Self Control Issues
donaldstokley
Posts: 18 Member
I need to get in a better mind set. For some reason I get it in my head that if I eat one bad thing that the day is for nothing and just go ahead and eat what ever I want instead of just eating the one bad thing and continue with my healthier plan for the day. I feel like my will power really needs help. I really do feel like a drug addict that can't even think about food without wanting to go binge eat everything in sight. If any one has any pointers for me on how I can work with the way I think about food that would be great and appreciated.
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I know how you feel. I have food addiction patterns also that I’m working on. I’ll do great for a week maybe two then I have a binge moment.
Some things that have been helping me to have those moments less and less are to first drink an entire glass of water at that moment. That way I can kinda feel full and get through that moment of potential self sabotage. I also love those zero calorie flavored vita waters. They feel like a treat. I like to keep a pack of sugarless gum with me to give me the sensation of chewing. It just tricks my mind that I’m eating which can help me get through a tough moment.
Another thing I do is just to keep myself busy. If I find myself watching TV during down time and just wanting to grab a snack to mindlessly eat before my next planned meal, i’ll turn the TV off get up throw my headphones on with some music and just start doing stuff around the house. Just something to keep your mind off of the food until the moment passes. Even getting up to go outside and check the mailbox or going upstairs to re-make a bed can take your mind off of it.
Just stay hydrated and keep drinking your water throughout the day and work in small healthy, fulfilling snacks that fit your calorie goal throughout your day. Set yourself up for success. Keep temptations out of the house If you can. I know it’s difficult when there’s other people that live in the house. Just make sure that you have your good foods and snacks stocked up in the house as well so you have good choices to make. It’s definitely a marathon not a sprint. It’ll take time to make changes. Good luck to you and your journey.18 -
I might get woo'd, but I am starting to become a believer in the food reward theory. Check out the human OS program and Stephan Guyenet for further info. No matter what SOME people say, you can't out work a hyper caloric diet. I mean, unless you are Michael Phelps. I would also offer a 2 cents piece of advice I wish I had heard when I start. Think about ideal weight vs goal weight. Find a place where you can maintain. It might not be the lowest weight you want, but one that let's you feel good and perform. Best of luck brother on this adventure. I dont say journey anymore. A journey ends. Adventures don't.17
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donaldstokley wrote: »I need to get in a better mind set. For some reason I get it in my head that if I eat one bad thing that the day is for nothing and just go ahead and eat what ever I want instead of just eating the one bad thing and continue with my healthier plan for the day. I feel like my will power really needs help. I really do feel like a drug addict that can't even think about food without wanting to go binge eat everything in sight. If any one has any pointers for me on how I can work with the way I think about food that would be great and appreciated.
The better mindset is that there is no bad food. When you need to eat a treat just eat it and try to stick within your calorie deficit because losing weight will make you healthier all by itself.
One of the very first rules I made for myself was that I would not stop eating anything that I was eating while I was gaining weight I would just moderate some of it.
It is more important that you find a way to make each day a fairly happy day and then make small changes to improve nutrition over time.12 -
It takes practice to move past all-or-nothing thinking.
Each moment is a new decision. You can't change past decisions. Don't borrow trouble by worrying over future decisions. All that you can control is what you decide to do right now.
Log everything before it goes into your mouth. That gives you the chance to decide if you really want to consume something and, if so, how much.
Sometimes you'll go off-plan and that's OK. Own it, think about why you did it and if you'd make a different choice next time, and then move on. It's not a failure but a learning experience.
Don't let others talk you into consuming things that you don't really want. "No" is a complete sentence. You don't have to explain or justify why you don't want what they are offering.
How much of a gap is there between "eat what ever I want" and "my healthier plan"? The weight loss phase is a great time to figure out an eating plan that will be comfortable for you once you reach your goal weight. If you try to change everything at the same time, you'll likely drift back to the way that you really like to eat. If you start from the way that you like to eat and make gradual changes to things like portion size and cooking methods, you'll build something that can work over the long term with less struggle.
