Apology from a Weight Loss Consultant
Shellz31
Posts: 214 Member
Really interesting and poignant. Someone may have already posted this, but it really caught my attention and made me pretty sad. Definitely worth a read. Here's a link and I copied it below. Just to clarify, I did not write this and am not claiming any rights.
http://www.yourfairyangel.com/1/post/2013/07/an-open-apology-to-all-of-my-weight-loss-clients.html
Dear Former Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are):
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry because I put you on a 1200 calorie diet and told you that was healthy. I’m sorry because when you were running 5x a week, I encouraged you to switch from a 1200 calorie diet to a 1500 calorie diet, instead of telling you that you should be eating a hell of a lot more than that. I’m sorry because you were breastfeeding and there’s no way eating those 1700 calories a day could have been enough for both you and your baby. I’m sorry because you were gluten intolerant and so desperate to lose weight that you didn’t put that on your intake form. But you mentioned it to me later, and I had no idea the damage you were doing to your body. I’m sorry because I think I should have known. I think I should have been educated better before I began to tell all of you what was right or wrong for your body.
I’m sorry because I made you feel like a failure and so you deliberately left a message after the center had closed, telling me you were quitting. I thought you were awesome and gorgeous, and I’m sorry because I never told you that. I’m sorry because you came in telling me you liked to eat organic and weren’t sure about all the chemicals in the food, and I made up some BS about how it was a “stepping stone.” I’m sorry because many of you had thyroid issues and the LAST thing you should have been doing was eating a gluten-filled, chemically-laden starvation diet. I’m sorry because by the time I stopped working there, I wouldn’t touch that food, yet I still sold it to you.
I’m sorry because it’s only years later that I realize just how unhealthy a 1200 calorie diet was. I stayed on a 1200-1500 calorie diet for years, so I have the proof in myself. Thyroid issues, mood swings, depression, headaches…oh and gluten intolerance that seemed to “kick in” after about a month of eating the pre-packaged food. Was it a coincidence? Maybe.
I’m sorry because you had body dysmorphic disorder, and it was so painful to hear the things you said about yourself. You looked like a model, and all of my other clients were intimidated by you, asked me why you were there because clearly you didn’t need to lose weight. And yet you would sit in my office and cry, appalled that a man might see you naked and be disturbed by the fat that didn’t actually exist. I’m sorry because you should have been seeing a therapist, not a weight loss consultant.
I’m sorry because you were young and so beautiful and only there because your mother thought you needed to lose weight. And because there were too many of you like that. Girls who knew you were fine, but whose mothers pushed that belief out of you until you thought like she did. Until you thought there was something wrong with you. And the one time I confronted your mother, you simply got switched to a different consultant. I think I should have made more of a stink, but I didn’t. I’m sorry because you were in high school and an athlete, and I pray that you weren’t screwed up by that 1500 calorie diet. Seriously, world? Seriously? A teenage girl walks in with no visible body fat and lots of muscle tone, tells you she’s a runner and is happy with her weight…but her mother says she’s fat and has to lose weight and so we help her do just that. As an individual, as women, as a company, hell, as a nation, we don’t stand up for that girl? What is wrong with us? There ain’t nothing right about that. Nothing.
I’m sorry because every time you ate something you “shouldn’t” or ate more than you “should,” I talked about “getting back on the bandwagon.” I cringe now every time someone uses that phrase. When did the way we eat become a bandwagon? When did everyone stop eating and become professional dieters? I’m sorry because I get it now. If you’re trying to starve your body by eating fewer calories than it needs, of course it’s going to fight back. I used to tell you that then, when you wanted to eat less than 1200 calories a day. The problem was, I thought 1200 was enough. I thought that was plenty to support a healthy body. Why did I believe that for so long? I’m sorry because I wasn’t trying to trick you or play games to get your money. I believed the lies we were fed as much as you did.
