Just venting.
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floofyschmoofer wrote: »saraonly9913 wrote: »floofyschmoofer wrote: »
You're beautiful.
My head says you're lying to make me feel better but my heart and my southern upbringing says be gracious and thank you, so thank you. It doesn't hurt to hear.
I'm speaking the truth. You are very welcome.0 -
Thank y'all. I'm feeling a lot more positive.1
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floofyschmoofer wrote: »
You look SO cute! I hate that you're beating yourself up. 😞1 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »Your post reminded me of this if I can get it down and making sense. About a week ago someone posted about being an all or nothing kind of person.
We are confined by the descriptions we put on ourselves and it sometimes creates problems. I recall thinking when I started- I want to be the kind of person who works out every day. So I became that kind of person. But that was a pretty direct set of things to do.
When I weighed 280+ lbs let’s say I was the guy always ready to go out for a good time. I’ve had countless dinners like you describe in a variety of restaurants.
But to weigh less I had to change that. The first few times I said no to stuff, it felt weird.
Then I was in the “Are you eating in forever?” dilemma. So I said yes to a couple of things and that felt weird.
Trying to say we can’t keep everything the same except weigh less. So here’s an opportunity. You suggest you want to have an off day but keep going in the long run. Today’s the day. Expect it to feel strange. It’s uncharted waters but you can do this.
It’s just not possible to do something as long term as weight loss and not have overages here and there. Keep going. No one meal counts for anything in the big picture.
Btw my strategy has always been to log it. Even the epic face plant into the dessert table at the cookout. As outlandish as the numbers were, I tried to recall all of it and put down a number.
You're exactly right.
I have done things in the same (unhealthy) way for so long that this is new territory for me and a bit scary. It truly is up to me to show me I can do this.
I made sure to prep my eggs and turkey sausage before bed last night. Had my usual coffee (50ish calories) and now I'm snacking on grapes and chugging water. I had breakfast, logged it, and went ahead and logged my lunch too so I'll stick to it.
I wish I knew whether the depression I'm feeling today is intensified/sparked by poor food choices or if it is just residual/continual effects from me mentally berating myself for enjoying myself so much yesterday. If excessive, calorie-laden food is an actual trigger for my mental issues, that's even more incentive to continue toward my health goals.
I hadn't realized how much better I had felt overall-- physically and mentally, especially-- until I didn't anymore.
We go to the gym tonight, and I suspect it won't be too hard to avoid the free pizza at Planet Fitness if I'm still feeling this way by then.
They offer free pizza at your GYM? Talk about business development!
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Free pizza at the gym is just MEAN! What the hell are they thinking?
Other than that - you look lovely! And everyone else has already said great stuff about not beating yourself up and start again tomorrow etc etc. I concur with all of that.
You are def not alone with having a *kitten* relationship with food. Lots of us are on here exactly for that reason!!!
YOu got this - just keep going and hey - those big celebration meals are just that - celebration! Enjoy, don't demonise it, and just get back on the wagon the day after.
HUGS1 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »
You look SO cute! I hate that you're beating yourself up. 😞
Aw, thank you.1 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »Your post reminded me of this if I can get it down and making sense. About a week ago someone posted about being an all or nothing kind of person.
We are confined by the descriptions we put on ourselves and it sometimes creates problems. I recall thinking when I started- I want to be the kind of person who works out every day. So I became that kind of person. But that was a pretty direct set of things to do.
When I weighed 280+ lbs let’s say I was the guy always ready to go out for a good time. I’ve had countless dinners like you describe in a variety of restaurants.
But to weigh less I had to change that. The first few times I said no to stuff, it felt weird.
Then I was in the “Are you eating in forever?” dilemma. So I said yes to a couple of things and that felt weird.
Trying to say we can’t keep everything the same except weigh less. So here’s an opportunity. You suggest you want to have an off day but keep going in the long run. Today’s the day. Expect it to feel strange. It’s uncharted waters but you can do this.
