Self Sabotage

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JordanS9592
JordanS9592 Posts: 94 Member
edited August 2019 in Motivation and Support
Confession time. In my comfort zone, I am lazy, and I eat like a ravenous beast. After losing 14 pounds, I gave myself “permission” to eat whatever I wanted for a day on Sunday. This was stupid for me, because this is how I blew it the last time I lost 60 pounds and gained it all back. I can see the cycle repeating itself, as this week, it has been exceedingly harder to say no to the foods that make me gain weight. Case in point, I went over my calories yesterday by 2000, and skipped working out for the first time in over a month. I can already feel a layer of fat growing from the binge yesterday. These are the most discouraging times for me, and the hardest to overcome. I’m grateful to have this community for support I didn’t have before. I make no excuses. I take full blame for my own failure. Now I want to move forward. Any words of encouragement or advice are greatly appreciated.
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  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,067 Member
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    So...maybe...just maybe your daily calorie goal is too low.

    That's what causes me to overeat, so maybe go back in and rework your calories. If you eat a bit more all week you may not have that big of an Over Day.

    With that said, I have a day or two every week when I eat 1000 over and it hasn't led to weight gain. I do know that after many years of tracking, though. One day won't make you gain weight.
  • JordanS9592
    JordanS9592 Posts: 94 Member
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    @cmriverside I appreciate that, but what I’m saying is I usually turn one day into every day quickly. I’m trying to turn it around this time before it gets out of hand. My calorie goal is not too low, as I lose about 2 pounds per week at 328 pounds with an intense 6 day exercise regimen.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,067 Member
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    Oh, okay. All or nothing is a problem and I get that.

    It's hard to be at a calorie deficit for a continuous period of time and it's not in your head. Have you read the first couple pages of the Refeed thread? I think it would help you.

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1

    The other thing is that over eating can increase appetite over the next day if you let it.

  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,069 Member
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    kimny72 wrote: »
    JordanS9592 wrote: »
    Confession time. In my comfort zone, I am lazy, and I eat like a ravenous beast. After losing 14 pounds, I gave myself “permission” to eat whatever I wanted for a day on Sunday. This was stupid for me, because this is how I blew it the last time I lost 60 pounds and gained it all back. I can see the cycle repeating itself, as this week, it has been exceedingly harder to say no to the foods that make me gain weight. Case in point, I went over my calories yesterday by 2000, and skipped working out for the first time in over a month. I can already feel a layer of fat growing from the binge yesterday. These are the most discouraging times for me, and the hardest to overcome. I’m grateful to have this community for support I didn’t have before. I make no excuses. I take full blame for my own failure. Now I want to move forward. Any words of encouragement or advice are greatly appreciated.

    There is not a layer of fat growing from your binge. An extra 2000 calories on one day, held against the deficits you had for the rest of the week, probably still has you in a deficit for the week. All you will gain is perhaps some temporary water weight or digestive bulk that will slowly fade.

    I second what @cmriverside suggests, if you are aiming for the fastest pace possible, and yo-yo dieting is a pattern for you, perhaps you should consider a slower rate of loss that allows you more satisfying meals every day and less need to worry about will power.

    Also, next time don't give yourself permission to eat whatever you want. Give yourself permission to eat to a certain calorie level. Maybe something to allow you a bit more volume or an extra indulgent treat that simply rarely fits in any calorie plan. Maintain control, just loosen the reigns.

    Hang in there...

    Quoted for Truth.

    Big Picture is important:

    Normal way of eating:

    M 1000 cal deficit
    T 1000 cal deficit
    W 1000 cal deficit
    T 1000 cal deficit
    F 1000 cal deficit
    S 1000 cal deficit
    S 1000 cal deficit

    = 7000 cal deficit

    This week

    M 1000 cal deficit
    T 1000 cal surplus
    W 1000 cal deficit
    T 1000 cal deficit
    F 1000 cal deficit
    S 1000 cal deficit
    S 1000 cal deficit

    = 6000 cal deficit

    3500 cals = approx 1lb of fat

    So in theory you'd lose 1.7lbs instead of 2lbs.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
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    The fact that you acknowledged what happened to yourself and us is a good thing. You also have great insight as to what your past behavior has been. That's major, Jordan.

    You got this! 😀
  • JordanS9592
    JordanS9592 Posts: 94 Member
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    @LyndaBSS I always enjoy your encouragement
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,067 Member
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    JordanS9592 wrote: »
    @cmriverside Wow, I have never heard of diet breaks before. Perhaps I should consider taking one to avoid what has happened to me in the past. I could adjust my goal to weight maintenance for one week on the app, then switch back after one week. This could help with keeping this going for a lifetime.

    Just so you know...whenever I did it, it was difficult to go back to the deficit. My body and mind didn't like it at all. So there's that.

