Why?

AlwaysWanderer

I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this - maybe there is someone out there who will understand - and help me understand.
I’ve been struggling with my weight for the last decade - going from 10lbs overweight to 40lbs overweight. I’m either all out obsessed with what I do (nothing that isn’t organic will make it past those lips) to then eating everything is sight.
I moan about it.
It bothers me.
I hate myself for failing.
Every Monday I start again.
The worst thing is, I KNOW what I should be eating and doing.
I’ve had my BMR and body composition tested.
I’ve seen a nutritionist - I’ve done a diploma in nutrition.
I’ve researched the most up to date scientific studies in the field of exercise and nutrition.
I’ve had my DNA analysed.
I’ve had my blood work done.
I’ve been to hypnotherapy.
I know to practice self compassion and mindfulness.
I know most of there is to know about this stuff.

So why the hell am I not doing it?! I’m an intelligent, educated person with a good job. Why, when it comes to my weight and being healthy, I’m a total failure?

Does anyone have an answer to this?

If you do, please reach out...

sefajane1

I don't have an answer but I couldn't just read and run. Lots of us know what we "should" do, but putting it in practise for ourselves is often harder.

Sending 🤗🤗🤗 and I hope someone comes along soon who can offer some constructive words/help for you 💐

sefajane1

sefajane1 wrote: »

I don't have an answer but I couldn't just read and run. Lots of us know what we "should" do, but putting it in practise for ourselves is often harder.

Sending 🤗🤗🤗 and I hope someone comes along soon who can offer some constructive words/help for you 💐

P. S.

You're not a failure, AT ALL 🤗

Danp

Wow! That all sounds so overwhelming! I'm confused and exhausted just reading about it let alone trying to live it.

I only do one thing and one thing only which has allowed me to successfully lose 100lb and interestingly I don't see it on your list.

I eat in a calorie deficit most of the time. That's it. I just track my food and make sure that most of the time I'm eating fewer calories than I use.

If I was going to suggest anything I would say to forget all that other stuff and keep things simple, forget all that other stuff and just do what matters. Eat in a calorie deficit.

G'luck

AlohaBeaches100

Maybe you are trying to be too aggressive with your deficit? I eat maybe 300-400 below my maintenance calories and sometimes when I'm extra hungry I eat my maintenance calories for a day a two until I feel better. Any deficit is better than NO deficit at all. Yes, it may take me 2+ years to lose the 60 lbs I want to lose, but I was once in your shoes and thought I'd never be able to do it. I stopped trying so hard. I also do exercises that I enjoy like biking, swimming, hiking. I go to amusement parks and instead of pigging out, I enjoy ONE treat and walk walk walk. I'm cooking new recipes and just genuinely enjoying my life now! And the scale is moving in the direction I want. I hope you find your answer that you are looking for and I wish you success!

AlwaysWanderer

Thanks @Danp and @AlohaBeaches100 for you replies.
I’ve done calorie counting in the past - but the older I get the less it seems to work. I’ll eat 1200 calories a day (my maintenance is 1500) and do some exercise to burn an additional 200-300, but I don’t see any results. I then get discouraged and quit all together 😔

Danp

It's a simple calorie equation. Eat more calories than you use and your body stores that extra energy as fat. Eat fewer calories than you use and your body is forced to call upon that fat reserve to make up the energy deficit. The only way to reduce body fat is via a calorie deficit by whatever means it is achieved.

If what you've said is true and you're not seeing any results then it likely one of a few reasons

1. You're eating more than you think. Make sure you log strictly and accurately. No guesses, no cups, no teaspoons, no 'serves'. Everything you eat gets weighed (preferably by the gram) and logged under an accurate database entry.

2. You're eating more than you admit. Often I've seen people who say 'I'm on 1200 calories' and it turns out they are on 1200 calories, at least until they 'cheat' or 'binge' or 'fall off the wagon' and they eat back their deficit and more. Make sure 1200 calories is doable. You're better off sticking with 1300 or 1400 calories every day than 1200 for a few days then 2000 when the it all gets too much.

3. You're being impatient. If your maintenance is 1500 calories then that suggests to me (since you haven't provided your details) that you have very little weight to lose. With so little weight to lose the progress will be slow, very slow, we're talking months not weeks to see any sort of progress slow.

4. You're (slow) progress is happening but you're not seeing it. The weight on the scales is made up of more than just fat. It's also water (which fluctuates), waste (which fluctuate) and a host of other factors (which also fluctuate). With so little to lose you might miss the 0.25lb fat loss you achieved this week in the 5lb fluctuations caused by the other scale factors.

Points 4 and 5 can be addressed by daily weigh-ins and a trending app. Doing daily trending will help to show slow progress that can otherwise go unnoticed and helps to 'even out' the natural ups and downs of scale fluctuations.

G'luck.

rheddmobile

Alternating between orthorexia and binging is actually a pretty common pattern. By setting impossible goals, you give yourself permission to fail. Instead, set small goals and keep them.

Non-organic food doesn’t have any more calories. If you have a degree in nutrition you already know this. It’s not part of your weight loss effort, it’s a distraction.

Log your food and exercise for a week without judgement or trying to change your habits. Then look at it and pick one small thing to change. Like not eating mayo on a sandwich, instead picking a low calorie topping. Or whatever is easy for you. Next week, do another small thing.

And the most important part, if you mess up and don’t do these small things, you don’t therefore have permission to throw your hands up and quit. Get back at it. Don’t waste even one moment feeling bad about the past, get on with the present.

AlwaysWanderer

Danp wrote: »

3. You're being impatient. If your maintenance is 1500 calories then that suggests to me (since you haven't provided your details) that you have very little weight to lose. With so little weight to lose the progress will be slow, very slow, we're talking months not weeks to see any sort of progress slow.

There is definitely some of that - I’m 5’1 and need to lose around 20lbs. Progress is very slow, and I don’t really see it. I’ll lose a lb, then it comes back on and it takes a few days to lose it again. It makes me frustrated, as I focus so much energy on it but not seeing the results others are. I know everyone is different, and I know I shouldn’t set expectations, and I need to be patient. But it’s hard. So hard, in fact, that I can’t seem to be able to do it.

AlwaysWanderer

rheddmobile wrote: »

Alternating between orthorexia and binging is actually a pretty common pattern. By setting impossible goals, you give yourself permission to fail. Instead, set small goals and keep them.

Non-organic food doesn’t have any more calories. If you have a degree in nutrition you already know this. It’s not part of your weight loss effort, it’s a distraction.

Wise words. Maybe that’s the core of my problem. I have been setting myself up to fail - all or nothing, and all is always too much.

I will take your advice, small changes. If I don’t see the results I want, so be it - the time will pass anyway.
Thank you - I appreciate it.

Lillymoo01

Throw out that rule book you have imposed on yourself. You don't have to be so restrictive and eat the 'right' food to lose weight. To start with, just eat the food you enjoy and stay within the calorie deficit. Keep a diary to work out which types of foods and macros you find the most filling. Once you have been logging accurately for a few weeks (see tips above to ensure most accurate logging) determine which foods are worth the calories and where you can make changes. Changes can be either reducing portion sizes or only having some foods occasionally because they really aren't worth the calories they contain, or they lead to binging. Don't make lots of changes at once. Just make one change at a time and then make another.

Be gentle on yourself and when you stuff up one day, just get back on track the next. One day won't make a difference. It is when that one day leads to another, then another that the weight will start coming back on.