It’s just not possible to do something as long term as weight loss and not have overages here and there. Keep going. No one meal counts for anything in the big picture.
Btw my strategy has always been to log it. Even the epic face plant into the dessert table at the cookout. As outlandish as the numbers were, I tried to recall all of it and put down a number.
You're exactly right.
I have done things in the same (unhealthy) way for so long that this is new territory for me and a bit scary. It truly is up to me to show me I can do this.
I made sure to prep my eggs and turkey sausage before bed last night. Had my usual coffee (50ish calories) and now I'm snacking on grapes and chugging water. I had breakfast, logged it, and went ahead and logged my lunch too so I'll stick to it.
I wish I knew whether the depression I'm feeling today is intensified/sparked by poor food choices or if it is just residual/continual effects from me mentally berating myself for enjoying myself so much yesterday. If excessive, calorie-laden food is an actual trigger for my mental issues, that's even more incentive to continue toward my health goals.
I hadn't realized how much better I had felt overall-- physically and mentally, especially-- until I didn't anymore.
We go to the gym tonight, and I suspect it won't be too hard to avoid the free pizza at Planet Fitness if I'm still feeling this way by then.
They offer free pizza at your GYM? Talk about business development!
Planet Fitness does free pizza the first Monday of every month AND free bagels for breakfast the second Tuesday of the month.
It's pretty cool. I mean, evil, sure, but it lets me exercise my Willpower Muscle a little every few weeks if I need to.1 -
I weighed in this morning after being very, very good yesterday and kicking my own butt at the gym last night.
I'm down a half pound from where I was Sunday, before The Feast. I did it. I cried a little 'cause I was proud.
Speed bumps are something I'll eventually make my peace with. Thanks so much for all the support. I'm at work again, chowing down on my eggs and turkey sausage and coffee. Depression symptoms are still there but they're running the background now and I can override them a little more than yesterday. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll feel like me again.9 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »Try to remember that shame is not a great motivator. It usually propels us in the opposite direction of healthy eating and healthy activities. Cruelty is a not a cheerleader - and that includes you being cruel to yourself.
Shame is my default setting.
Can anyone find my reset button?!
If...if you were the one offering support to another woman here, your age, your height and your weight, would you be cruel to her? No, right? Of course not. What makes you worth any less?
Every day get a pen and paper. Electronics are a no no.
Write down two things about yourself that you like, tape it to the mirror you use the most and leave it for a day. Next day do it again with two more things.
I don't even know you and I'll give you 5 things I'm confident of, just from this thread.
1. Beautiful smile
2. Beautiful eyes
3. Open and honest
4. Thoughtful
5. Working on improving yourself (and you're doing it
)
There's a start on that reset button for you, and there are any number of folks here (as you can see) all willing to jump in and support you.14 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »Try to remember that shame is not a great motivator. It usually propels us in the opposite direction of healthy eating and healthy activities. Cruelty is a not a cheerleader - and that includes you being cruel to yourself.
Shame is my default setting.
Can anyone find my reset button?!
If...if you were the one offering support to another woman here, your age, your height and your weight, would you be cruel to her? No, right? Of course not. What makes you worth any less?
Every day get a pen and paper. Electronics are a no no.
Write down two things about yourself that you like, tape it to the mirror you use the most and leave it for a day. Next day do it again with two more things.
I don't even know you and I'll give you 5 things I'm confident of, just from this thread.
1. Beautiful smile
2. Beautiful eyes
3. Open and honest
4. Thoughtful
5. Working on improving yourself (and you're doing it )
There's a start on that reset button for you, and there are any number of folks here (as you can see) all willing to jump in and support you.
Thank you!1 -
Feel the love. You’re in good company. The support you have is real and you deserve it. You are no less a beauty than anyone. Own your goodness. Be your own best friend ❤️2
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weight loss and fitness is a journey. We start motivated, we get into a new way of eating.... then there are the times when you can go back to the old ways and the new you sees the red flag. Even if it is for one meal, day, or vacation. These revelations are part of getting there. Cut yourself a break..move on and get back on track.
