Petrified.

Rachallene

Hey all! Just looking for some kind of encouragement and support.

Tomorrow evening, I'm going to see the man I love for the first time in 1.5 years. The last time he saw me, I was 50 pounds lighter. I've lost shy of 10, but he didn't see me at 60 pounds heavier so he won't know that... I did tell him I'm bigger, but he played it off like he didn't believe me. He hasn't seen a picture of me in a long time, because I'm anal about them not being taken. He will get the full scope tomorrow; I'm petrified.

I'm feeling very negative and discouraged about my body. I know this won't be a deal breaker for him. I know he loves me. I know, I know, I know. But I also don't want to be a disappointment - I mean you can really build someone up in your mind in 1.5 years. I still want him to find me attractive. UGH. Help?

emmies_123

I have a lot of guy friends, and it always comes up that the attractiveness is in confidence, not just appearance. None of my friends have an "appearance type", but they all have preferences on personality. So wear your favorite outfit, look at yourself in the mirror, take a deep breath, and love what you see. You are you. You are what life has made of you to this date, every struggle and joy. You are strength and love and fun.

Sounds like your man already sees the beauty that is your soul, and I hope he helps you find comfort in yourself too.

Rachallene

emmies_123 wrote: »

I have a lot of guy friends, and it always comes up that the attractiveness is in confidence, not just appearance. None of my friends have an "appearance type", but they all have preferences on personality. So wear your favorite outfit, look at yourself in the mirror, take a deep breath, and love what you see. You are you. You are what life has made of you to this date, every struggle and joy. You are strength and love and fun.

Sounds like your man already sees the beauty that is your soul, and I hope he helps you find comfort in yourself too.

Thank you! I'm going to ask my sister which outfit I own that is the most flattering. I feel stupid for this, I just look so different than the girl he fell for 6 years ago. Gah. Deep breaths and positive thinking. ♥

maureenseel1984

Doll up your hair and makeup, wear the perfume you know he likes...wear a big smile and give him a massive hug and kiss when you see him.

My husband gained a significant amount of weight between when he left for his new job and when I got to visit him the first time (long distance relationship).

I was just so happy to see him that I hugged him and cried and didn't notice the weight...didn't notice anything really-ended up tripping and ripping my toenail off without even realizing it because I was so excited to see him.

emmies_123

So how did it go?

LyndaBSS

Inquiring minds want to know! ❤

Rachallene

It went well! He did give me a once over, but his gaze didn't linger on my fat or anything.. it just felt... appreciative? Besides, I gave him one, too. So I can't really judge. haha

Other than feeling just.. uncomfortable... for the first few minutes, I was eventually able to get out of my head and just enjoy being with him. I've been mulling it over and as I thought, nothing seems to have changed for him. He showed the same tenderness and affection he always has: lingering eye contact, sitting closer than he needed to so that we were in constant contact, hugs, etc.

I guess I just struggle with my body so much that I assume everyone else does, too, ya know? Anyway, I'm relieved. And oddly.. inspired. I want to get back to fit more than before, not out of guilt for what he'll think, but out of desire to feel like me again. Thanks so much for the support and for checking in!!

lauragreenbaum

He sounds like a keeper!

DW1Texas

If I may comment - be yourself whatever that is. If you want to lose weight or tone up etc do it for you and your health.

Doing it for someone else seems secondary to me - and honestly may be a good initial motivator but...down the road - just do it for yourself. Your belief in yourself will come through no matter who you interact with, no matter your "number" whether that is 60lbs higher or lower.

And if any guy is only interested in you for simply the way you look then its not the real deal. Get healthy for you and the rest will eventually fall in line.

No matter what happens, good luck with the guy sounds like the meeting went well. Stay positive.