Yo-yo dieting - is there any hope?

I first used this app 6 years ago when I was 18. Since then, pretty much once a year I’ve gone through a spurt of calorie counting and weight loss, usually losing between 10-20lbs. However, no matter how hard I try, it reaches a point where I stop and become ravenous and end up eating a surplus and gaining pretty much all of it back and I eventually gain back to my starting weight and the cycle repeats.

I’m currently in a phase where I’m overeating consistently, after tracking and losing about 10lbs over the course of about 4 months.

I feel like since I was 18 eating has been difficult for me. Always swinging between being very controlled and committed, to the other end where I just have the urge to way overeat. And when I’m losing weight, I always feel convinced that it’s sustainable and it’ll be the last time. And when I overeat, it’s never happy overeating, I always feel guilty about it and try to will myself to get back on track but it’s hard. If there’s food around at home, I will overeat it.

I’ve gotten really into cycling, which I really love. I cycle to work each day, and go on longer trips at weekends. And I’ve kept that up, despite the diet side of things going off the rails.

But I know that a lot of people experience this yo-yo dieting. But I honestly just feel really hopeless that this is never going to change. I don’t want to battle with my eating my whole life like my parents have. But this has been my life for the last 6 years. There hasn’t been a time where I wasn’t trying to control my eating/weight - and I’m either being successful at it, or feeling bad that I can’t. Even as a little kid, I always had a propensity to overeat. That is my default.

Idk I’m just posting to hear whether other people think this is something that can actually change. I don’t want to battle my eating for the rest of my life. But I also refuse to let myself gain a significant amount of weight. Advice and others’ perspectives would be much appreciated.
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Replies

  • mfp2019jg
    mfp2019jg Posts: 6 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    Yo-yo dieting I'm certain is going to be a familiar tale for the vast majority of people here. I know it is for me. I've spent 25+ years going down a little then up a lot to get to the weight I was 18 months ago when I finally began to address my eating habits in a way that wasn't just a temporary measure.

    The difference this time. I decided that the reason I'd failed to sustain my weight loss in the past was that I was making it too hard on myself. I was setting myself impossible standards and restricting myself with too many rules. So I decided to simplify. I did this by boiling my efforts down to 1 basic rule.

    Rule: Most of the time eat fewer calories than I use.

    Didn't matter what I ate as long as most of the time I was eating fewer calories than I used.
    Didn't matter how much I exercised as long as most of the time I was eating few calories than I used
    Didn't matter if I went out for a huge banquet dinner, ate the snacks at the party, or smashed chocolate eggs at Easter as long as... most of the time I was eating fewer calories than I used.

    This changed everything. All of a sudden I was able to do what REALLY matters when it comes to losing weight (which is, as you probably guessed, most of the time eat fewer calories than I used) without all the pressure, restrictions, deprivations, guilt and denial that came with my previous attempts.

    I realised that weight loss becomes far easier to achieve when I stopped putting hurdles in my way, stopped making things more difficult for myself than they needed to be and just kept it stupidly simple.

    @Danp Thanks very much for the reply. I feel like I need an attitude that’s more like this. I always end up having way too rigid expectations of myself. So if I go over my limit sometimes, everything just crumbles and I’m always aiming to just restrict restrict restrict and make at least 1lb a week progress. I feel like a more relaxed attitude like this would help me make sustainable change. Any tips for not getting drawn into all the rules etc and maintaining this more relaxed attitude to it?

  • mfp2019jg
    mfp2019jg Posts: 6 Member
    Cahgetsfit wrote: »
    Malimalai wrote: »
    Try low carbs diet , 50 g to 100 g net carbs per day. The more you eat sugary foods and high carbs, the more you will crave these foods.

    Not necessarily. keto/low carb is not actually for everyone.

    I agree that less processed sugary stuff is good and personally when I do eat lots of processed sugary stuff I tend to want more of it, however, carbs in general, for me anyway, don't need to be restricted so low. I turn into a monster if I don't have my oats/bread/rice/etc


    @Cahgetsfit yes, I’m also one of those people who needs a decent amount of carbs, otherwise my mood absolutely plummets. But maybe I’ll try to go for more slow-release complex carbs and cut down on the simple refined carbs.
  • mfp2019jg
    mfp2019jg Posts: 6 Member
    Cahgetsfit wrote: »
    tends to happen if you deficit is too large to begin with. have you tried a slow and steady approach? Like a small deficit and when you get to a lower weight (be it your goal or close to it) you actually reverse out of the diet instead of just stop and go back to overeating?

    Also, diet breaks. very useful.

    Thanks @Cahgetsfit maybe this could be an issue. I think I probably try to aim to lose too much too quickly. Usually aim for 1lb a week loss. I think I feel anxious about aiming for less in case there are days where I go over, or in case my fitbit overestimates my calories burned from exercise, and then it’ll be easy to wipe out the deficit. But maybe I just need to give it a go. Because at the moment I’m stuck in this cycle of strict restriction and overeating. Any tips for maintaining a smaller deficit?

