My Parents Comment on my Weight

theatric_musician

My parents tell me I’m fat. I definitely have a bit of a belly but I’m only 155 lbs and I’m 5’5.5’’(I’m also 20) I’m a medium in most things and I like my body. (Minus the stomach)
My mom tells everyone I meet that I’m insecure and I hate it. I had an eating disorder in the past and I’m trying to do this the proper way this time but I’m struggling. Any tips?

glovepuppet

Other than telling them that they're doing the parenting thing wrong here? Sometimes talking helps, sometimes it just makes things worse. You need to judge that one for yourself though.

Parents are people. Flawed, annoying people. As a parent, I can say that there are topics where my opinions are probably worth diddly squat and my kids would prefer I STFU, but that's ok. It's not disrespectful of them to acknowledge my flaws. I know they love me.
I don't do social occasions with my own mother, because she comes out with stuff that makes me resent her, but if I keep my interactions with her on my terms we can get along really well. I visit regularly, but for short periods, and with an easy escape if she starts to grate. It was a rough road to get her to accept that, but it was worth it.

You're entitled to be peeved by their behaviour, even if they don't agree. Your feelings are valid and it's not selfish of you to protect yourself emotionally. You've already done something amazing by beating an eating disorder! That's an inner strength to be proud of. Don't let anyone make you doubt that.

elisa123gal

Everyone is flawed in this life. Be it a parent or a child. Just because a person is a "parent" doesn't make them perfect and all knowing. And just because a person is a "child" doesn't make them innocent in all things.

If your parents are abusive...calling you fat and insecure all the time. ... then move out as you are 20 years old ..and move on... there is really nothing much you can do but become your own adult person.

Nfedewa9442

I know it’s not right, but take that and use that as motivation. That’s what I’ve done with most of the negative things in my life. It’s hard to hear negative things that other people think, especially ones that love you. Best of luck and hey, you said you don’t like your stomach, work on it (I know I’m in the same boat).

puffbrat

It's time to set clear and firm boundaries with your parents. Stop talking to them about your weight, weight loss, diet, or anything else related. Refuse to engage if they bring it up. Even be willing to get up and leave if they continue to insist. And if your mom is telling other people you are insecure while you are standing there, cut her off and firmly state that topic is inappropriate and off limits.

LyndaBSS

Time for a heart to heart with your folks. They're doing the best they can. They're probably scared and trying to protect you but failing miserably. It happens to all of us, from time to time.

You sound like you're doing well. Help them help you. ❤

Jthanmyfitnesspal

People make mistakes, especially parents. But, we can all learn.

You can let your parents know: "Parents, I love you and appreciate all the things you have done for me. But, I can't enjoy being with you when you criticize me. Please concentrate on something else and let me be. I will return the favor."

Best of luck.

souschefsam

1) Move out and 2) just remember that no matter how heavy you are, you are still beautiful, so it doesn't matter how much you weigh. *hugs*

88olds

Try counseling. Not with them, but about how to cope. You’re in a difficult transition. Don’t let it get you down.

You’re right, they’re wrong. You’re not fat. Don’t let them talk you into that.