Be patient. Be consistent. Be kind to yourself.20 -
Keeping busy/hobbies, exercise and logging & weighing EVERYTHING definitely help me! As soon as I stop,it’s only a matter of time before I g back to my bad habits of eating everything g I want. It’s not easy,but it can be done!!3
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We all struggle with it theirs the hangry days, binge regret days, good days. If I eat something I shouldn’t I add it to my calories tell myself I’ll just walk more,eat more lettuce without dressing,y cut myself a break. Took 2 years to get this mind set. I also allow myself to put food in a Tupperware if I feel full hard since most got brought up to clean your plate. I find myself saying well I’ll do better tomorrow I write it down a few times so I see it . Helps a lot. I keep trying to learn everything I can. Got the serving size is important thing down along with calories.7- 11chips is a serving I used to down a bag. Figure if I eat something I shouldn’t time to steam some 100calorie fish with no salt green beans 15-25calories or eat zucchini noodles 33calories per serving filling I use a $5 Walmart hand held noodle maker add a tsp-tablespoon sauce mix well to coat. Salad I skip dressing add tomato or cucumber or cooked spinach leaves so it’s moist.
Do your best don’t give up got faith in ya2 -
You might like the book The Beck Diet Solution.
Besides that, I also used to have the tendency to decide if a day was imperfect it was a write-off and then eat way too much until I decided I was starting again. That way of thinking is really illogical if you think about it (realizing this was helpful to me), and the whole dichotomy of bad, off limits foods and okay foods was unhelpful for me and encouraged this kind of behavior.
What helped me, along with logging, was journaling. I'd have some goals for the day and week, along with longer term goals (the longer term ones were about realistic lost goals, which helped me with longer term visualization if I was tempted to say one day won't matter, and were for things other than weight loss, like a half marathon I was training for or the like).
At the end of each day, and sometimes during if I was struggling with temptation, I'd write how I did and what went well and where I had problems, and try to understand why I'd not met my goals if I hadn't. I'd also use this to treat a screw up (went out to dinner and ate way more than intended or forgot to bring lunch and chose to buy something that turned out to be more cals than expected) as a learning experience, and not something that meant I was off my diet (or a reason to feel shame or beat myself up). For me, this helped me become a lot more matter of fact and rational in my approach to food, which really gave it less power over me, and helped a ton with my tendencies toward emotional eating.
Also, if I found myself wanting something, I'd write about how I was going to fit it into my plan within the next few days or plan how I could get the tastes I wanted within my plan -- channeling my interest into food into something help, recipe creation and meal planning.8 -
JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »We all struggle with it theirs the hangry days, binge regret days, good days. If I eat something I shouldn’t I add it to my calories tell myself I’ll just walk more,eat more lettuce without dressing,y cut myself a break. Took 2 years to get this mind set. I also allow myself to put food in a Tupperware if I feel full hard since most got brought up to clean your plate. I find myself saying well I’ll do better tomorrow I write it down a few times so I see it . Helps a lot. I keep trying to learn everything I can. Got the serving size is important thing down along with calories.7- 11chips is a serving I used to down a bag. Figure if I eat something I shouldn’t time to steam some 100calorie fish with no salt green beans 15-25calories or eat zucchini noodles 33calories per serving filling I use a $5 Walmart hand held noodle maker add a tsp-tablespoon sauce mix well to coat. Salad I skip dressing add tomato or cucumber or cooked spinach leaves so it’s moist.
