Men, how do you experience pregnancy?

ldrosophila

Women could spend hours talking about our pregnancies and our feelings, and every story is very unique.

How is it for men? What are your feelings when you first hear the news, when you hear the heart beat, feel it kick, watch as your lady goes into delivery, and then that feeling when you finally get to hold your baby?

They say men dont love a child until they hold the child? Is that true? How nervous or excited where you? How did the feelings for your lady change, or did they stay the same? What is your unique story? I know it's not a topic you'll ever sit around talking to your buddies about, but I'm sure the experience changed your life.

PS-curious how the ladies relate the experience of their S/O

Timshel_

I'll speak for myself and maybe others will aagree with some of it.

For me, the first time my wife told me she was pregnant, it wasn't much of a surprise since it was a concious effort. Although, it happened the first try so I was disaapointed there wouldn't be gratuitous sex involved. Anyway, emotionally I started questioning if I could work hard enough to provide for a family. I also wondered if I could handle such a life long commitment. Lots of guys thoughts about what I would be like as a Dad. Would I be able to fix myself and not repeat what I considered mistakes of my father. Etc.

I knew I COULD be a good Dad, but being a guy....sometimes your environment controls your heart.

Timshel_

I will add, for me, being a parent was very natural. It wasn't and isn't easy becuase as a guy I've grown up as most and sometimes have issues with nuturing, but it 'felt' right for me. If that makes sense.

Carl01

I have to pee a lot.

jdm_taco

I'm horrified at the thought of being a father. Probably only thing im scared of.

cwolfman13

Our first was a bit of a roller coaster. We were actively trying for about a year and nothing was happening...we pretty much resigned ourselves to the idea that it just wasn't in the cards. Then one day..."honey...I'm pregnant." I remember feeling a lot of joy, but also a bit of WTF...I had just gotten my head back into we're going to be single and traveling the world together mode...and now a kid comes along.

Despite that, I was overwhelmed with joy. I was also terrified. My job at the time was not conducive to fatherhood...it was barely conducive to marriage. I worked a ton of hours..day and night, weekends, etc...and I traveled on business about 25-30 weeks out of the year out of town and only home on weekends...that I usually spent in the office. I knew this wasn't going to fly and I didn't want my kid growing up while daddy was at work so the job hunt began in earnest...unfortunately, this was also a little over three years ago when the economy was even ****tier than it is now.

Looking for a job and dealing with the strangeness of my wife being pregnant...the idea that our lives were going to be completely different was just a lot of stress. To be honest, I really enjoyed our lives the way they were...we jetted of to wherever, whenever and that was always fun...I knew those days were over. To boot I also worried if I was going to be a good dad.

It took me pretty much all of those 9 months to finally land a job that gave me decent hours and kept me home most of the time. Actually, my interview was scheduled on the due date...fortunately my boy was 10 days early. Finding another job was probably the biggest relief for me...I desperately wanted to be a good dad and for me, that included being around for my kiddos. My dad was always off on business and missed out on a lot of stuff that he now regrets and I just didn't want to have those regrets.

Fit_Mama84

bump. interested in hearing what the men have to say.

tonafoto

To answer the original question: from a distance!

JUDDDing

I have 3 kids, so I enjoyed the 24-25 months of having a designated driver. :drinker:

grimm1974

I have gone through 3 of them with my wife. My experiences are probably a lot different than most.

Pregnancy #1: This wasn't my child. My wife was only my girlfriend at this time. She had gotten pregnant just before leaving her first husband. I really didn't have any feelings for the child until he was born. I ended up getting laid off from my job the day after returning from her delivery. I ended up being a stay at home dad for him for about 2 months. It was a difficult transition to become a father to the child because it was a very new experience for me.

Pregnancy #2: This is my genetic child. We had not been able to get pregnant for a few years, so I was excited when I found out. The entire pregnancy was frightening. We had several trips to the ER because of bleeding due a low attached placenta. His birth was more of a relief than anything. His birth was special to me since it was the first child that really felt like he was all mine.

