Finally got my boyfriend on board!

LAnne16

I would never nag him about his weight or lack of exercise or terrible eating habits, as I had many similar ones myself lol!
But I would ask him if he wanted to join me on walks/runs, and I would eat better around him etc

And he actually opened up to me about his self-esteem and how he wants to change. I think the fact that I'm out exercising for an hour or two before I see him has finally taken an effect.

He talked about how he wants to be able to shop at stores other than Old Navy, which is pretty much the only place he can get clothes. He loves running and wants to get back into it and lift weights and get back to where he was in highschool; all sporty and ****. He wants to believe me when I tell how attracted I am to him. But he also recognizes that he has zero willpower when it comes to food.

I'm so glad I can now talk to him about this stuff without seeming like a *****.
I mentioned to him how he might enjoy the IIFYM kind of lifestyle, if that was the way he wanted to go. But just minor adjustments to his life would improve things. More veggies, only get ONE burger at Wendy's etc.

So I guess my question is this:
How can I continue to support him as he starts this with me? I want him to have what he wants, but I don't want to be naggy. Do I just leave him be and let him ask me questions when they come up? Or do I make small suggestions about our everyday lives?

RichardFL

Ask if he set a goal for himself for the week. Not a weight loss goal, but a goal like "eat veggies at least 3 times this week" or "exercise at least 2 hours this week" or whatever. If he says no, just share a mini-goal you set for yourself and maybe ask him to support you in reaching it. From then on, just share your own mini-goal each week and ask for his support. He will probably come up with some mini-goals of his own and share them, so just support him whenever he does. Just make sure you're not trying to make your goals his goals too.

The above isn't necessarily what you need to do exactly, just kind of describing the concept of how you can get a guy to open up on his own by just sharing about yourself. That's the style that works on me since pushy or demanding would just cause me to pack my bags. It plays on my desire to be the man making the decisions, and it also lets me appreciate how important the girl was in helping me reach that decision. If your guy isn't like that, don't take my advice

LAnne16

Nah that pretty much sounds just like him :P Which is how I kind of recognize that pushing him is just gonna piss him off haha.

That's a good idea, though A lot of my goals are totally different than his so that's fine haha. He has no desire to enter races or do Tough Mudder with me. That's totally fine, as long as he's happy

Thanks for the advice, sounds spot on.

taunto

So I guess my question is this:
How can I continue to support him as he starts this with me? I want him to have what he wants, but I don't want to be naggy. Do I just leave him be and let him ask me questions when they come up? Or do I make small suggestions about our everyday lives?

Realize that just because YOU are on a diet and need to eat low cal, low fat etc foods, he will do the same. Realize that he might bring in "bad for you" foods (which really aren't but thats a different debate) and it is ok for you to either have some or explain to him before hand that a no from you once should be the end of him offering (bonus points if you can explain it to him in a loving way).

The very MAIN thing for him to do in the start is to try and be within his calorie range. He can do it any way he wants. Eating KFC, ice cream, cheetos, veggies, lean meats. ANY WAY HE WANTS. As long as he is under the calories set by MFP. That is the start that will take him further than anything else. He will obviously feel fuller by eating more veggies and "healthier" foods compared to cheetos and ice cream but many people get off the track with too much dietary restrictions. So suggest to him to keep about 20% of his calories for naughty foods and the rest for healthy more nutritious foods.

Try to keep the menu interesting. Both of you. Don't be boring with your foods. You can have LOTS of foods that are high in flavor and low in calories. Explore other cultural cuisines. They can often be cheap on the pockets too. Try out lentils and beans. They're a protein and nutrition factory. Combine with veggies and spices you have complete and nutritious meals for like 500 calories tops. Theres lots of other foods like these!

Tippers30

Good for him in at least opening up about it & the first step to a new "you" is recognizing the need for change! ~~I offer this advise, lead by example and open up to him about how excited you are for yourself and the progress you make! That is a way of making him think about himself while not feeling like your "pushy" with it!

Talk yourself up, ask him, stuff like, hey wondering if you can see any changes on me? (of course hopefully he'll respond yes!) Simple things like that. IDK if you guys live together or what, but even if you go out to dinner.....lead by example, water or a diet sodie and order from the low cal menus. just like i said.... LEAD BY EXAMPLE! :-) toodles.....

excitedaboutfitness

My boyfriend also finally got on board with getting healthier!

I have been encouraging him by doing the following:

1. If it looks like he is losing weight, mention it! Congratulate him, and ask how much he has lost. Talk about any new muscle definition you notice.

2. I've been cooking healthy breakfasts and dinner for my BF. Egg white omelettes with spinach (I can trick him into eating a cup of spinach with breakfast!) For dinners, I have been making him chicken breasts with different vegetables.

3. Any time I go for a snack of fruits or vegetables, I offer to get him some from the kitchen too. He usually says no, but he has been saying yes more and more often.

lorenzovonmatterhorn7549

It makes it a lot easier when both of you are on board. I hear so many people talk about their S.O. tearing them down instead of encouraging them.