Distorted body image while obese

Pamela_Sue
Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Lately I have realized that I have a distorted body image. Nothing serious like body dysmorphia, but that I don't recognize how obese I truly am. For example:

Recently, I have been noticing how straight and narrow my hips are and have been quite pleased about it. I carry almost zero excess weight on my hips and outer thighs (inner thighs are huge). But I used to have a curvy shape, so I couldn't understand how my hips could have become so narrow with such a straight body shape. Finally, I am realizing that my hips have NOT shrunk. No, my mid-section has become so large that it extends out beyond my hip line, giving my body this straight up and down appearance.

Also, I would look at myself in the bathroom mirror and think about how nice my face was looking since I have lost 30 pounds. But last week I took a couple selfies, which I rarely do. I was a bit shocked to see this large double chin, and very puffy cheeks and jowls. Stunned, really as that is not how I see myself.

How does this happen? Convincing myself that I am not as obese as I truly am, that I am close to looking 'normal'. Very odd how our brain plays tricks on us. I always thought this happened to people reaching normal weight, that they would continue to see themselves as fat. It never occurred to me that the opposite could be true, that a person wouldn't see how obese they really are. Coming to grips with the extent of my obesity is an eye opener.

It made me realize my expectations are skewed. I am 5 pounds away from moving from Class 3 Obese into Class 2 Obese, at which point I thought that I would almost be looking decent. So now I am looking towards reaching Class 1 Obese before seeing significant changes in my appearance. That is another 25 pounds away.

I have lost 30 pounds since February and realizing that I need to lose another 25 pounds to see some significant changes is a tad unsettling. It has also made me question my entire thoughts about what my 'normal' weight should be. I am large-boned and always convinced myself that I am the rare exception who falls outside the upper weight range for ‘normal’ weight. I will have to ponder that one further.

Well, I best get to work taking off those next 25 pounds! Onward and downward!

Replies

  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I am the same I always see myself as slimmer than I am in the mirror.

    Like you say not body dysmorphia but a slight disconnect between how I see myself and how I actually look. I have dresses that I think I look amazing in but when I see a picture of myself wearing them it shows where I need to lose more weight.

    Our brains have a way of playing tricks with us. I think it is a comparison thing. When you look in the mirror you are usually on your own and therefore have no other people to give you scale. If you were standing next to someone of normal healthy bodyweight it would be quite clear that you are larger and where you still need to lose from.

    I have lost around 38lb this past year and my legs are not too bad but my middle has not really changed that much, maybe an inch or two at most and I still need to lose another 30lbs to get to a healthy weight range. So measurements, scale and pictures are all tools to help you judge your weight without your brain interfering and twisting what your eyes are seeing.

    Just keep doing what you are doing, lose the weight in a slow sustainable manner and assess as you go. Once you get to your happy weight/size you will know. Good luck.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,457 Member
    Your brain plays tricks coming and going. I was obese but did flow yoga four or five times a week for years. I convinced myself I carried it well, and that everything was at least tight.

    It wasn’t. I see pictures of myself now and am confused how I could have thought that, and how on earth I could have thought I looked good in leggings.

    On the flip side, I’m now in the middle-normal BMI range and have built up muscular thighs, calves, arms and back. When I look at myself in the mirror, though, I see none of these. I see....a soft squishy paunch that I can grab with two hands and twist into neat figure eight shapes.

    The same brain that gifted me with “weight blindness” now torments me with “weight laser” that focuses on the bad.

    I guess, in general, we just need to have the grace to accept ourselves as we are, and not brood on it morning noon and night.

    It’s a tough thing, but sincerely makes us (me, anyway) stronger.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited September 2019
    Pamela_Sue wrote: »
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    I would be most aware of my obesity when I would go to the hair salon. There's always that huge mirror that you're sitting in front of. I would notice my double chin and just how large my legs were when sitting. Enlightening and disturbing at the same time. 😞

    Oh, SO true! I sit in that chair with that ugly cape around me and see myself with my slender stylist standing next to me. Plus my hair is wet and plastered to my head. I generally feel worse leaving than I did going in. Glad I am not alone.

    Ditto to all of the above. I actually used this as fuel to see some real changes every 6-7 weeks. When I don't, it makes me work harder. That enormous floor to ceiling mirror tells no lies. I have a very fit stylist who tells me to stop pulling those faces but I can't help it.
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    Years ago I was walking with my sis and I asked my daughter who was standing behind us - who was bigger. She sheepisly said I was. I thought she was. I have lost 100 lbs. I cannot see really, really see that, yes, I am smaller but even though I can look at pictures of me heavier, and it wasn't that long ago, I can't remember me that huge/big. I see myself now so fat and hanging skin and I have been struggling with gaining/losing the same 25 lbs since January. I feel terrible about myself. I guess I feel the same as when I was 287. Now I am 187. My lowest was 175 maybe 10 months ago. I did feel thinner then but now because my clothes are all tight, it makes me see all my bulges and I feel really fat. I even had to buy some bigger tops now. So maybe I never saw really saw myself as being morbidly obese. I just gave away a size 26/28 bathing suit and am now in an 18. I guess my problem is a terrible self-image of myself. I wonder how I will feel about my size if I can lose the last 60 some oddd pounds.
  • smal48
    smal48 Posts: 102 Member
    It is so strange how our brains distort what our eyes are really seeing. For myself i tend to see everything with a hypercritical eye and only focus on the bits I hate - I look so fat to myself despite my clothes size and weight on the scale saying otherwise, but I was looking at photos of my eldest son when he was a six month old baby the other day and I couldn’t believe how chunky he was - I always viewed him as being a really skinny baby, but in reality he was a big fat bubba with huge thighs! It’s disconcerting how we can see things so differently from how they really are, and how it can be distorted in different ways depending on the situation.

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