    Even these days, 11 years into Maintenance, if I have a couple big eating days in a row it can take quite a bit of discipline to go back to maintenance calories. The body is amazingly good at saying, "Feed. Me."
  • RelCanonical
    RelCanonical Posts: 3,882 Member
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    I have gone through the same situation as you. One day of "eat anything" completely derailed me and I gained all of my weight back, and quickly. One thing that's helped me is unlimited maintenance days. When I feel like having a treat, I can have something small that puts me at maintenance, and I can basically go into a deficit again when I up for it. This allows me to have the things I want without feeling like I'm under pressure to "stay on track", while at the same time not derailing my goals. For me, maintaining is moving forwards because it is practice for maintenance.
  • JordanS9592
    JordanS9592 Posts: 94 Member
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    @cmriverside What do you think I should do? I already messed up this morning, eating two saisage egg and cheese bagels, and two hostess pastries. I still have a thousand calories to spare. If you were me, given my history, how would you proceed?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    JordanS9592 wrote: »
    @cmriverside What do you think I should do? I already messed up this morning, eating two saisage egg and cheese bagels, and two hostess pastries. I still have a thousand calories to spare. If you were me, given my history, how would you proceed?

    Did you log it? I assume you did, since you have 1000 calories left. If not, go log it now.

    Commit to logging everything, no skipping, cheating or forgetting, for a week or two. Don't even worry about what you are eating or the calorie amount. Just log what you are eating. Then, after a week or so, look back over your food log. What foods weren't worth it? Either they didn't taste that great or didn't keep you full long or whatever. Start subbing those foods out with something that better helps you meet your goals. Keep logging, and review your diary weekly, and make those tweaks. Eventually you'll find a sweet spot.

    Read this thread, too. It's gold.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,067 Member
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    JordanS9592 wrote: »
    @cmriverside What do you think I should do? I already messed up this morning, eating two saisage egg and cheese bagels, and two hostess pastries. I still have a thousand calories to spare. If you were me, given my history, how would you proceed?

    Yeah, Jordan I agree with quicksylver, log everything and stop beating yourself up!

    The sausage egg and cheese bagels were a good breakfast choice.

    Log it, and start planning the rest of your day. Can you have a light lunch and then protein and vegetables for supper? The day is long. Take a walk. If you go over, so be it. I think it's important to learn from every single thing that happens.

    Tomorrow try planning ahead!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited August 2019
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    cmriverside wrote: »
    JordanS9592 wrote: »
    @cmriverside What do you think I should do? I already messed up this morning, eating two saisage egg and cheese bagels, and two hostess pastries. I still have a thousand calories to spare. If you were me, given my history, how would you proceed?

    Yeah, Jordan I agree with quicksylver, log everything and stop beating yourself up!

    The sausage egg and cheese bagels were a good breakfast choice.

    Log it, and start planning the rest of your day. Can you have a light lunch and then protein and vegetables for supper? The day is long. Take a walk. If you go over, so be it. I think it's important to learn from every single thing that happens.

    Tomorrow try planning ahead!

    Good point.

    @JordanS9592 - I pre-log my entire food day before breakfast. I pack my breakfast, lunch and snacks for work and usually have a good idea what dinner and dessert (I plan a dessert into every day. Life without dessert isn't worth living. :D Usually it's a little chocolate or ice cream.) will be. So I log it all. Then if someone brings cookies or doughnuts or something to work, I can look at my diary and see how or if I can make it fit. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. Sometimes I can't and still eat it anyway - not often, but once in awhile.

    ETA: And another thought! Do you know what your maintenance calories are? If you don't, find out. Knowing my maintenance calorie limit did a lot for my peace of mind. When I'm losing, I'm generally shooting for about 1800 calories. But my maintenance calories is about 2300. So, if I go over 1800 once in awhile, no big deal!
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
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    [quote
    ETA: And another thought! Do you know what your maintenance calories are? If you don't, find out. Knowing my maintenance calorie limit did a lot for my peace of mind. When I'm losing, I'm generally shooting for about 1800 calories. But my maintenance calories is about 2300. So, if I go over 1800 once in awhile, no big deal![/quote]

    This. It is really beneficial to know what your maintenance calories are. Then you can plan a 'maintenance day' ahead of time, or when the need arises. When I do go over my calorie deficit, I feel so much more in control when I manage it, stay within my maintenance calories and don't just go whole hog and throw in the towel. And I call it a 'maintenance day', not a 'cheat day'. Don't like that phrase.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,069 Member
    edited August 2019
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    JordanS9592 wrote: »
    @cmriverside What do you think I should do? I already messed up this morning, eating two saisage egg and cheese bagels, and two hostess pastries. I still have a thousand calories to spare. If you were me, given my history, how would you proceed?

    Break the cycle, work on more positive mentality.
    cwkcnfchtu0s.jpg

    This is pretty much how my regain happened

    The only parts of the cycle I can control is my response to emotional/stressful situations so I'm learning to cope using tools other than reaching for the fridge and forgiving myself if I slip up.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    Balance in all things lead to sanity and peace of mind. ...In every aspect of life.

    so you weigh 328 pounds exercise like crazy...binge like crazy.. on..off..on ..off..rinse repeat.

    You need to change your approach. How about exercise less. How about eat ONE meal off a week. Not one day off a week. Be honest with yourself. See what makes you fail and take the roadblock out of your life and put something in its place that helps you achieve your fitness goals.

    You are not powerless..this is 100 percent in your control. Start making changes you can live with and succeed with. You can do this!
  • GU0679T
    GU0679T Posts: 4 Member
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    I found inspiration reading this. I maintain my weight but would like to lose. I'm going to try pre logging food. Seemed to be fun when I did it previously. Would find I need extra calories at end of day. I would eat it hour before bed. Probably not good

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