And it wasn’t just the company feeding them to me. It was the doctors and registered dietitians on the medical advisory board. It was the media and magazines confirming what I was telling my clients. A palm-sized portion of lean chicken with half a sweet potato and a salad was PLENTY. No matter that you had “cravings” afterward. Cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Yeah, sure they are. I’m a hypnotherapist with a past history of binge eating disorder. I KNOW cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Except when they’re not. Except when they’re a sign that your body needs more food and you’re ignoring it. Then they’re a sign that your 1200 calorie diet is horse****. Then they’re a sign that you’ve been played.
And that’s mostly why I’m sorry. Because I’ve been played for years, and so have you, and inadvertently, I fed into the lies you’ve been told your whole life. The lies that say that being healthy means nothing unless you are also thin. The lies that say that you are never enough, that your body is not a beautiful work of art, but rather a piece of clay to be molded by society’s norms until it becomes a certain type of sculpture. And even then, it is still a work in progress.
I owe you an apology, my former client and now friend, who I helped to lose too much weight. Who I watched gain the weight back, plus some. Because that’s what happens when you put someone on a 1200 calorie diet. But I didn’t know. If you’re reading this, then I want you to know that you have always been beautiful. And that all these fad diets are crap meant to screw with your metabolism so that you have to keep buying into them. I think now that I was a really good weight loss consultant. Because I did exactly what the company wanted (but would never dare say). I helped you lose weight and then gain it back, so that you thought we were the solution and you were the failure. You became a repeat client and we kept you in the game. I guess I did my job really well.
And now I wonder, did I do more harm than good? When I left, you all wrote me cards and sent me flowers. I still have those cards, the ones that tell me how much I helped you, how much I cared. But I’m friends with some of you on Facebook now, and I look at your photos and you look happy. And beautiful. And not because you lost weight since I saw you last. But because I see YOU now. You. Not a client sitting in my chair, asking for my assistance in becoming what society wants. But you, a smart and lovely woman, who really doesn’t need some random company telling her there’s something wrong with her.
So I’m sorry because when you walked in to get your meal plan, I should have told you that you were beautiful. I should have asked you how you FELT. Were you happy? Did you feel physically fit? Were you able to play with your kids? There were so many of you who never needed to lose a pound, and some of you who could have gained some. And maybe sometimes I told you that. But not enough. Not emphatically. Because it was my job to let you believe that making the scale go down was your top priority. And I did my job well.
I am sorry because many of you walked in healthy and walked out with disordered eating, disordered body image, and the feeling that you were a “failure.” None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed you. The weight loss company failed you. Our society is failing you.
Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It’s really just that. Nonsense.
http://www.yourfairyangel.com/1/post/2013/07/an-open-apology-to-all-of-my-weight-loss-clients.html
Dear Former Weight Loss Clients (you know who you are):
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry because I put you on a 1200 calorie diet and told you that was healthy. I’m sorry because when you were running 5x a week, I encouraged you to switch from a 1200 calorie diet to a 1500 calorie diet, instead of telling you that you should be eating a hell of a lot more than that. I’m sorry because you were breastfeeding and there’s no way eating those 1700 calories a day could have been enough for both you and your baby. I’m sorry because you were gluten intolerant and so desperate to lose weight that you didn’t put that on your intake form. But you mentioned it to me later, and I had no idea the damage you were doing to your body. I’m sorry because I think I should have known. I think I should have been educated better before I began to tell all of you what was right or wrong for your body.
I’m sorry because I made you feel like a failure and so you deliberately left a message after the center had closed, telling me you were quitting. I thought you were awesome and gorgeous, and I’m sorry because I never told you that. I’m sorry because you came in telling me you liked to eat organic and weren’t sure about all the chemicals in the food, and I made up some BS about how it was a “stepping stone.” I’m sorry because many of you had thyroid issues and the LAST thing you should have been doing was eating a gluten-filled, chemically-laden starvation diet. I’m sorry because by the time I stopped working there, I wouldn’t touch that food, yet I still sold it to you.
