How to NOT hate exercise?

talhonjik
talhonjik Posts: 440 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Hi everyone.
I don’t know if anyone has had any experience with not enjoying ANY exercise? I know I should do it to be healthy and stuff, but I find it sooo hard to motivate myself to do it. Everything I read says “just do something you enjoy!”, but I’ve had over 30 years of trying different kinds of exercise now and I haven’t found anything. I’ve tried (among many others) hiking, swimming, jogging, running, cycling, yoga, dancing, zumba, martial arts, lifting, rock climbing, acrobatics, tennis, all kinds of ball sports - plus “weirder” ones like fencing and archery etc. I’ve tried on my own, with friends, with music, etc. And nothing has ever come even remotely close to “enjoyable” - they range from running, which is at a level of “I’d rather be unfit forever and die young than ever do this again”, to swimming, which is still only at a level of “I’d still rather do my tax return than this”. And the rest fall somewhere between the two.
So ... has anyone else faced this problem and got around it somehow? Found a way to pick a form of exercise and force yourself to hate it less? Because I’m really starting to think that unless I can stop myself from hating something I currently hate, I won’t ever get fit!
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Replies

  • maureenseel1984
    maureenseel1984 Posts: 395 Member
    What is it that you hate about it? When it comes to motivation, I always have goals in exercise. For running it was usually training for a race or achieving a certain distance. In yoga it's acing an advanced pose...in pole (which I loved) it was mastering a new spin, trick or inversion. It also helps to get into a routine and have a plan so there is some consistency. I have to say that when I find a form of exercise that's fun...it isn't a challenge at all to find motivation to do it. Do you not like hiking? Walking? I don't think I've ever met anybody who couldn't find a single solitary activity that they enjoyed.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    I think it might be a matter of not overthinking it. I go into exercise with the mindset of being engaged and being in proper form (think weight lifting) to do that particular thing. I don't think about whether or not I like it until afterwards.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    Have you tried getting into very many of these things? I imagine the fencing took several classes to even have a feel for it, but what about everything else? I know that I have a hard time enjoying anything I totally suck at, so I have to stick with something for quite a while to get anything out of it.

    And then there is the just keep looking. I was really surprised to find that I enjoyed swing dancing. Before I took up swing dancing I always said "I like just about any music except big band." On the other hand, even as I got good at many kinds of dancing, I found that there are still some styles that my feet just won't do.

    Even yoga. I always liked the idea of yoga, but yoga classes didn't work for me until we found Iyengar yoga, because the teachers are trained to help you adapt the poses to your needs. At first I found it really boring without the flow, but I now that I know what my body needs to focus on, I can get more into it.
  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
    Do you hate walking too? Walking is exercise. Just walk.


  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,960 Member
    Playing the drumkit, pulling church bells?
  • breanamock
    breanamock Posts: 28 Member
    How long did you do these activities you don’t like? I am a complete klutz (three left feet), but I went to a ballroom dance class because a bunch of my friends wanted to go. Of course I didn’t enjoy it, but I liked spending time with my friends, so I went with them the next week, and the next. Once I’d been going a couple months, I had learned enough to finally enjoy myself. I was no longer constantly thinking about which foot to put where. Dance became my main form of exercise for the next several years.

    I also agree with the suggestions to find something that has a payoff that you find worth the exertion. Walking dogs, learning martial arts/self defense, or walking to a spot with an amazing view.

    TL;DR Give any form of exercise enough time that you don’t have to concentrate on the exercise itself. Get to the point where you can concentrate on the payoff before you decide it’s not for you.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Find your why. What do you love? WHY do you hate exercise so much?

    From your picture I’d suggest archery again, fencing, riding pillion, and/or slingshot. Register for a demonstration at your next comic con. If nothing else, fear of embarrassment should keep you moving.

    If you still absolutely hate all exercise, why not give it up? It could take a decade or more to catch up with you.
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 551 Member
    aokoye wrote: »
    <snip>

    On the other hand, I really don't like everything involved with getting ready to swim and being finished swimming. The changing into and out of my swimsuit, the being way too cold for the first 150ish yards, locker rooms, hoping a brought my goggles (that's at least something I can easily account for), etc. The only redeemable quality of the before/after is that at least I can get in a hot tub after, assuming I have time. There aren't enough redeemable qualities about swimming for me to swim once or twice a week at this point in my life, especially given that I feel exhausted for the first X weeks before I get used to it. That tedious and uncomfortable set up/finish is something that I can think about when I'm trying to figure out what sport or activity to try in the future.

    <snip>

    Great post @aokoye . This bit in particular really stuck out to me. The set up's, before and after's can be really off-putting, sometimes even to the point of just not bothering at all. For real.

    To the OP: I hope you eventually find something that you enjoy.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,129 Member
    edited July 2019
    Perhaps instead of looking for an intentional exercise, focus on getting your general activity level up - spend less time on the sofa, find activities that keep you from sitting down - arts & crafts, gardening, volunteering, dog walking,etc. Look for little ways you can increase your NEAT - taking stairs instead of lift/escalator, if you drive parking a little further away, if you take public transport getting off a stop early. All the little things add up.