Do your best don’t give up got faith in ya
This makes me sad to read. It sounds like you are paying back a treat with bland food you don't really enjoy.12 -
While I would love to say I've learned how to control my bingeing, I really haven't. I HAVE to restrict my food, because I have some triggers that once I start, I can't seem to stop. More power to the people that say "They eat everything they ate before, just less of it." Personally, that doesn't work for me. If I could do that, I would never have become over weight in the first place. But like someone else mentioned this is personal to you - only you know what works for you. Log everything, even try and log your day in advance, so that you can plan for that special treat and not feel like your whole day is shot. Or if you, you know, accidentally trip and fall into a big fat slice of cheesecake - you know exactly where that puts you for the day, and stop there. (and maybe tell yourself you need to get *X* more steps in, or minutes on the bike, or whatever your work out jam is.10
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Yes I am NovusDies yes I am.
I do love the zucchini noodles their my favorite wish their was a better pasta makers out there for this tho and sauce that wasn’t 100+ calories for a few spoonfuls! I got the best out there according to everyone the hand held clogs less. On the fish I pour pepper up a storm for some flavor. Trying to keep my calories in check but not easy in 2yrs I have only lost 20lbs so starting this app to figure out how to do better...that’s when I discovered soaking my salads in dressing was not helping me at all. A lot of my foods were higher calories than I thought. I saw the calories on the bag didn’t know how many I needed or serving sizes meant. Since starting this app I finally get a bunch of this stuff more y more my Doctor suggested this. I’m increasing excersice too since I’m almost healed from having my 2yr old...placental abruption from Hell. Any ideas love to hear them especially any that can help Don out.
Also learned my handful of Tuny M&Ms was equal to a big fish!
I’m a Brunch eater
Then Dinner
Then a 8pm meal or snack or nothing.
I was a huge British Tea drinker got myself down to 0-4oz per meal with a tall water y cut out tea time until 8pm.4 -
JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »Yes I am NovusDies yes I am.
I do love the zucchini noodles their my favorite wish their was a better pasta makers out there for this tho and sauce that wasn’t 100+ calories for a few spoonfuls! I got the best out there according to everyone the hand held clogs less. On the fish I pour pepper up a storm for some flavor. Trying to keep my calories in check but not easy in 2yrs I have only lost 20lbs so starting this app to figure out how to do better...that’s when I discovered soaking my salads in dressing was not helping me at all. A lot of my foods were higher calories than I thought. I saw the calories on the bag didn’t know how many I needed or serving sizes meant. Since starting this app I finally get a bunch of this stuff more y more my Doctor suggested this. I’m increasing excersice too since I’m almost healed from having my 2yr old...placental abruption from Hell. Any ideas love to hear them especially any that can help Don out.
Also learned my handful of Tuny M&Ms was equal to a big fish!
I’m a Brunch eater
Then Dinner
Then a 8pm meal or snack or nothing.
I was a huge British Tea drinker got myself down to 0-4oz per meal with a tall water y cut out tea time until 8pm.
Do you have a medical reason to control your salt intake? For most people it is a non-issue. Does drinking tea "British" mean adding cream and sweetener to it?
What is your weight, age, height, and the activity level you entered into MFP? Also what did you select as a rate of loss?
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Sweetener too much sugar. Had hypertension during every pregnancy.Doctor warned I could develop it permanently to cut out salts as much as possible starting then on.
175lbs 5”4 old enough to not know what half of everyone saying on here. Got a 20 year old daughter been through Post menopause (going through it a 2nd time now) so old enough I like to not mention it anymore. Activity level I put low but I’m walking around the house for excersice y got a hyper 2yr old that wants mommy to follow him all over the house nonstop on top of housework.3 -
JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »Sweetener too much sugar. Had hypertension during every pregnancy.Doctor warned I could develop it permanently to cut out salts as much as possible starting then on.
175lbs 5”4 old enough to not know what half of everyone saying on here. Got a 20 year old daughter been through Post menopause (going through it a 2nd time now) so old enough I like to not mention it anymore. Activity level I put low but I’m walking around the house for excersice y got a hyper 2yr old that wants mommy to follow him all over the house nonstop on top of housework.