I’m sorry because it’s only years later that I realize just how unhealthy a 1200 calorie diet was. I stayed on a 1200-1500 calorie diet for years, so I have the proof in myself. Thyroid issues, mood swings, depression, headaches…oh and gluten intolerance that seemed to “kick in” after about a month of eating the pre-packaged food. Was it a coincidence? Maybe.
I’m sorry because you had body dysmorphic disorder, and it was so painful to hear the things you said about yourself. You looked like a model, and all of my other clients were intimidated by you, asked me why you were there because clearly you didn’t need to lose weight. And yet you would sit in my office and cry, appalled that a man might see you naked and be disturbed by the fat that didn’t actually exist. I’m sorry because you should have been seeing a therapist, not a weight loss consultant.
I’m sorry because you were young and so beautiful and only there because your mother thought you needed to lose weight. And because there were too many of you like that. Girls who knew you were fine, but whose mothers pushed that belief out of you until you thought like she did. Until you thought there was something wrong with you. And the one time I confronted your mother, you simply got switched to a different consultant. I think I should have made more of a stink, but I didn’t. I’m sorry because you were in high school and an athlete, and I pray that you weren’t screwed up by that 1500 calorie diet. Seriously, world? Seriously? A teenage girl walks in with no visible body fat and lots of muscle tone, tells you she’s a runner and is happy with her weight…but her mother says she’s fat and has to lose weight and so we help her do just that. As an individual, as women, as a company, hell, as a nation, we don’t stand up for that girl? What is wrong with us? There ain’t nothing right about that. Nothing.
I’m sorry because every time you ate something you “shouldn’t” or ate more than you “should,” I talked about “getting back on the bandwagon.” I cringe now every time someone uses that phrase. When did the way we eat become a bandwagon? When did everyone stop eating and become professional dieters? I’m sorry because I get it now. If you’re trying to starve your body by eating fewer calories than it needs, of course it’s going to fight back. I used to tell you that then, when you wanted to eat less than 1200 calories a day. The problem was, I thought 1200 was enough. I thought that was plenty to support a healthy body. Why did I believe that for so long? I’m sorry because I wasn’t trying to trick you or play games to get your money. I believed the lies we were fed as much as you did.
And it wasn’t just the company feeding them to me. It was the doctors and registered dietitians on the medical advisory board. It was the media and magazines confirming what I was telling my clients. A palm-sized portion of lean chicken with half a sweet potato and a salad was PLENTY. No matter that you had “cravings” afterward. Cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Yeah, sure they are. I’m a hypnotherapist with a past history of binge eating disorder. I KNOW cravings are a sign of underlying emotional issues. Except when they’re not. Except when they’re a sign that your body needs more food and you’re ignoring it. Then they’re a sign that your 1200 calorie diet is horse****. Then they’re a sign that you’ve been played.
And that’s mostly why I’m sorry. Because I’ve been played for years, and so have you, and inadvertently, I fed into the lies you’ve been told your whole life. The lies that say that being healthy means nothing unless you are also thin. The lies that say that you are never enough, that your body is not a beautiful work of art, but rather a piece of clay to be molded by society’s norms until it becomes a certain type of sculpture. And even then, it is still a work in progress.
I owe you an apology, my former client and now friend, who I helped to lose too much weight. Who I watched gain the weight back, plus some. Because that’s what happens when you put someone on a 1200 calorie diet. But I didn’t know. If you’re reading this, then I want you to know that you have always been beautiful. And that all these fad diets are crap meant to screw with your metabolism so that you have to keep buying into them. I think now that I was a really good weight loss consultant. Because I did exactly what the company wanted (but would never dare say). I helped you lose weight and then gain it back, so that you thought we were the solution and you were the failure. You became a repeat client and we kept you in the game. I guess I did my job really well.
