get a handle on some of my issues.

    Good luck.
  • lafayettenana
    lafayettenana Posts: 79 Member
    You are not alone. My own story is similar to yours though I'm older (64). For two years I took a slow and steady approach first just tracking calories and fitbit steps and the calorie calculations. My goal was that everyday I would burn up more calories than I ate. I lost about 15 pounds over 18 months then plateaued. I joined weight watchers and lost another 10 pounds. Then I just got tired of always being in a calorie deficit lifestyle and shifted to living in a maintenance lifestyle. That worked until I just got tired of tracking what I was eating (and drinking). Well I gained back about 15 pounds (we're retired and everyday is a weekend night!). I' m back tracking on MFP and joined a few supportive groups to keep me motivated. I pretrack what I'll eat every day, I've done some self hypnosis on changing subconscious habits and read a book on Changing Habits for Good. I stopped smoking years ago and I love to exercise so I know I can adopt lifestyle habits that don't require much effort. Good luck. You can do this!
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
    You are not starting over. You know so much more now than you did the last time, so you have a HUGE advantage. You already know you can do this.

    Start with one thing - log your food. Just start logging and aiming for that calorie goal with no other rules or requirements. Get back in that habit, and then add another and repeat.

    I have found that continuing to log casually is pretty much the only thing that keeps me from gaining the weight back. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I might skip a day here or there, but logging keeps me mindful. And when I see the scale drift up over my maintenance range, I go back into a small deficit with careful logging for a few weeks until the ship is righted. :drinker:
  • AustinRuadhain
    AustinRuadhain Posts: 2,573 Member
    Hang in there!

    One challenge may be that you remember what is was like to be in the groove, but you aren't there now. The good news is that you can get there! You might check out what James Clear has to say about motivation. He's not a rah-rah guy, but I have found his ideas super useful:
    Article (very complete): https://jamesclear.com/motivation
    Video (GREAT pace to start):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_nzqnXWvSo

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