I lost a lot of weight. He lost interest?

I've been in a long term relationship and at my heaviest was 351 pounds. I've lost 106 pounds to date and still going. I've been doing a lot of strength training to try and firm up my body, but I still have some loose skin. A lot on my belly and upper arms. My partner has seemingly lost interest in me in the last few months. There is no intimacy or affection at all coming from him, and it hurts me, terribly. I feel like the weight loss may have a lot to do with it. Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you process and cope with those feelings? Should I start a conversation with him, or give it some time in case it is something else going on with him hes not ready to discuss? We live together, but he isnt much for talking about feelings. Thanks in advance for any response.

Replies

  • dododididada
    dododididada Posts: 182 Member
    You both must talk first before making any assumptions!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    I know we are all saying the same things here but it's true - you've just gotta talk with him, to see where to go from there.

    I get that some people aren't as open to discussing their feelings and opinions but it's part of being in a relationship and I would assume that he would prefer to discuss whatever is going on (which may not even be related to your weight loss, who knows) before you leave him...which honestly I'd expect, if this continues, because it doesn't sound like a satisfying relationship.

    Honestly? I think a lot of times when people assume it's loose skin making them less attractive, or that their partner just preferred their body when it was heavier...it's usually something more like the partner feeling threatened by perceiving a change of "control" in the relationship or being jealous that you are getting more attention from other people. Maybe you have spent less time with him due to working out or indulged in meals less with him than before, and he feels that as a loss of closeness. Or maybe he's just a jerk? There are just so many other possibilities that are not even related to loose skin.

    I truly wish you the best. That is a major change to be very proud of, and I am sorry it seems to have affected your relationship.
  • littlegreenparrot1
    littlegreenparrot1 Posts: 651 Member
    Please do try to talk to him first.

    Don't forget that it could be something entirely to do with him, and have nothing to do with your recent changes.

  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,152 Member
    Your weight loss journey is your own..and has to be. You can't stay heavy or get skinny or get surgery to keep a man in love with you.

    There could be many different reasons for why he is being distant...and it could very well be nothing major.

    No matter the outcome of your relationship ...... please stay with your fitness goals. It is amazing you've lost that weight and you should be proud. Keep up the great work, you are worth it.

  • MrsTitus2
    MrsTitus2 Posts: 61 Member
    You've lost a lot of weight and he can feel left in the dust because he sees you so happy. Assure him you love him if you do. And that its about health not appearance. If he needs to lose weight or get healthy get involved. Good luck with your relationship.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,971 Member
    Communication is free. Knowledge is wisdom.

    It's time for a heart to heart. <3