How much did you tell MFP that you wanted to lose each week?0 -
I lost over 240 pounds and have been maintaining that loss for about 1 1/2 years now. However, my weight has been like a roller coaster because I still struggle with binges. Up 5 pounds, down 5, over and over. I am caught in a restrict/binge cycle. I obsess about food. When I am restricting I constantly think about all the "bad" food I want to eat and when the binge happens I go crazy.
MFP has been a great tool and helped me lose all that weight. But it has also magnified my obsession. I pre-log a week in advance and it becomes a game to get within a few grams of my macro goals. To be perfect. When a binge begins I go "off-book" since I won't be perfect for that day which in my mind has been a green light to gorge.
I realized I needed to get my head straight as the last piece of the puzzle. So, I just started seeing a psychologist about my eating disorder (I don't technically have BED since my binges are not frequent enough). After my initial consultation a couple weeks ago, my first session was this past Wednesday. I am undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy and as part of that I was given homework. This week's assignments were to no longer eat anything in front of the TV and to work in a couple of unplanned "treats".
After only 2 evenings of not eating in front of the TV I can already feel a difference. My entire outlook has changed (I hope this isn't just a temporary thing). I tend to have modest meals and then have a bunch of calories for snacks that I will graze on every night. But now that I can't snack as I am watching TV I am losing interest in them. For me it has been odd to eat those snacks at the dining room table... who wants to eat a big bowl of popcorn in silence?
My snacking was a gateway to a binge I think. And without that habit I think I'll be able to prevent them from happening.
Also, my therapist feels I am depriving myself, hence the homework to work in a couple of unplanned treats. I haven't got to that yet but I know many here on the boards recommend working in treats and it makes sense.
Ultimately she wants me to stop logging on MFP since it has been fueling my obsession. I admitted to her that that scares the hell out of me. So, for now I will be taking some small steps from week to week. But I am finally feeling hopeful - that I can not be so obsessive about food, enjoy foods in moderation and to have a long and healthy life.21 -
MFP says 1200 which is tuff for me so I go over 1200-1400 but mainly average is 1300
Think I told it a pound hard to remember not sure where to look.0 -
donaldstokley wrote: »I need to get in a better mind set. For some reason I get it in my head that if I eat one bad thing that the day is for nothing and just go ahead and eat what ever I want instead of just eating the one bad thing and continue with my healthier plan for the day. I feel like my will power really needs help. I really do feel like a drug addict that can't even think about food without wanting to go binge eat everything in sight. If any one has any pointers for me on how I can work with the way I think about food that would be great and appreciated.
You're not alone. I dont have a solution unfortunately but I feel the same and have the same problem.
I have found what helps me, is to try to stay away from main starches and things made of them, so main starches being bread (grains) potato, pasta (grains again) rice, so that includes cake, biscuits, couscous, chips (UK chips) crisps, pizza (the worst thing I can eat), cereals including porridge. Luckily Im not mega keen on sweets and chocolate so I dont know if its a sugar thing as well.
I have no idea why but eating these foods, whether processed or not, causes me to crave more and more food of any kind. Just cant get full.
A few days without these and focusing on fat, settles it a bit. A few days more decreases my appetite enoough to be satisfied with the calories allowed in my profile.
