exhausted by the ups and downs

tiriks1984

Hi everyone

I am here to seek some advice as to how I can stop the constant yo- yoing cycle of losing weight only to regain it. I am 35 yrs old, and have lost and gained 15 to 30 kgs about 6 times throughout my life. A friend once told me that I will never lose weight and keep it off without the help of therapy, however I am skeptical. I dont feel like I had childhood issues that have caused me to struggle with my weight.

I have previously lost weight admittedley through over restriction, cutting out food groups and wanting to see fast weight loss. I know this is not the healthy way to go, it seems I need to readjust my expectations and get a lot more patience.

I really, really need this to be the last time I lose this weight, and I think that is why I am currently scared to jump all in and go for it- for fear of gaining it all back again after so much hard work.

Can anyone else relate? And how did you change your mindset and just let go and trust the process?

Hannahwalksfar

Therapy isn’t just about dealing with childhood issues or trauma but rather getting to the crux of what’s stopping you from succeeding in an area and teaching you methods and skills to overcome this. If you have a history and are already feeling anxious over it then therapy may be an option. If you feel you really don’t need one then employing a personal trainer and dietician may be worthwhile to keep you on track

tiriks1984

I appreciate your reply, thank you. Yes perhaps you are correct, it has been a life long problem and maybe its time I took a look at myself on a deeper level, instead of just applying band-aids on a bigger issue. I do have a fair bit of anxiety around food, especially when dieting- I hate to think of how social settings etc can derail my efforts and it's extremely difficult. I have a real all or nothing attitude- its either restricting or binging for months on end. I just wonder how on earth people find that happy sweet spot in the middle you know?

Hannahwalksfar

Close friends have had the same issue. They said cbt really helped. Best of luck to you.

missysippy930

Over 80% of people that lose weight, gain it back within 5 years, some gaining even more weight, no matter how the weight is lost, or the program that they followed. You are definitely not alone. I’m hoping that for me, sustainability, through moderation and portion control,will be key to keeping the weight off this time. For me, there were no childhood, adulthood, or any other psychological issues to blame. I love food, and consume too many calories, plain and simple. It’s not easy.
{{{tiriks1984}}}

tiriks1984

Thank you missysippy, no it is not easy at all.
I just wish my gains were only small ones, not 20kgs. I have been reading up and researching on ways to maintain once the weight is lost, something I never really was aware of. So hopefully, armed with more knowledge this time I will be more in control and aware when I approach goal weight. Best of luck to you x

alliums

I've had the same trouble. I've had an MFP account for a long time. Tried ALL kinds of wacky things. Now I'm just doing CICO - calories in, calories out. And using MFP for real. Not eating back exercise calories, and just sticking to the plan. This is my longest period of sticking with it. And I feel different about weight maintenance now. (not weight loss, but maintenance forever.)

Think of yourself starting on maintenance now.

I found this video really inspiring and helpful. "National Weight Control Registry: Common Behaviors in Weight Maintenance"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kNcaESoDng

tiriks1984

alliums wrote: »

I've had the same trouble. I've had an MFP account for a long time. Tried ALL kinds of wacky things. Now I'm just doing CICO - calories in, calories out. And using MFP for real. Not eating back exercise calories, and just sticking to the plan. This is my longest period of sticking with it. And I feel different about weight maintenance now. (not weight loss, but maintenance forever.)

Think of yourself starting on maintenance now.

I found this video really inspiring and helpful. "National Weight Control Registry: Common Behaviors in Weight Maintenance"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kNcaESoDng

Thanks so much for forwarding that on, I appreciate it.

Phirrgus

tiriks1984 wrote: »

I appreciate your reply, thank you. Yes perhaps you are correct, it has been a life long problem and maybe its time I took a look at myself on a deeper level, instead of just applying band-aids on a bigger issue. I do have a fair bit of anxiety around food, especially when dieting- I hate to think of how social settings etc can derail my efforts and it's extremely difficult. I have a real all or nothing attitude- its either restricting or binging for months on end. I just wonder how on earth people find that happy sweet spot in the middle you know?

I think if we knew everyone we thought had a happy sweet spot we would find they have their ups and downs too. A large part of what works for me is that I've allowed myself to just simply enjoy life, food and all. Food isn't my enemy, fitness takes effort, and everyone slips up at one point or another. I give myself permission to be human each day, which means I can be a doofus sometimes and not beat myself up over it lol. And move on to the next day.

So many of us are so fortunate as to have the abundance of food we have, and the sweet tasty stuff is just too good to not enjoy. So enjoy the blessings and have some fun.

Strudders67

I find that pre-logging for that day or the next day helps a lot, even if it's just an educated estimate as to how much of each veg / protein will go in to my stirfry or thinking about what/how much veg I'll have with a piece of salmon later that night. I can then see how many calories I have left (hopefully) for a biscuit or cake or whatever it is that happens to have been brought in to the office that day.

I still eat the same things as before, but less than what I would have had previously. Also, not losing the weight too quickly and seeing how many calories certain meals have, what makes me feel fuller with the fewest calories etc is helping me prepare for long-term maintenance.

I've often read on here about people restricting too much - and then bingeing. By going slowly and also still eating foods that I actually like, I'm managing to avoid doing that. It's also not as hard as restricting myself too much, cutting out entire food groups etc.

This forum has been a huge help too. I've learned a lot from people who have lost a lot of weight and/or been in maintenance for a long time.

tiriks1984

Wonderdul advice Strudders, thank you for your insight

kshama2001

tiriks1984 wrote: »

I appreciate your reply, thank you. Yes perhaps you are correct, it has been a life long problem and maybe its time I took a look at myself on a deeper level, instead of just applying band-aids on a bigger issue. I do have a fair bit of anxiety around food, especially when dieting- I hate to think of how social settings etc can derail my efforts and it's extremely difficult. I have a real all or nothing attitude- its either restricting or binging for months on end. I just wonder how on earth people find that happy sweet spot in the middle you know?

This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so perhaps yours as well.

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)

HoneyBadger302

Echoing a lot of the advice you've already gotten, agree with much of what is said.

I think it's important, too, to recognize that there's not really an "end" - if you think of it as something to complete, then when you get there, well, the work is done! But that's not the case. It's a life long choice, and maintenance is even more work in that you don't get "rewards" (like seeing the scale drop or going down a clothing size) for the work anymore.

It's kind of like your career - it doesn't really "end" (at least not for a very, very long time).