Real World Support - Yes or No?

1princesswarrior

I'm just wondering how many of us are really getting shunned by our real world overweight friends and family?

I'm lucky my family is really supportive and my dad has even started walking. But I noticed my real world friends both skinny and overweight are not supportive at all. It seems like my skinny friends, except for a few, are starting to shun me now that I am able to keep up with them and in many ways surpass them. My overweight friends all ask me what I'm doing and when I tell them it's all about nutrition plan (I don't say diet) and exercise they distance themselves even further.

Sometimes it seems like the only real support I get is from those here on MFP and THANK YOU all for that :flowerforyou:

How many of you have had similar experiences and what have you done?

peeaanuut

I have found a lot of fake support in real life. People saying that I look skinnier and such, its BS and they are only patronizing me. MFP support has been sort of along the same lines for me with 1 or 2 friends actually helping and being supportive.

wildrose53

Very similar results. My partner has lost a lot of weight and over the past month has commented on how my working out is disrupting his life. It's almost like he doesn't want me to do well. It's really frustrating.

JenAndSome

I support myself and that is enough for me. The bf doesn't care except he likes that I look better and have more confidence now. I'm trying to talk him into joining a gym with me so I can get even better results. Other than that I have few real world friends. The amount that people suck prohibits me from caring about them enough to form friendships.

daisygeep

I really think the lack of support people get from their real life friends is a whole lot more about THEIR issues with guilt and self esteem over their own personal eating and exercise issues.

I am not doing this for anyone else except for me (and my little kids - but they are actually pretty damn supportive!) I am making supports for myself by getting to know other people at my gym and some of my instructors.

djshari

I have one person who really supports me - makes time to exercise although we often did pretty active stuff anyway - and discussing foods and weight etc. I don't really discuss it a whole lot with anyone else - though I think everyone else know. I don't mind. It's not that they are unsupportive it's just that they get busy and I'm not doing anything that stands out at meals or anything. I do appreciate teh support and like mindedness of MFP.

workout_ninja

I dont have many friends but my best friend is really supportive of my weight loss, she is going through the same journey so we support each other and can spend hours talking about calories! Im lucky to have her!

bunbunzee44

Well I don't talk about it much to others, just my husband, mom, sisterm co-worker and bestie knows. ofcourse when I say no to fatty sugary goodies, people will make comments, but I try to let them slip. but about the support, I don't know. nobody says anything about my progress.. but that's why I enjoy MFP I get support here.

corgicake

I've got a calorie budget from biking that makes what I eat a non-issue - it's the biking itself that throws people for a loop. The usual comments I get are along the lines of 'how do you get to work without going squish' and 'what do you do at night'. With the exception of a couple friends, being active is a someday thing so that's definitely a part of it.

kyleekay10

My ex-husband was never really supportive of my weight loss/fitness goals. Sure, he liked that I looked better the first time I dropped some weight- but he never really fully supported me. When I was with him I didn't really know how to cook (he did all the cooking) and he'd get frustrated when I'd ask him to portion things out, keep containers so I could look at the calories, when I'd ask him to go on walks with me and the dogs, etc. As a result my first-time weight loss was short lived.

Now that I'm single things are much better. I have support from co-workers, two of which happen to be two of my best friends. The guy I'm dating is really supportive too, since he likes to be active. I've since learned how to cook and I can make sure I'm feeding myself the right stuff, etc etc. Even if I didn't have my co-workers and boyfriend supporting me though, I think I'd be fine. This fitness journey is really just for me anyway. I've never been overweight and even at my highest weight was told I looked "good" (I was the epitome of skinny fat, though) so support was hard to find at first. But guess what? I did it anyway.

TLDR: Support is nice but it's not always necessary.

elaanne

I am incredibly fortunate in that I have a wonderfully supportive husband, and 2-3 good friends who really understand where I'm at and what I'm doing. I really, deeply appreciate being able to send out a text or make a call and say "hey, I'm struggling today," and receive the support I need.

danarandallreed

I think MFP is the best support. Everyone here wants you to succeed and has no competitive agenda.

