Motivation destroyed

adamjamerobinson8906

I've been dieting now since February 2019 and up until last month I'd lost just over 4stone, my starting weight was 24st 2lbs and I had got to 18st 6lbs, I was so proud of myself getting to that level, but in the last month I've had gone on holiday and I've got married and for some reason, I cannot seem to get back on track I don't know whether my motivation is gone I do still want to lose weight I know I've gained roughly about a stone and a half in the last month I still do want to lose weight I just don't know how to get back on track I don't know how to re motivate myself I'm truly struggling I think it's because I had a goal was to lose as much weight as I possibly could before I got married and now I'm married there's no longer a goal I really don't know I really need some help if anyone has any form of advice it would be very much appreciated.
Thanks

tweekedgirl

Hey Adam,

Firstly congratulations on your weight loss so far.

If goals are what motivate you, then can you find new ones? Are you planning on going on holiday, or have a nice night out coming up? Alternatively, you could create your own fitness related goals. Sign yourself up for a 10km walk/run and try and get a friend involved to help keep you on track.

willsundaydnd

I can relate--I have been married twice and each time I gained weight right after marriage. It just may be that with married life comes a change in schedule and lots more responsibility, more home life, possibly more regular meals. Give it some time to settle down, enjoy this time a bit, and then refocus on losing weight again if that is a priority. You priority may also shift be to be a healthy weight, which could be slightly heavier than your ideal "perfect" weight.

88olds

Sorry but no one can answer this for you. You need your own reason why. And the nagging voice in our heads isn’t much help for some reason. Nagging isn’t a substitute for actual motivation.

But this- motivation is limited. It’s what gets us started. It is not endless the source of enthusiasm that a lot of people are looking for.

So congratulations on your marriage. Maybe just a dose of reality from someone older- if you don’t start eating within some reasonable limits the lbs will keep adding up. Given enough time just 100 extra calories per day will get you gains of about 10 lbs per year. And that process will continue until you change it. Just how it is. Personally I think of the problem as this- Mother Nature didn’t expect there to be this much food.

And as the years add up, the bad stuff will start to happen. Bad back, bad knees, sore feet, sleep apnea, HBP, diabetes, heart trouble.... It’s all out there just waiting for you. It’s real. And you can avoid it with some reasonable limits. Really.

Last- sustained weight loss is not a short term project. The strategies that got you to a short term goal likely won’t help a lot in the long run. Calculate a modest calorie deficit, start a food that you keep through good days and bad, problem solve and adjust as needed and never quit. It takes time and persistence but it works.

MikePTY

It seems pretty clear why you lost your motivation: You were losing weight for a specific event (your wedding), now that wedding has passed, and so you don't have a goal that is motivating you anymore. While only you can decide what your new motivation will be, I can suggest one: Now that you are married, your goal should be living and long, healthy, and happy life with your wife. Severe obesity significantly raises the chances that the life you two spend together will be cut unnecessarily short by health problems, and the life you do spend together will not be the same quality of life it could be if you lose the weight. As a married man myself, that is what motivates me in my weight loss, and perhaps it can do the same to you.

adamjamerobinson8906

Thanks for the responses, it nice to have that kind of support, my wife is always supportive but she has the "I'll love you no matter your size" which is a beautiful sentiment but for the fact of me living a long life with her won't give me the determination I need although, although as you said, loving a long and happy life with my wife and watching my kids grow up is all the reason I need, I think with all the hype and stress that came with prepping the wedding and having the reception at our home and also a holiday 2weeks prior, i just caved to my temptations, I think now instead of having 1000-1200kcal a day which I was doing I'm just going for a clean 1500kcal a day and just increase my daily walking goal to 10,000 steps, anyway thank you again everyone for the kind words and kick up the *kitten* to get my head back into the game, I'll post in a month and with luck I'll lose what I've gained

k8eekins

adamjamerobinson8906 wrote: »

Thanks for the responses, it nice to have that kind of support, my wife is always supportive but she has the "I'll love you no matter your size" which is a beautiful sentiment but for the fact of me living a long life with her won't give me the determination I need although, although as you said, loving a long and happy life with my wife and watching my kids grow up is all the reason I need, I think with all the hype and stress that came with prepping the wedding and having the reception at our home and also a holiday 2weeks prior, i just caved to my temptations, I think now instead of having 1000-1200kcal a day which I was doing I'm just going for a clean 1500kcal a day and just increase my daily walking goal to 10,000 steps, anyway thank you again everyone for the kind words and kick up the *kitten* to get my head back into the game, I'll post in a month and with luck I'll lose what I've gained

Was just about to reply to your original post Adam, until I read your latest reply. Firstly, congratulations to you and your supportive wife, excited for you both, with how you're steadfast with the pursuit of your health and fitness goals. It is obvious from having read all the responses, you can now commit to your programme.

Nfedewa9442

Good luck man! We’ve all been there. Up and down. This place is great. Congrats on the wedding as well

NovusDies

adamjamerobinson8906 wrote: »

Thanks for the responses, it nice to have that kind of support, my wife is always supportive but she has the "I'll love you no matter your size" which is a beautiful sentiment but for the fact of me living a long life with her won't give me the determination I need although, although as you said, loving a long and happy life with my wife and watching my kids grow up is all the reason I need, I think with all the hype and stress that came with prepping the wedding and having the reception at our home and also a holiday 2weeks prior, i just caved to my temptations, I think now instead of having 1000-1200kcal a day which I was doing I'm just going for a clean 1500kcal a day and just increase my daily walking goal to 10,000 steps, anyway thank you again everyone for the kind words and kick up the *kitten* to get my head back into the game, I'll post in a month and with luck I'll lose what I've gained

No No No.

If you were eating 1000-1200 calories per day it is no wonder why you are not motivated to return to it. It was too little. The bare minimum you should be eating is 1500 calories as a man and that is if you are COMPLETELY sedentary.

Try going for an appropriate calorie for yourself and you may find you need far less motivation. Put your stats in MFP and choose active if you are going to be getting that many steps. In a month check and make sure you are not losing too fast and adjust your calories as needed.

pro31wahine

Congrats on your journey and marriage!

Whenever you're at a plateau, change your approach. Diet and/or exercise...change something.

Shock your body and nothing worth it comes easy. Find a motivating reason.

Good luck on your journey!

(Btw I need to tell myself the same thing daily)

adamjamerobinson8906

Hi everyone, just wanted to update you, I've weighed-in today first time in over a month, and after the months of struggling and bad eating, I have been able to get back on track resuming my diet as of Monday gone and I've lost 2lbs!!! I'm well happy with the scales! Keeping my new goals in my mind as a reminder, so again I want to thank everyone that gave me advice and support when I needed it, you've all helped me, so cheers!