Feeling old and unpretty

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bishopjulia
bishopjulia Posts: 205 Member
in Chit-Chat
On the 24th was my 36th Birthday. And today I feel old and ugly. I am losing weight at a really slow pace like snail slow, was 232 now 222. Yesterday I was in a store and two beautiful young ladies walked in, they where perfect in all the perfect places.... and there was dumpy short me. I felt so unpretty walking out of the store beside them at the same time. My husband sitting in the car and all that’s going through my mind is “why would he want me when he could have that?” Does anyone else feel the same. Do men feel this way sometimes. I don’t know... today is a blah day, maybe I can turn it around.
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Replies

  • sugarcakes38
    sugarcakes38 Posts: 80 Member
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    Oh wow is that you? You’re pretty high gorgeous, in fact never mind. I’m just gonna go back to my boiled eggs and exercise all my chins.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
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    I hope you can find your inner goddess. <3
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    yes, men feel that way too. they are too short, or soft, or have a muscle group they don't like, can't grow a beard, etc. they've had partners who've told them over and over again that such and such is wrong with them.
    they can get body dysmorphia just like a woman.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    you look pretty to me....

    *shrug
  • cayenne_007
    cayenne_007 Posts: 668 Member
    edited July 2019
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    maureenseel1984 wrote: »
    RunsWithBees wrote: »
    There will always be people that are younger, prettier and fitter than I will ever be. But also, I am younger, prettier and fitter than a lot of other people. That’s just life. It’s an unnecessary waste of your precious, limited time on this Earth to have to worry about comparing yourself to others, it’s a never-ending, futile waste of your energy. Instead, put that energy into being the best YOU you can be! <3 Pay attention to those that love and cherish you and love and cherish them back, they are the ones that matter the most.

    This.
    Whenever I get to comparing myself with others, I remind myself that someone else might be comparing themselves to me. Comparison is indeed the thief of joy. If we always have to be "better than" how can we ever just be happy being ourselves?

    I think everyone has those days. And I used to question myself a lot about why my husband would want me over someone else...then I remember all the STUFF we have together (not material but emotional)...the inside jokes...the memories...the L-O-V-E LOVE! Remember that marriage isn't just about looks and sex...I wanted someone to grow old with. Neither me or my husband look the way we did when we first met...or when we first got married...but every year we have more of that good stuff. Memories, experiences, heartache, joy...what makes life with another person so worthwhile.

    Comparison is indeed the thief of joy     - this is so very true. Don't torment yourself like that, it's not a competition. I miss the way I looked at 30, but I've grown a lot as a person and like myself better at 42. You're beautiful and comparing ourselves to other people is just a negative waste of time.

    The same things I hated about myself when I was younger, I've learned to mostly embrace because they make me unique.
  • lg013
    lg013 Posts: 215 Member
    edited July 2019
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    There are all different kinds of gorgeous out there...so comparing becomes so hard on ourselves. And everyone hates on their bodies at some point! I teach high school and it’s insane to me how much self-hate and comparison is going on with beautiful and healthy teenagers...Odd are those 22 year olds are also shaming themselves and wishing they had aspects of your body too (when I was young I was naturally thin as a rail...and man did I have low self esteem wishing I had boobs and a butt like other women!).

    Pick out things you love about your body and focus on them when you start to feel this way!
  • shunggie
    shunggie Posts: 1,036 Member
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    Age is one of those things that happens to everyone. When I see young attractive people I think of little time they will be that way and wish them the best with it. It's a stage in life I wouldn't go back to for anything. Those same women you were watching have their own insecurities you can't see. One's hair is too frizzy and the other is worried her right boob is a weird shape. You feel frumpy, old, tired... OK, we all feel that way sometimes, and those women you were jealous of will too someday. The key is to remember your own value and not worry about others. :)
  • lg013
    lg013 Posts: 215 Member
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    bishopjulia wrote: »
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    bishopjulia wrote: »
    I hope I can find my inner Goddess too! I used to have it , I lost it 😔 am trying. It’s not like everyday I feel poopy. There are days I feel like a sex kitten too. But lately I have lost a little of that kitten. I guess sometimes events in a persons life can cause low spells

    I can totally relate to this. And yeah I agree, life can change the way you feel/view yourself. I'm only 32 and I'm already planning on becoming a cougar! I know I'm not getting any younger, but I'm looking on the bright side, age brings wisdom and more experience so I'm gona use that to my advantage! You can buy a nice new lip gloss and be young and pretty, but ya can't buy experience 😋

    For the record I'm not looking to date younger men, but if a young pretty girl turns my man's head, I will be reminding myself that she ain't me, she a kitten, I'm a cougar hehe. Even if sometimes I need to fake it, it helps some. I also invested in some nice make up for myself and letting myself see myself as sexy instead of frumpy. I think a lot of it is just all in the mind.

    A few years ago I was thin and at my goal and felt invincible and swore I would never put the weight back on ... but things in life happened some of it very traumatic ... and here I am now. I feel wore out and tired and to be honest I’ve kind of lost myself. I used to love photography, playing dress up lol and combining the both. I agree with you about seeing myself as sexy instead as a grumpy frump. Fake it till I make it.

    Also I wish I could hug each and every one of you who have posted a comment🥰🥰🥰

    Girl, it’s hard to survive traumatic experiences and take care of yourself...but you survived it. You are a strong and powerful woman for doing that—and that’s fierce and sexy!

    And now you’re in a place where you understand how you got through that and that you need to start taking care of yourself and nurturing your inner back from all of that trauma too. So, focus on you and what you can do to help you Bc you are strong and amazing...no 22 year old could have handled your year ;)
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    edited July 2019
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    I don’t know if everyone feels this way, but I know I sure as hell do.

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