And now I wonder, did I do more harm than good? When I left, you all wrote me cards and sent me flowers. I still have those cards, the ones that tell me how much I helped you, how much I cared. But I’m friends with some of you on Facebook now, and I look at your photos and you look happy. And beautiful. And not because you lost weight since I saw you last. But because I see YOU now. You. Not a client sitting in my chair, asking for my assistance in becoming what society wants. But you, a smart and lovely woman, who really doesn’t need some random company telling her there’s something wrong with her.
So I’m sorry because when you walked in to get your meal plan, I should have told you that you were beautiful. I should have asked you how you FELT. Were you happy? Did you feel physically fit? Were you able to play with your kids? There were so many of you who never needed to lose a pound, and some of you who could have gained some. And maybe sometimes I told you that. But not enough. Not emphatically. Because it was my job to let you believe that making the scale go down was your top priority. And I did my job well.
I am sorry because many of you walked in healthy and walked out with disordered eating, disordered body image, and the feeling that you were a “failure.” None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed you. The weight loss company failed you. Our society is failing you.
Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It’s really just that. Nonsense.
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Replies
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You are right, this is very sad. From the same blog:
"My new program came out of a challenge from my 30 Day Anti-Diet Challenge (now called Breaking the Chrysalis). As is always the case, I did each challenge right along with the group, and when I wrote in my journal that day, I knew that this was not something I was supposed to keep to myself. I knew I had to develop it into a program to help other women who were in the same place I had been. And so I've been working on it quietly since then, developing the guided meditation recordings, going back and forth on exactly how the program would work best, and refining ideas during my morning meditations.
Well, my beautiful butterflies? This program is ready to take flight. It's an ongoing program (i.e. you can start anytime as long as I'm running it), and I'll begin working with my first clients the week of September 15th. You can read on below for all the details, including what I believe are the 4 core spiritual components of emotional eating in women, and how to apply if want to reserve a spot to begin in September. "
So, I was wrong before, but now I am right so sign up here.0 -
Wow, that's powerful.
I think I'm going to write an apology letter to my body for starving it, feeding it crap, not appreciating it and finding fault with it no matter what weight or level of fitness.
I'm going to make amends to my body starting right now.
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!0 -
You are right, this is very sad. From the same blog:
"My new program came out of a challenge from my 30 Day Anti-Diet Challenge (now called Breaking the Chrysalis). As is always the case, I did each challenge right along with the group, and when I wrote in my journal that day, I knew that this was not something I was supposed to keep to myself. I knew I had to develop it into a program to help other women who were in the same place I had been. And so I've been working on it quietly since then, developing the guided meditation recordings, going back and forth on exactly how the program would work best, and refining ideas during my morning meditations.
Well, my beautiful butterflies? This program is ready to take flight. It's an ongoing program (i.e. you can start anytime as long as I'm running it), and I'll begin working with my first clients the week of September 15th. You can read on below for all the details, including what I believe are the 4 core spiritual components of emotional eating in women, and how to apply if want to reserve a spot to begin in September. "
So, I was wrong before, but now I am right so sign up here.
NO WAY not going to sign up with anyone online, if I sign up it's with a person that I can see in front of me. A person who is accountable and very much physically present.0 -
Boo hoo!
"Sorry" is about right.
Jesus, want to lose weight? Eat a bit less, move a bit more.
Why people need "experts" to tell them what they deep-down already know, I'll never get.0 -
Wow, that's powerful.
I think I'm going to write an apology letter to my body for starving it, feeding it crap, not appreciating it and finding fault with it no matter what weight or level of fitness.
I'm going to make amends to my body starting right now.
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!
Love this! Totes agree!0 -
You are right, this is very sad. From the same blog:
"My new program came out of a challenge from my 30 Day Anti-Diet Challenge (now called Breaking the Chrysalis). As is always the case, I did each challenge right along with the group, and when I wrote in my journal that day, I knew that this was not something I was supposed to keep to myself. I knew I had to develop it into a program to help other women who were in the same place I had been. And so I've been working on it quietly since then, developing the guided meditation recordings, going back and forth on exactly how the program would work best, and refining ideas during my morning meditations.
