ANOREXIA ALMOST KILLED ME.

bibiferra

my recent journey into recovery has been one the proudest, most difficult accomplishment of my life. the hardest part was recognizing that i had a problem. it was only when i fainted while exercising that i became fully aware of the power and control this condition had over my life and me. it wasn’t until my weight started to dip alarmingly that anyone around me recognized i had a battle on my hands: anorexia. seeing the weight going down on the scale, my whole body getting thinner and people pointing out how tiny i was becoming was addicting. i was already thin before being on what i called a ‘strict diet’ so people didn’t think of me as one of those success stories where someone who’s obese becomes thin, people saw that i was dying. i had a very distorted image of myself and there was no real moment when my recovery began or when i could magically shut off the voice in my head, it’s been more of a journey. after recovering from anorexia i developed compulsive overeating disorder, but that’s another story. of course i don’t have my dream body yet, and that’s ok. i am now beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds, sometimes in smiles. i am proud of discovering who i am through my struggle, and my greatest hope is that others will never have to work through an eating disorder to discover who they are.
[first pic is june 2018, second pic is july 2019]

pdxddd

Beautifully said . I wish you health and happiness!

Emmapatterson1729

I can understand. After years of anorexia and obsessive exercising disorder (and constant yoyo dieting), I ended up with congestive heart failure... Which led to over 100 lb weight gain in less than two months (water weight from heart enlarging and slowing down). The instant weight gain deformed my body.

Became an compulsive over-eater...

Years to develop a healthy relationship with food and exercise. Still deal with extreme distorted image. And can't own a scale... Threw it away to focus on feeling healthy and fit versus what I weigh.

It's definitely a journey of healing. Way to go!! When I see the signs of anorexia, I always want to tell young girls to eat and not spend their youth obsessing over weight, size and looks.

Rebekkah8719

I am in the boat with you... thank~you for sharing, and you look strong & healthy! 🙂

quiksylver296

You do indeed look strong and healthy!

LyndaBSS

❤

Emmapatterson1729

Anyone have any insight into the distorted self image? It's something I have that I do not understand. I don't understand how my own eyes seem to lie to me when looking in the mirror.

FireyChimera

Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »

Anyone have any insight into the distorted self image? It's something I have that I do not understand. I don't understand how my own eyes seem to lie to me when looking in the mirror.

Apparently I see myself as bigger than I am. Often I will look in different mirrors and see different bodies. The bathroom mirror makes me feel fat and awful, and the office mirror I look "okay". (Not good, I have crap for self esteem) If you want to talk about it, you can add me and message me. I have been dealing with the tricky mirror thing for years.

Emmapatterson1729

cuteangelkitten wrote: »

Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »

Anyone have any insight into the distorted self image? It's something I have that I do not understand. I don't understand how my own eyes seem to lie to me when looking in the mirror.

Apparently I see myself as bigger than I am. Often I will look in different mirrors and see different bodies. The bathroom mirror makes me feel fat and awful, and the office mirror I look "okay". (Not good, I have crap for self esteem) If you want to talk about it, you can add me and message me. I have been dealing with the tricky mirror thing for years.

I've dealt with this most of my life. I can take pictures for a realistic image... But mirrors are a no-go. And same, different sizes in different reflections.

It's been 20 years since my heart failure from anorexia, but still to this day have distorted self image.

Was wondering if anyone knows anything about the psychology behind it?