However take now, I have just eaten my dinner. Perfectly full up. Not physically hungry. I dont need any more food and I will be going to bed in about 3 hours. But If a massive family sized pizza was put in front of me right now I would eat the whole thing, no stopping.3 -
@Kalex1975 .... your honesty is moving bro. N=1 here, I have noted with my "experiment" I have been doing. I no longer crave the "bad" foods. I now crave fruit, vegetables, eggs... ect. Slowly not getting as many hunger issues. I mean that could be the "bulking" talking. I guess you dont get frenzy or the low level of hunger CONSTANTLY. Though they have improved. Frenzy is not nearly as bad and the low level is not quite as high. You give me hope brother.8
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JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »We all struggle with it theirs the hangry days, binge regret days, good days. If I eat something I shouldn’t I add it to my calories tell myself I’ll just walk more,eat more lettuce without dressing,y cut myself a break. Took 2 years to get this mind set. I also allow myself to put food in a Tupperware if I feel full hard since most got brought up to clean your plate. I find myself saying well I’ll do better tomorrow I write it down a few times so I see it . Helps a lot. I keep trying to learn everything I can. Got the serving size is important thing down along with calories.7- 11chips is a serving I used to down a bag. Figure if I eat something I shouldn’t time to steam some 100calorie fish with no salt green beans 15-25calories or eat zucchini noodles 33calories per serving filling I use a $5 Walmart hand held noodle maker add a tsp-tablespoon sauce mix well to coat. Salad I skip dressing add tomato or cucumber or cooked spinach leaves so it’s moist.
Do your best don’t give up got faith in ya
This makes me sad to read. It sounds like you are paying back a treat with bland food you don't really enjoy.
I thought that as well, sounds quite punitive.
Im trying to get rid of that mindset, because it treats some foods as good or some as bad and also keeps on the 'punishment' of a certain food rather than just logging it and getting back within your calorie amount the next day1 -
Just to clarify we do not drink our tea with cream. That would be an abomination. And NEVER offer warm milk with a cuppa. Its cold milk.
Sugar optional.7 -
I totally relate to your post! I do something similar where I'll punish myself if I eat a little bite or two of something "bad" instead of letting myself get away with a little bit of it, and then I'll sometimes go too far and binge out on a lot of unhealthy options, which makes it nearly impossible to find the motivation to work out afterward. I find that doing very healthy things BEFORE I have those temptations makes it easier to stay good. Would you be able to track "triggers" or patterns in your urges? Is it always at a certain time of day, or in response to something else? We are complicated machines, but machines nonetheless. Sometimes we just need to find out where the bug is so that we can reset something. I hope this helps!4
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I have struggled with this for the past couple of years myself. I find that it is at its worst when I am 1.) not eating enough during the day, and 2.) I am bored. I am learning to discipline myself to eat more during the day and to find something else to do when I have the urge to eat just because I am bored.4
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I never knew any family members to add cream either. Wasn’t even offered at tea time. When my Mum was alive I used to make her mint tea biscuits with freash mint of course she loved them. Lol wasn’t the norm but I found the recipe thought she’d love them boy did she a whole tin would last a week. I used to get the sugar cubes but can’t find them anymore in the Texas,USA stores so having to use regular sugar .I felt the cubes were better. They don’t make anything I liked anymore or don’t carry it got to order everything on line these days! Cold milk never could have lactose intolerant so have to limit. I would just smell everyone else’s food lol.0
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psychod787 wrote: »@Kalex1975 .... your honesty is moving bro. N=1 here, I have noted with my "experiment" I have been doing. I no longer crave the "bad" foods. I now crave fruit, vegetables, eggs... ect. Slowly not getting as many hunger issues. I mean that could be the "bulking" talking. I guess you dont get frenzy or the low level of hunger CONSTANTLY. Though they have improved. Frenzy is not nearly as bad and the low level is not quite as high. You give me hope brother.
Thanks @psychod787 - sounds like you are finding your way. I never realized how difficult it would be once I got to maintenance!4 -
JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »I never knew any family members to add cream either. Wasn’t even offered at tea time. When my Mum was alive I used to make her mint tea biscuits with freash mint of course she loved them. Lol wasn’t the norm but I found the recipe thought she’d love them boy did she a whole tin would last a week. I used to get the sugar cubes but can’t find them anymore in the Texas,USA stores so having to use regular sugar .I felt the cubes were better. They don’t make anything I liked anymore or don’t carry it got to order everything on line these days! Cold milk never could have lactose intolerant so have to limit. I would just smell everyone else’s food lol.