For me, I rule out all buffets and all you can eat restaurants, for obvious reasons.1 -
I am two week past my first planned two week diet break. For two weeks I tried to eat at maintenance. I actually ate above most days and I beat the crap out of myself for it.
But the scale didn't blow up. I was able to get right back to it when the two weeks were up.
And I learned from it. I learned that I have much more control over my eating than I thought. If I hadn't gotten right back to it, I wouldn't have learned that.
I am learning from this community that I have to develop lifelong habits if I am going to be successful.
I think it was normal for me to beat myself up for overeating because I lived like that and hated myself for it for so long. Of course I would react the same way. Until I went through it to the other side and learned that things are different now. I can indulge once in awhile without it destroying my overall plan.
It's like when I quit smoking. I was told that I was reprogramming my brain. Because of this, all of those firsts would be difficult because my brain was trained to smoke in those situations so I would have cravings to overcome.
Overeating is the same thing. Your brain is used to shaming you for eating a lot of food. Of course it would react that way to a large decadent meal.
I guess what I am doing a really bad job of trying to say is that your depression is a normal reaction for you. But now your brain knows that it can trust you to stay the course even if you indulge once in a blue moon. So hopefully next time you won't have the same reaction.
So much of weight loss is the mental battle. You won this round. Hopefully the next one will be easier.2 -
elisa123gal wrote: »
For me, I rule out all buffets and all you can eat restaurants, for obvious reasons.
Believe it or not, those work great for me since all I ever want is a little of what looks best to me. Do I end up overeating? Yeah, but not by much since I love veggies so those make the cut, and I walk out with happy taste buds.
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MichelleMinn wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »
For me, I rule out all buffets and all you can eat restaurants, for obvious reasons.
Believe it or not, those work great for me since all I ever want is a little of what looks best to me. Do I end up overeating? Yeah, but not by much since I love veggies so those make the cut, and I walk out with happy taste buds.
It is such a personal journey... and it is interesting that what works for on person doesn't for another. That's why finding what works individually..really what gets results I guess I should say.. is what matters.3 -
MichelleMinn wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »
For me, I rule out all buffets and all you can eat restaurants, for obvious reasons.
Believe it or not, those work great for me since all I ever want is a little of what looks best to me. Do I end up overeating? Yeah, but not by much since I love veggies so those make the cut, and I walk out with happy taste buds.
I read this and laughed out loud because a buffet is basically Open Season for me.
Golden Corral is what comes to mind, and I can easily pack away 4-5 yeast rolls, a pile of mashed potatoes + corn, probably with ranch because ranch is the ultimate condiment. Meatloaf or maybe some fried chicken. A small salad-- drowning in ranch. Bourbon. Street. Chicken. -- on white rice, of course! More yeast rolls, and dip them in ranch. And then dessert-- cheesecake or ice cream, or maybe both. Dipped in ranch- KIDDING. Not to mention the sweet tea!
But yeah no, I do better with a menu or a set course. If I know I'm going out to eat in advance, I'll pull up the menu on my phone and decide what I want before-hand, ideally while I'm full, and just stick to it.1 -
Well, yeah ... Golden Corral. Only been to it once, and I discovered candied bacon.0
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I have to thank you guys so much for the encouragement you gave me a couple of months ago.
I took this tonight and wanted to share it here. I stuck with things and have lost 22 pounds so far. Same outfit, same jeans but a genuine smile on a whole new woman. And I have 35 more pounds until my first Big Goal.
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floofyschmoofer wrote: »
For what it's worth, I think you look very confident and beautiful just get back on track and you'll be fine :-)0 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »I have to thank you guys so much for the encouragement you gave me a couple of months ago.
I took this tonight and wanted to share it here. I stuck with things and have lost 22 pounds so far. Same outfit, same jeans but a genuine smile on a whole new woman. And I have 35 more pounds until my first Big Goal.
Look at you! There is a NOTICEABLE difference, and I love the confident smile!
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