Well, my beautiful butterflies? This program is ready to take flight. It's an ongoing program (i.e. you can start anytime as long as I'm running it), and I'll begin working with my first clients the week of September 15th. You can read on below for all the details, including what I believe are the 4 core spiritual components of emotional eating in women, and how to apply if want to reserve a spot to begin in September. "
So, I was wrong before, but now I am right so sign up here.
Ha, I didn't even read past the apology letter. Too bad, it seemed so sincere...0 -
Lovely letter, a shame it really just seems like an advert for her current business, old way bad, new way good, only consistency is her earning money I guess. Still thanks for sharing the first part was nice to read, OP posted all we needed
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"So, I was wrong before, but now I am right so sign up here." Makes you think doesn't it .... seems like this person has now set up her own business putting right all the damage she alleges that she inadvertently caused previously :ohwell: .... sounds a little like a good sales pitch to me :huh:0
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Oh dear, it gets worse! From the site:
"$97 or invite a friend for a Soul Sister Discount of $109.
Registration is closed. Please sign up for my newsletter so that you'll know when the next round starts.
Questions? Let's talk it out.
Will it really take only 20 minutes a day?
That's the idea! Of course, sometimes you might get so caught up in what you're doing that you want to spend more time. But I've done each challenge and 20 minutes is enough time to get through each one.
What type of file are the audio recordings?
I'll put the recordings on a private page here that you'll have access to, so all you'll have to do is press the play button. However, if you prefer an mp3 that you can download to your phone (or elsewhere), you can e-mail me directly and I'll be happy to send it to you."
A hundred bucks for some mp3 files. Crikey.0 -
A previous poster said - "Why people need "experts" to tell them what they deep-down already know, I'll never get."
[/quote]
It's not so much that people need experts to tell them what they deep-down know already ..... it is more a case that they want to be accountable to someone else and/or hold someone else accountable for their own weight loss. The best way to lose weight is to take accountability for yourself ... if you want it then eat it - but know what you are eating and the effect it will have on you and your healthy eating plan .... exercise some for the sake of your good health and there you have it. I will put the bill in the post :bigsmile: :laugh:0 -
But you're not sorry about being paid $1800 a month to tell me this? :huh:0
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If she meant it the new thing would be free and people donate if they felt like it.0
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So, I was wrong before, but now I am right so sign up here.
LOL!! At least the apology letter makes a point, even if it is a sales pitch.0 -
Geez. Turned what seemed like an honest and sincere apology turns out to be just another sales pitch.
She does address some glaring issues about weight consultants or registered dieticians. Pretty much everyone can be one just by completing some very pedestrian testing.0 -
Pretty obvious with the drama............marketing 1010
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But wait... that person is a professional!!! He must know what hes talkin' about hes qualified....
IM SMILING AGAIN)) 0 -
Yes. I am trying to adopt the mentality of just eating normal and exercising normal and not obsessing. I count calories, because if i dont i get anxious that ate too much. Mfp gives me support as i make food choices. I still eat lower than i should. This post is very loooonnggg and needs to be simplified. Also, those who are nutritionists or dietary counselors, weight loss consultants, should have a strong background in psychology. Food is so tightly tied to emotions in many ways. when diagnosed with ed, i wanted to see a nutritionist not a therapist and i thank my obgyn for recommending therapy and i thank my mom for pushing me into it. I couldnt acknowledge my issue completely and needed a kick in the butt to start digging deep. i really enjoyedreading this consultant's acknowledgement of the errors made.0
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Sorry my comment is so incoherant. My thoughts were all over the place!0
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That could have been written by a consultant at the " doctor approved, metabolic weight loss" clinic I once used. All they taught me was how to become an anorexic. Worthless apology when it became a sales pitch.0
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Only half way through but wow... bump to read later0
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The industry promoting dieting is pretty sad sometimes. Thank you for sharing this.0
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Wow............agree with others about the 2nd post.
I'm sorry your letter followed by the sales pitch made your apology seem less than sincere.0
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