You could try letting your grocer know that you'd like it if they carried sugar cubes. Or you could order them online. (The ubiquitous Amazon and Walmart.com both carry sugar cubes.)2 -
I had/have some of the same feelings (the "already blew it" effect), but at a fairly mild level.
For me, thinking through some of the analogies helped. If I left the house to go to work, and found my car had a flat tire, would I drive a nail in each of the other 3 tires? If I were 350 miles from home, took a wrong turn en route to my vacation destination, and ended up a few blocks off course, would I give up, turn around, and drive home?
So, if I ate more than I wish I had, during one meal out of the thousands (I hope) to come in the rest of my life, I'm going to decide everything is ruined, then decide to further sabotage my longer term goal?
Truly, it's what our "most of the time" habits are, that determines weight management, not "what we did that one (rare) time".
Like others, it also helped me to log the over-goal eating as soon as possible, so I could think about whether it was worth it (sometimes it was), and if it wasn't, so I could figure out some of the reasons and plan what I'd do in similar circumstances next time. Then let it go. Guilt and worry don't burn extra calories, and they feel bad. Reflect, revise your plans if necessary, then go on with life. Be kind to yourself. Food is not evil, and eating a bit extra is not sin. It requires no expiation. It's just food.
Also, I agree that a wholesale replacement of (so-called) "bad" eating with "healthy" eating is likelier to fail for some of us. I do better with a "gradual remodeling" approach to changing these habits, where I log my eating, look at the results, and gradually tweak things in manageable, small, permanently-sustainable, enjoyable steps toward eating in a way that better supports my health and energy level. Humans are very adaptable omnivores. We don't need to fix everything all at once.
If you have more profound or ingrained issues around food, then a bit of interaction with a professional (counselor, dietician, whatever helps) may be a good plan. If we need help with an exercise routine, we go to a personal trainer or physical therapist for help, right? Working on the psychological side is no different; there's no need to feel stigma.
Best wishes!13 -
Hubby thinks something wrong with me because I’m limiting my tea ..just found 2 jugs of sweet tea on the counter with a receipt lol. I’m definitely tempted to buy the sugar cubes now at Walmart.com since I have to order so much online anyways. No wonder we gain weight in this house. I love Earl Grey,Orange Peko,and Lipton can have it served so many ways. I tried green tea from Lipton started gaining weight found out it was the sugar substitute from someone here2
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JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »Hubby thinks something wrong with me because I’m limiting my tea ..just found 2 jugs of sweet tea on the counter with a receipt lol. I’m definitely tempted to buy the sugar cubes now at Walmart.com since I have to order so much online anyways. No wonder we gain weight in this house. I love Earl Grey,Orange Peko,and Lipton can have it served so many ways. I tried green tea from Lipton started gaining weight found out it was the sugar substitute from someone here
Your southern? Sweet tea can be the devil for me as well... lol1 -
My mother was from a British family that moved to the USA lived up North Yankees.
Dads Native American,German,Irish,Asian, Mexican,etc that came here.Jewish so to flee Hitler by joining ones who were already here decades before he’s West Texas born. Family I grew up around were 1st generations to speak English language from Filipino Great Aunts to Cuban Uncle. Lol my diet,language,y life is mixed race fun. Having tea time y brunches then quesadillas for dinner lol. I’m old so every word I use sends young folks to google what I mean lol. Cold Sweet tea to hot earl grey with sugars and chocolate are a craving issue. I don’t have a spot of tea if I’m not careful it’s more like a pitcher meant for guests. I’m starting to understand why my grandma had Lemon slices or cucumber in her water next to her hot tea.1 -
I dont know anyone (and have never known anyone) who drinks what we call fruit tea, herbal teas, lemon tea, green tea etc etc on a regular basis. They tend to be things we have hanging round the back of the cupboard when we thought we'd get some fancy tea. We dont really do cold tea either.
A cup of tea is quite simply black tea with milk. Sugar optional.
(now a load of my fellow countrymen will come along telling of their love for cold/herbal tea)!!!1
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