Why I do carnivore keto- confessions of a binge eater

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apriltrainer
apriltrainer Posts: 732 Member
in Motivation and Support
Lunch time at work is treacherous for me. I cannot go one day without someone commenting on my "weird food choices" i.e. I am carnivore keto. And whether or not you are opposed to that way of eating, it's strict rules actually help me focus and I have not binged in over 6 months.

Deep in my food addiction and binge days i would eat upwards of 5000 to 10000 cals a day. I would typically have an episode of 3 days to a week each month, sometimes longer. One of the things i ate nightly were 3 to 4 cans of frosting in one sitting. At almost 2,000 cals a can plus my regular meals, it was easy to get that many calories.

This is why i have strict rules about what i eat and when i eat. Not bc i need to be rail thin..but bc food addiction and binge eating have harmed the quality of my life. Do not tell me to eat in moderation. For a binge eater...that signal did not turn on for me. I cannot binge on liver, beef or eggs. And eating those things helps. But i damn well do on cakes or something like cereal or oatmeal where i have eaten the whole box. A loaf of challah bread from Corner Bakery with a full jar of honey. An entire goddamn loaf.

I initially did keto to get my weight down after a med. I never expected it to help my binge eating behavior. But it did. Sometimes i feel i am not taken seriously bc i am thin. And for years i hid my binge eating behavior by doing excessive cardio. But do not doubt..i had a serious problem. And im sick of ppl telling me to have just " one more bite". Would you tell a recovering alcoholic " just one more sip" or a heroin addict "heroin in moderation". No! I have an EATING disorder. Just bc i am thin does NOT mean i am CURED.

Do not mock the way i eat. It was not funny then, it is not funny now. Or diss keto bc it's a "fad". Right now, it is one of the few things that ever worked. I still go to therapy and groups but never did i get better. I just had more ppl to commisserate with. When i ate in moderation i still binged. When i was told to get in touch with my feelings, i still binged.

How i eat now is working for me and i intend to one day be like my bf who is nearing his 1 yr anniversary for being sober from alcohol on Sept 1st. I intend to make it to Feb 13th, a year free from binging. yae676xzc2f4.jpg

Replies

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    I'm glad you found what works for you! Well done!
  • RelCanonical
    RelCanonical Posts: 3,882 Member
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    It's great that you recognized what works best for you. For me, restriction is what caused my binge eating.
  • Slowfaster
    Slowfaster Posts: 185 Member
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    Very inspiring, April. I too am an abstainer rather than a moderator. Don't ask me to eat one cookie, what torture!

    I respect that there are people who rebel against rules, but I ask them to respect that I enjoy the safety within certain rules along with the freedom to make those rules for myself.

    I'm currently trying to deal with my own binge eating behavior by learning different responses to certain triggers. While working on that I also have to recognize that control is impossible for me when sugar is involved.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    At the end of the day, each person has to figure out what works for them. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to weight management.

    The only time I get my back up is when someone insists that their way is the only way, or ascribes magical properties/benefits to their method that simply aren't true. :)

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