Feeling sad

80_pound_journey

So yesterday I did so well. I logged everything, I felt positive, I felt excited.
And then I got home from work, put daughter to bed..... then sat down.... and binged. Because that’s what I have done for the past 2 years and I don’t know how to break the cycle.

I’m a single mummy so going out isn’t an option. I’m so disappointed with myself and wondering if I can ever get out of this rut I am in.

Any help gratefully received! Feeling really deflated this morning x

1971_becky_ann

I'm sorry, I know it's difficult! Any chance you can find an activity to do instead to keep your mind and hands preoccupied instead?

80_pound_journey

That’s what I need to do. I used to be so active, and now I just sit. I work full time, so by the time I’ve got home and got little one to bed, I just want to veg. But that leads to cupboard raiding!
Yes..... maybe a new hobby to keep me distracted. Open to ideas! x

Lenala13

I jump on the elliptical and put on a show/music while exercising. I have yet to master eating on the elliptical...though there may come a day...

Maybe cross stitching? Any hobby that’s not passive and keeps your hands occupied.

Keliz1173

I find I slip into night time eating out of habit and that feeling of "me time". I now brush my teeth when I get my son to bed and still watch some TV to relax but from my lap top in my bedroom. I'm more likely to snack in my living room but not my bedroom. It's a hard habit to break but changing up my routine and location has helped.

Parenting is hard - especially on your own. Take care mama!

cmriverside

There are lots of workout videos on YouTube, you don't need special equipment.

I think the mindset is hard to change, but if you want to control your weight you have to come up with strategies. Lots of good ideas above for ways to occupy your mind and hands.

I stopped buying things that I tend to binge on. That helped a lot.

gottswald

Do you know why you binge?

One of the roadblocks I faced was that I'm a night owl and when I hit a certain level of exhaustion I start to 'carb crave' and there is no amount of carbs or food that can satisfy. I was eating because I was exhausted, not because I was hungry. I've learned now to identify that and get rest without feeding the craving. I know what it is, I know why it is there and that empowers me to choose instead of just trying to distract or appease my brain.

RelCanonical

It's a hard compulsion to break. It took me a long time to get out of the "spend my evenings eating" mindset. I had to develop other hobbies that were fulfilling (so watching tv wasn't a hobby, it had to be something to work towards with a goal rather than a distraction). Right now, I'm playing through video games that have been sitting on my shelf, with the goal of having to finish them (or play them enough to decide I hate them) before I can buy more. Considering I'm an rpg fan, it's a lofty goal, lol.

dash108

I try to ask myself, if I am looking to eat, if I am really hungry or just bored to where I am feeling that I want to eat. A lot of times I will put it down and walk away.
Don't be discouraged. Today is a new day and things will balance themselves out. Don't let one bad night get you down for too long.

wammi49

Late night snacking was a challenge for me but I found the perfect snack....sugar free popsicles. They have saved my life. 15 calories and very refreshing. It has stopped me from snacking on cheese (which is my favorite). Also I've started snacking on cherries, blueberries and raspberries too. Much better than the stuff I use to snack on. Hang in there!

cayenne_007

Drinking hot tea helps me curb cravings at night - there's a million different kinds, find something you enjoy to sip on!

mohanj

I brush my teeth and use mouth wash as soon as my dinner is over which is a signal to my mind that no more eating allowed. Also it helps that my bedroom is upstairs and I don't go down to kitchen to avoid temptation even if I feel hungry until next morning.

MichelleMinn

If you're like me, you have a voice in your head that can be quieted for a time, but uses any opening to pipe up again. The voice wants you to know you won't succeed, and uses any "failure" as evidence of this. I'm still figuring this out, but what works for me is to stop beating myself up by quickly labeling any choice that's not perfect as some big deal, or "evidence," combined with trusting that if I -- even when I'm sad or not feeling confident -- return to the routines that make me feel strong, that I can keep the voice at bay. The longer I wait to get back on track, the harder it is to shut up the negativity.

I think you can binge, shrug it off as an occasional thing, and then make sure it IS an occasional thing, or you can allow that binge to become something that will snowball into something that really does halt or reverse your progress.

Again, if you're like me, you are capable of sabotaging yourself because you -- for whatever reason -- want to sabotage yourself. Sometimes you listen to the voice because there's a miserable satisfaction and familiarity in listening to the voice.

But you continue to have a choice to choose your normal, the things you do most of the time, and your choices renew every single moment. Your binging yesterday has nothing at all to do with what you do right now unless you tie those things together. Tie together the things that make you feel good, shrug off the things that make you feel bad as flukes.

Just like you have -- if you're like me -- a mean, cruel little voice telling you that you're not whatever enough that you can believe, you have or can find a voice that tells you this THIS is who you are when you do something worth celebrating.

If you're the woman who binged, you're also the woman who "...did so well. I logged everything, I felt positive, I felt excited." Why judge yourself by the binge instead of the other stuff, especially knowing that which one you chose to believe is you is the one that gets to speak to you?

MichelleMinn

80_pound_journey wrote: »

That’s what I need to do. I used to be so active, and now I just sit. I work full time, so by the time I’ve got home and got little one to bed, I just want to veg. But that leads to cupboard raiding!
Yes..... maybe a new hobby to keep me distracted. Open to ideas! x

I like to color, which I know is not the most active hobby, but... Coloring calms me and engages me so that food is not particularly on my mind. I wear a Fitbit, and so when it tells me I haven't gotten my 250 steps for the hour in. I either pace around my house for a while, or grab a leash and take a dog around the block. Or neaten something/do small tasks.

I know with a kid, you can't go around the block, but how about pacing around your house? 250 steps is literally only a few minutes, but you do it enough hours of the day, and the health benefits are huge. You can also get it by, lol, peeing if you're drinking enough water, light housework... You probably don't feel up to a major housecleaning, but wiping down counters and doing simple tasks for 2 or 3 minutes at a time?

I play the Sims also, but that's really unhealthy since I am less likely to drink enough water or move.

Reading, which can be done like coloring -- make sure to take a break each hour to move. Watch TV, but same pattern.

tramaine_21

Idk if you believe in God but I pray that you trust in Jesus and ask Him to help heal your soul and health. Keep the faith. Remember, a setback is a set up for a comeback!
Peace and love.

hpg19

Read the book brain over binge. Or you can also check out the podcast and YouTube videos. The author is Kathryn Hansen.

amusedmonkey

Is it just a habit or is there a root cause? If it's just a habit, you could replace it with a new one, and the new habit will get re-inforced while the old one gets muted down (don't expect smooth sailing, sometimes it resurfaces out of nowhere, but you just need to keep going). Maybe make the time you binge a time for recreational activities?

Some ideas that may or may not be to your liking, but this year (in addition to video games which I play nearly daily) I played with:
A 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle
Hogwarts lego castle
Learned crochet from scratch to make amigurumi toys (your daughter may like that)
Read an unusual book that wasn't my typical reading experience (House of Leaves)
and now I'm playing with polymer clay.

All of these are indoor activities, and there are plenty more. Find something, anything, you enjoy. It doesn't have to be a recreational activity, maybe you like a scented bath with good music or you're interested in learning a new language, playing a video game, or chatting with a friend over the phone.

Regardless of your eating habits, you deserve to feel good, so do what makes you feel good. If you enjoy an active outlet do that, but if you don't, it's entirely okay to enjoy things that aren't very active. Not everything revolves around diet and exercise. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we should do and forget about what we want to do. Self-care goes beyond our physical health.