    Alternatively, I did notice there wasn't much in the way of watersports mentioned in your initial posts too- would that be an option to try? Rowing, kayaking, etc. I was terrified of fresh water before getting into rowing 18 months ago, but I've gotten over it now and find it so calming being out on the river. I'd say just keep an eye out for different things, one day there might just be something that clicks.
  • InspectorRed
    InspectorRed Posts: 757 Member
    What do you LIKE to do? Surely you have some type of hobby.... take that and expand on it. Even if your hobby is reading, set up a book on a treadmill and start off slow and tell yourself that you will walk while you read 1 chapter. The walking part you probably won't like but sometimes as adults we have to be a bit uncomfortable to get the results we want.
  • MikePfirrman
    MikePfirrman Posts: 3,307 Member
    I hate to admit this but I originally got back into exercise when I was at my highest weight (255 or so and I'm only 5' 10", so that's obese) because I loved a bit of Peanut Butter at night. I ate back ALL of my exercise calories. I forced myself to walk, then do the Stationary Bike, then jog. I despised running. Hated it. In part because it was so painful and, in part, because I had never really done any sort of sustained cardio except in intermural BB and, perhaps, riding a bike around the neighborhood as a kid.

    It sounds like you don't like the pain. I didn't either. Slowly, eventually, the pain passes. When mine did, I was able to move more and gain more "net" calories. To me, the interim pain was worth it to get more of a budget to eat. When running got too painful for me, I moved to the Assault Bike and Indoor Rower. I still wanted more net calories that I could eat back, even in maintenance!

    Now, and granted this is nearly 12 years after starting to workout, I workout 7 hours a week -- most of that cardio. If I don't exercise, I feel miserable. Old habits can be changed over time. They really can.



  • kmfeig87
    kmfeig87 Posts: 1,990 Member
    Friends help. Walk with a friend, instead of sitting and chatting. Meet a friend for an exercise class. OR listen to a good audio book. Sometimes I want to keep going to hear more of the book. OR if you'd rather just be watching TV , then exercise while you watch! Earn TV time through exercise!
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    Terytha wrote: »
    NorthCascades wrote: »
    How does anyone hate hiking? Did somebody bring you on a steep and nasty trail for your first time? Maybe try an easier trail with a big payoff?

    I love hiking. I would never call it fun, and the enjoyable part isn't sweating up a hill being bit by flies and mosquitoes, that's stuff I put up with for the views and the time with nature.

    I loathe hiking because it involves the two things I find most uncomfortable and exhausting: walking and being outside.

    I only go for walks because the alternative is leg pain and swollen feet and that sucks more. Often when we go for a walk, we go to the mall and walk there because it's air conditioned and I won't get bit, stung or sunburned. I'm terrified of sunburn.

    More to the point, OP, have you tried video games? I know some people who love Wii Fit still, or DDR. I play virtual reality games. Burns lots of calories dodging bullets or punching things. But it's not exercise, I don't do it to exercise, I play because I like games and getting high scores and I don't have to be around people.

    There is a reason they make sunblock and UPF clothing. :)
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited July 2019
    Earlier this year I was obsessed with laser tag. Even if you've tried many activities, there are still loads of others to try. Do you like window shopping? Have you tried Pokemon Go or some more involved activities like planned treasure hunts? That's walking and walking is exercise. I actually did "Zombies! Run" without running, because I was not fit enough to run, I just walked. It was interesting!

    If you decide you're done trying new activities, you could try linking something you like to the activity you hate the least. For example, I dedicate the most exciting audio books to "only while walking", so I walk in order to enjoy them and it becomes more about the audio book than the walking, deflecting the point of focus (since you're mentally resistant to the idea of exercise, making it about something else may help).

    The other option is to do it because you need to do it regardless if you like it or not. Pick the activity you hate the least and force yourself to do it on a schedule without a fail. Even if you don't like something, if you do it often enough and consistently enough, it becomes a habit. You may not ever enjoy it, but you'll feel like something is missing if you skip a day for some reason and that feeling will be more annoying than the activity itself. That's how I deal with strength training because without it I get injured so I need to do it even though I hate every second of it. Although I do enjoy some of the activities I do, I do most of it in order to eat more, otherwise, I would do it less often. I love food, so it's a great motivator because if I don't move I don't get to eat the way I like to eat. Maybe there is a goal that is important to you and you're willing to feel discomfort in order to achieve it?

    If you're not willing to do that, you could simply be active throughout the day. Don't delegate chores, do them yourself. Walk around the house when you're on the phone or waiting for coffee. Fold laundry in another room and make several trips to put it away...etc. That's physical activity too. I'm the designated garbage person in the house, for example.

    If, in the end, you decide you don't really want to exercise, that's a choice to make too. If you understand that it may mean being unfit and are okay with that, then it's okay to make that choice.

    If you still want to pursue this, maybe if you tell us what exactly you hate about physical activity, and what activities do you really enjoy, then maybe there will be better suggestions.
  • talhonjik
    talhonjik Posts: 440 Member
    edited July 2019
    Hi - I just wanted to say thanks SO much for all the replies. I really appreciate it!