Pregnancy #3: This wasn't my child. My wife and I had been separated. She got pregnant by another guy. We ended up getting back together early in the pregnancy. This pregnancy was a real test for us. We discussed the different options of whether to keep the child, consider putting it up for adoption, and even abortion. However, when it came down to it, we knew we had to keep the child. It was honestly the best decision I have ever made. She gave birth to my little girl who just never fails to brighten my day.

To answer one of your questions, in each situation I was more focused on my wife than the baby until the birth. At the time of the birth, the emotions definitely came immediately.

Prettymisssparkles

Awesome thread!

ldrosophila

Thank you guys for sharing...its really interesting to see a man's perspective. We spend so much time focusing on the women and the babies, but in every case there is/was a man involved.

HouseWolf1960

bump for later

zagon_the_ultimate

I can remember vividly my first, second, and third child. Unfortunitly it wasn’t always roses and butterflies.

Child #1: I got the call when I was at work that my wife was pregnant, I was overjoyed. I didn’t run around jumping and clicking my heels or anything, but excitement and anticipation was defiantly present. I would spend hours feeling her belly for the kicks, talking over how life was about to change. Some ER visits, all false alarms and over stressing. Delivering my first son was a little frantic because she wanted to quit, but she couldn’t cause the cord had gotten tangled (he had actually tied an overhand knot in it sometime during the pregnancy).

Child #2: this one wasn’t so filled with glee and happiness, largely because my wife had left me at that point. Her reason was I had done my duty and she didn’t need me anymore. When I asked her what happened to the woman I fell in love with her answer was “That woman isn’t me, that woman never existed”. So I missed A LOT of that pregnancy. I even missed the birth of my second son because she didn’t tell me about it, I found out after the fact a few days later (had a friend that worked in that hospital).

Child #3: Present wife and we’re both not sure how she even GOT pregnant. She was medically infertile and on birth control at the time. The pregnancy wasn’t over complicated, but there were some issues due to her stopping all of her depression meds overnight. So stress was high, energy was low, but all percervered.

vtmoon

I have gone through 3 of them with my wife. My experiences are probably a lot different than most.

Pregnancy #1: This wasn't my child. My wife was only my girlfriend at this time. She had gotten pregnant just before leaving her first husband. I really didn't have any feelings for the child until he was born. I ended up getting laid off from my job the day after returning from her delivery. I ended up being a stay at home dad for him for about 2 months. It was a difficult transition to become a father to the child because it was a very new experience for me.

Pregnancy #2: This is my genetic child. We had not been able to get pregnant for a few years, so I was excited when I found out. The entire pregnancy was frightening. We had several trips to the ER because of bleeding due a low attached placenta. His birth was more of a relief than anything. His birth was special to me since it was the first child that really felt like he was all mine.

Pregnancy #3: This wasn't my child. My wife and I had been separated. She got pregnant by another guy. We ended up getting back together early in the pregnancy. This pregnancy was a real test for us. We discussed the different options of whether to keep the child, consider putting it up for adoption, and even abortion. However, when it came down to it, we knew we had to keep the child. It was honestly the best decision I have ever made. She gave birth to my little girl who just never fails to brighten my day.

To answer one of your questions, in each situation I was more focused on my wife than the baby until the birth. At the time of the birth, the emotions definitely came immediately.

You sir are a better man than I. I hope she at least somewhat appreciates for all that.

ninerbuff

Women could spend hours talking about our pregnancies and our feelings, and every story is very unique.

How is it for men? What are your feelings when you first hear the news, when you hear the heart beat, feel it kick, watch as your lady goes into delivery, and then that feeling when you finally get to hold your baby?

They say men dont love a child until they hold the child? Is that true? How nervous or excited where you? How did the feelings for your lady change, or did they stay the same? What is your unique story? I know it's not a topic you'll ever sit around talking to your buddies about, but I'm sure the experience changed your life.

