Long story...back at it.

maureenseel1984

I used to be on MFP regularly several years ago-to the point of it being obsessive.
I started ballet, running...and lost a lot of weight when my chronic dieting turned into an eating disorder. I went into treatment in 2016 for anorexia nervosa and recovered then relapsed multiple times.
This time I want to do this for me-not for looking a certain way or for wearing a specific size-or really even reaching a certain weight. But with all my relapses I gained more weight when I went back to normal eating. I am now at the heaviest weight I've ever been in my adult life and I'm physically uncomfortable.
I want to do this the right way. Eating well most of the time, exercising regularly...hopefully get back to running in the fall once my ortho gives me the go-ahead (multiple stress fractures from running long distance while not eating enough).

I don't want to relapse...that's my big fear here. I know that I'm doing this with a healthy mindset this time and that I need to do something. This weight doesn't feel good.

sarahblythe1

I know you can do this!

maureenseel1984

sarahblythe1 wrote: »

I know you can do this!

Thanks for the encouragement. I just want to be sure I am doing this with a healthy mindset and for the right reasons. I really don't want to go back to the "ED"...it was a very dark place.

JessicaLThomas0316

I can empathize with you regarding using MFP obsessively - I was that way back in '17 and part of '18 before I actually felt myself snap. It was too much for me mentally and emotionally to keep tracking EVERY. BITE. I. PUT. IN. MY. MOUTH. I had lost 45 lbs at that point, a little less than my 1/2 way goal, but I just couldn't keep it up. The modified keto way of eating that I was following was too restrictive, and I had conditioned myself to not enjoy food anymore.
Your mental health plays a lot into your weight loss journey - if you aren't happy and enjoying the journey, it just isn't going to work. It definitely needs to be for YOU and how you FEEL, and NOT about what you look like. How you look is just a side benefit

You got this! Simply recognize your limitations and be okay with not always eating the right thing at the right time. You have to live, and sometimes that means a good beer with chips and salsa

If you'd like someone to share your journey, please feel free to add me.

LyndaBSS

Welcome to the community! ❤

Best wishes for a safe and healthy journey. Please reach out if you hit a stumbling block.

maureenseel1984

Thanks all for the support. I forgot what a great community MFP had to offer.