    There were questions about what I dislike about exercise, and what my goals are - what I dislike is mostly the physical pain and discomfort. For cardio, it’s being out of breath (lungs burning/heart pounding), too hot and muscles burning; and for strength stuff it’s the muscle pain, that painful feeling like your muscles might snap or cramp or something. Then there’s the aftereffects - feeling tired and groggy for ages afterwards, and your body aching. As far as I can tell, that’s just what any exercise feels like; I walk to work and back every day, and I get those same unpleasant sensations from that walk (although of course far less than from other exercise).

    As for what my goals are - I’d love to say they are primarily to be physically fit and healthy in order to have a long life without health problems, and of course I do want that too - but if I’m honest, what really drives me is the idea of not being overweight and being able to look the way I want to in clothes I want to wear. It sounds shallow, but that’s the way it is.

    It’s a great idea to push through the painful, horrible part of exercise by doing it repeatedly until it gets less awful - it’s just proved really hard for me to dig up the motivation to do something regularly for months that I’m REALLY not enjoying. A few years ago I tried to do that with swimming, which I kind of hate the least; I made it through several months of swimming 2-3 times a week, but it never seemed to get any less unpleasant or hard and eventually I (possibly unwisely) gave up. Hence why I was wondering if there was a trick to learning to hate it less, which might get me through the difficult months.
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
    I just wanted to say you are not alone...I can't imagine anyone LIKING exc.
    I hate it...everything about it..LOL..being sore...sweating....As I have seen my mom and family members get older and have health issues etc...I want to exc to keep my body and mind strong...I just keep that in the back of my mind

    kim
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    With new details, possible alternatives/suggestions to improve the workout itself:

    "For cardio, it’s being out of breath (lungs burning/heart pounding)" : I get like this too at the gym and I hate it. I don't know about you, but I find my sinuses burn, didn't even realize that was a thing that could feel! The way I get around this at home is, I do less intense workouts. On my own I go at my own speed to workout videos, have not had a breathing problem. At the gym, I'm learning to take breaks when I need them, not judge by when others are breaking around me. And if I take a break for breath, I slowly walk in place until my breathing is under my conscious control again (can breathe deep and controlled), before trying the next station.

    "for strength stuff it’s the muscle pain, that painful feeling like your muscles might snap or cramp or something": What kind of weights are you doing, because from the sound of it you are trying too heavy from the start. I do the majority of my strength through youtube workout videos, with handweights. My strength is progressing slower than some, but my limbs never feel like they are going to break/strained something. The way it was explained to me is that you should be able to keep good form, rest as soon as you can't. If you get through the max number of reps without struggling, try a heavier set next time. It has been slightly more than a year and I am only just starting to do floor pushups (on knees, not many in a row), and I only just hit 10 lb weights.

    Also, a different suggestion. My hubby hates exercise because he doesn't want to take time away from hobbies to work on strength. His solution was to rig up a stationary bike in front of the tv and he plays video games while cycling. It helps him zone out from thinking of the muscle movement and fatigue, and he still gets to do his games =) Obviously he is only doing cardio and not working upper body, but any movement is a win.

    Not sure if this will help, just answering from personal experience from my couch 2 fit journey.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    talhonjik wrote: »
    Hi - I just wanted to say thanks SO much for all the replies. I really appreciate it!

    There were questions about what I dislike about exercise, and what my goals are - what I dislike is mostly the physical pain and discomfort. For cardio, it’s being out of breath (lungs burning/heart pounding), too hot and muscles burning; and for strength stuff it’s the muscle pain, that painful feeling like your muscles might snap or cramp or something. Then there’s the aftereffects - feeling tired and groggy for ages afterwards, and your body aching. As far as I can tell, that’s just what any exercise feels like;

    What kind of cardio? You mentioned swimming and walking. But it sounds like you dug deep and went all out. Which is for sure one strategy, but it's ok to put less into it, and never become out of breath doing cardiovascular exercise.
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    Mindset plays a big role. It sounds like you're only trying these pursuits because "it's good for you". Viewing exercise as a necessary evil has never worked well for me. I 100% do not like to run or do any sort of cardio, but if I can mentally rephrase the purpose of it as a warm-up to lifting, improving my athleticism, and/or see how fast I can do a distance I can tolerate it. As for the act itself, I'm best off with an out-and-back route. Trying to do laps in our subdivision or even plod away on the treadmill listening to a podcast or watching TV given the opportunity to stop, I will... I've seen me do it. Same with lifting, I tried doing P90X and P90X3 to get "shredded fast" and I just didn't like the concept and was just going through the motions because I had to. Switching to a powerlifting/bodybuilding hybrid approach changed that mindset to improving my strength by x lbs or make my arms, chest, legs, etc. look better. Sure, I don't necessarily like getting up at 5am to lift before work but I'm happier when I do because I know I'm working towards my performance and physique goals. Very much n=1 observations but that's what works for me. Make it less "I need to do X because it's good for me" (or burns Y calories) and more about stimulating, improving, and enjoying what your body can do.

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