  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited July 2019
    Depends on why you yo-yo. In some cases, simply refocusing on your goals can help. For others, tweaks to the process are necessary. For others yet, it's more mental and personal reflection and/or therapy is needed.
  • kimondo666
    kimondo666 Posts: 194 Member
    don't be a tyrant to yourself with food, get a cheat day twice a month(eat at maintenance so you neither lose nor gain). Otherwise ya send torpedoes against tyrant.
  • kimondo666
    kimondo666 Posts: 194 Member
    too strict regime can be devastating.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Unless you really decide to make a change, history will repeat itself.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,970 Member
    mfp2019jg wrote: »
    Cahgetsfit wrote: »
    tends to happen if you deficit is too large to begin with. have you tried a slow and steady approach? Like a small deficit and when you get to a lower weight (be it your goal or close to it) you actually reverse out of the diet instead of just stop and go back to overeating?

    Also, diet breaks. very useful.

    Thanks @Cahgetsfit maybe this could be an issue. I think I probably try to aim to lose too much too quickly. Usually aim for 1lb a week loss. I think I feel anxious about aiming for less in case there are days where I go over, or in case my fitbit overestimates my calories burned from exercise, and then it’ll be easy to wipe out the deficit. But maybe I just need to give it a go. Because at the moment I’m stuck in this cycle of strict restriction and overeating. Any tips for maintaining a smaller deficit?

    When I started here 6 weeks ago, I chose 1200 calories for a 2 lb/week loss. I had trouble sticking to 1200. I was hungry. So, I upped to 1370 calories for a 1 lb/week loss. That's when the weight started dropping off, I'm no longer hungry and actually have leftover calories at the end of the day.

    Not sure if this helps.
  • GreyKnight120
    GreyKnight120 Posts: 60 Member
    edited July 2019
    I'd recommend tallying up CI and CO over a span of a week or a month. It's easy to get down on yourself if you "miss" a goal one day, but if you quickly get back on track you may find that the week (or month) is very often not that badly impacted by one or two bad days. You can still keep your focus on the goal while allowing some leniency, and still see results. Above all, be kind to yourself!

    [Edit to elaborate] - I don't do this all the time, but occasionally I log for myself in a spreadsheet my intake and burn over a biweekly span (and not just because I'm a huge nerd). I wish MFP had a feature that calculated cumulative CI+CO over a larger span of time than just a day, because I think that is really more meaningful information. Anyway, I have found that seeing that the numbers trending in the downward direction overall, even though there may be one or two bad days within that 14-day span, has allowed me to be a bit more lenient with myself as long as I quickly get back on track. I don't like the phrase "cheat day" because if such allowances are a part of your routine it isn't really cheating. YMMV of course. Some work better with the boot camp mentality and going full tilt, but I've found for myself that the higher the mountain the deeper the valley.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,668 Member
    I lost and regained the same 20-40 lbs over and over from the time I was 16 until I was in my mid-50s. Slowly my total weight trended upward. I would lose 20 and gain 25, over and over, ending up about 55 lbs overweight when I decided something had to change. For the past 5+ years my weight has been stable. I lost the weight I needed, plus a bit more and have kept it off. How?

    1: Exercise is a priority. I enjoy it, so I make sure I do it every day. It also allows me to eat a lot more than I would eat if I weren't exercising. 2: I cook most meals, so I know what I am eating. I love restaurant meals, but restrict them to once a week most of the time. When I do eat out, I pay attention to the calorie counts. I still get food I enjoy that I don't usually make for myself, but I do try to choose the less fattening options, most of the time. 3: I continue to log what I eat and the calories I burn with exercise so I know where I am regarding CICO. and 4: When I eat too many calories, for whatever reason, I don't worry about it. Each day is a new start. If I gain 1/2 lb. today, tomorrow I'll go back to eating more carefully and I'll start to lose it again.
  • mfp2019jg
    mfp2019jg Posts: 6 Member
    Funny...because this is demonstrating a point I just made on another thread where many keep insisting:
    "It's calories in and calories out...simple."

    Folks...it IS NOT that simple. Hence...it is a simple equation and a very complicated application.

    The point I'd been making is that for many people (not everyone-but many), tracking calories-particularly for those who are chronic dieters-can be counter-productive. It's fixating on the number and then feeling like a failure when you don't meet the "goal"...

    1.) Try to talk with someone such as a therapist about the underlying problems behind the eating pattern (remember: it's never just about food)
    2.) Maybe take a break from tracking so you don't become overly fixated?

    I agree about it not being as simple as calories in calories out and simply deciding to follow that. Fundamentally, yes it is calories in vs calories out. But the reality of it is that it’s so much more complex. There’be been times over the past 6 years where I’ve been more committed to losing weight than anything else in my life but that wasn’t enough to make a sustainable change, because the reality it’s more complicated than just making a simple decision to change. So many factors feed into your ability to do that.

    Maybe I’ll take a break from tracking for a little while and then have a go at eating at just a slight deficit, and trying to be less all or nothing about it all. I like the idea someone else suggested about tracking intake over the course of a month rather than just each day or week. I think that might help. Thanks for the advice.