PS-curious how the ladies relate the experience of their S/O

My child changed my view on what I believe I wanted. I want everything for her now.Now that Porche 911 has to wait till retirement.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

jsherrill92

put it in, take it out, put it in, shake it all about

recriger

**Just realized that this is rather long winded:), sorry.**

I always wanted a family so I had always looked forward to a child. I didn't get married until I was 30 and after we decided to start trying, my wife and I tried for 6 months to get pregnant. We weren't actually the first to notice. We went to visit my parents over the Christmas break and my folks decided to pay for family pictures. At one point during the sitting my mom leaned over to my wife and asked if there was anything she wanted to tell her. The question surprised my wife for it's oddness. When we got home she told me that she was a little over a week "late". I went out and got 3 tests and they all came back positive:) I only got 3 because my sister had issues with tests contradicting each other.

I know my wife was excited, but she is a germanic accountant; she is a tad stoic. I on the other hand was not as stoic about the whole thing. I had to make a conscious effort to not tell everyone right away. Along with that I kept buying stuff in preperation, that ticked her off a little (accountant and all). My favorite item was one of those little amplifiers that you put on her stomach and listen for the heart beat. It took forever, it felt, but one day I was finally albe to hear it. One day she got tired of me planning and popped off "go build a crib or something!". I don't think she realized that her sarcastic attempt to distract me from buying baby stuff was a great idea in my opinion! Two of my favorite hobbies are carpentry and blacksmithing.

Two months later my baby to be had herself a Cherry and Walnut crib with Birds eye Maple slats, all mortise and tennon joints with the only metal being the pegs for the sliding front. Yes... I'm a tad extreme at times:)

In many ways i know I was lucky. I had all the worries about money and jobs, but they appeared small in my mind. We both luckily came from stable families (plenty of crazy, but a stable crazy) so we had a good support structure. We already were in a home and both had good jobs. Oddly my biggest worry came before we found out the gender. I was torn about which I may prefer. Turns out that in hindsight I always wanted a daughter, but didn't realize I was certain until the Dr. told us that is what she would be.

I was feeling sorry for my wife as the due date got closer. I am 6'1" and she is not. She was cooking a rather healthy little girl and my wife was getting a big belly. We dealt with 2 false labors, and after the second one her mother flew out and stayed to help out. My wife was doing everything to try and convince our daughter to surrender her current lodging and come meet her parents. She went for long walks with her mom, and took my lawn mower keys to mow 3 times that week (large bumpy yard and a riding mower).

Finally the day came and we were admitted to the hospital. We ended up having to get a c-section, but everything went smoothly. One of my favorite memories was that besides feeding, I was the only one able to stop her crying which gave my wife some relief. Sometime during the first day I stumbled across how to comfort her. I held her vertically against my chest and touched our noses together and hummed a tune. I tried humming in other positions, but this was the only one that would work. Her little head would fall back into my hand and she would fall asleep with her mouth open:) If I pulled my nose away before she was "deeply" asleep she would wake up every time. My sister-n-law took a picture of it which is still my computers backround.

She's still my little buddy even though I have the role of disciplinarian. I will help with most everything, but she has to be working on it herself. Unlike her grandparents (daycare twice a week) she doesn't get to sit around while telling others what to do for her. When I sit to watch TV, she comes running "cuddle cuddle"! She climbs up and sits right against me. She grabs my left hand and makes me wrap my arm around her tucking my hand under her left thigh. And that's how we watch TV:) I ask her a lot who is daddy's favorite, and she has started teasing. She will list every breathing creature we know until finally admitting that it is her.

Yeah... she has a tiny finger... And I am wrapped around it. Hell, I'm not even embarassed:)

FrankenBeanz

Yeah... she has a tiny finger... And I am wrapped around it. Hell, I'm not even embarassed:)

Ok now you sir... you made me teary at work!

Prettymisssparkles

Yeah... she has a tiny finger... And I am wrapped around it. Hell, I'm not even embarassed:)

Ok now you sir... you made me teary at work!

I got teary too!