RozayJones

My best friend started Weight Watchers a little while before I finally logged back in to MFP - we e-mail constantly about what we should do and shouldn't do. Tonight we are going to a baseball game and I hope (fingers crossed) she is my strength!
My husband just loves me and doesn't care about my dieting or weight - after health issues he blames the weight on that (which is true to a certain extent). I am counting on MFP and my best friend - I am keeping it pretty hush hush around everyone else - I need to do this for me and only me! :drinker:

bobbi29

I have realize that is not people not wanting to support us it that fact that its change and as everyone knows people don't like change. Fat friend worry that you will ditch them when you get slim. Slim friends might worry that you will sir pass(sp) them and realize that you don't want to be friends. Just like we are changing to a healthy lifestyle. They are changing on the idea of the new you.

candylilacs

I also think that it's difficult for other people to know what you're going through. Losing weight and changing habits is incredibly difficult and we like to talk about it, and for other people who aren't into it, they're likely not interested and shy away from it.

I tend to keep most of that talk to my SO and some friends who went through it already. The others are only politely interested.

Stary714

I feel like I'm lucky too. My friends support me and I even work out and plan meals with one! My mother loves it and she's gotten back on track with her diet too. I think support from the people around you is a really important thing to losing weight and getting/staying healthy

Bootjockey

I'm lucky, I only had one friend before, when I was heavy. I know that sounds weird, but, he's been supportive (he doesn't understand it, but he's supportive). And so there are two positives: 1> I'm used to doing things on my own, and supporting myself, being my own best advocate, and 2> I don't have a lot of negative friends to drag me down of belittle me. :-)

What'cha know, being unpopular CAN have it's benefits! :-)

Have a rockin' day!

-David / BootJockey
-257lbs

---

I'm just wondering how many of us are really getting shunned by our real world overweight friends and family?

I'm lucky my family is really supportive and my dad has even started walking. But I noticed my real world friends both skinny and overweight are not supportive at all. It seems like my skinny friends, except for a few, are starting to shun me now that I am able to keep up with them and in many ways surpass them. My overweight friends all ask me what I'm doing and when I tell them it's all about nutrition plan (I don't say diet) and exercise they distance themselves even further.

Sometimes it seems like the only real support I get is from those here on MFP and THANK YOU all for that :flowerforyou:

How many of you have had similar experiences and what have you done?

Bootjockey

HA! Your response sounds very much like mine. :-)

-David / BootJockey
-257lbs

FerretBuellerr

I haven't been very very open with using MFP and for the first time in my life being SERIOUS about eating properly, being active and losing weight, so I can't say if I do or don't have support.

My boyfriend has been very supportive and goes for walks with me whenever I want and pushes me to do the physical activities I do love on the days when I'm feeling blah and just want to stay on the couch, but he is the only one who actually knows about what I'm doing.

I just plan on letting people know as I go if the situation arises (ie. turning down loads of chocolate when camping this past weekend). I've only heard "you're looking better than the last time I saw you!" without letting people know that I'm counting calories and exercising more, and I take it as a positive compliment.

I also just look forward to the BAM I will get when my friends see the new and improved me :happy: My friends are the active types, but I don't think they would disown me because I am being more active.

mssierra2u

When you do something that other people are unwilling/unable to do sometimes makes them uncomfortable. I try to take it with a grain of salt and keep moving forward. Had same issue when I went back to school... suddenly there was a vacuum around me as a number of people, including family members, withdrew. So... it's not new.

preyasri

I am lucky to have great support. My husband always compliments any changes as do my parents. I have also found a small network in my building gym where we keep each other motivated. My work out partner is slim n fit and he always encourages me n pushes me. Also they notice my progress and keep me on track. There are a few haters n sabotagers, but they are just fuel to the fire.