No one notices :(

teemix1
teemix1 Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been up and down on my weight since I hit puberty at age 9 (yeah I know lucky me). 6 years ago over a period of 2 years I managed to lose 112 pounds (270 to 158) and was feeling amazing. But of course just like I have always done I gained almost all of it back over the last 3 years back up to 240 (have to say though this is the first time I didnt gain back more than I was orginally). So back in May I really got on track and started losing again, so far I have lost 30 pounds but I am frustrated that no one notices. No one says you are doing good, you are looking better or anything at all. You would think from 240-210 someone would notice, they sure as heck noticed when I was gaining back my lost weight, I got comments all the time like, you better watch it you are getting heavier and gaining back what you lost.
I am frustrated too that I am not wearing a smaller size, I know I have lost some...I can see it but I have always heard that for every 10 pounds you lose its like one size down, so I have lost 30 so I should be down 3 sizes, yet I still cannot fit into my next size down jeans. They are the same brand, same style and even color that I am wearing now only a size down but they are still too tight to wear, I would be cut in half if I tried to sit.
Any of you had that frustration that no one notices or says things. I understand not saying negative things like you are fat or you are getting fatter, but to say you look thinner is always welcome....Just frustrated, but will keep going as I have about another 80-85 pounds to lose. Hoping I will get there and hopefully when I do I will figure out a way to stay there.
good luck everyone in your health endeavors, I hope you have much success.

Replies

  • MarcyMavin
    MarcyMavin Posts: 142 Member
    I had a 240-210 and no one noticed. I barely noticed. I didn’t even drop a size in clothing, current sizes just fit less snug. Hang in there, people will notice, but don’t do it for what they’ll say , do it for you. Comments on how you look might get old fast and you’ll be singing a different tune.
  • oceangirl99
    oceangirl99 Posts: 161 Member
    Great work on the loss! I had to lose about 40lbs (from my highest of 217) before people started saying something. I'm ~55 lbs down and have gone from a size 14-16 to a 10. Perhaps your pants were on the tight side to start with???? People probably notice/wonder, but if they aren't 100% sure they won't want to mention it, for fear of embarrassing you if they are wrong. Also, not everybody thinks it is appropriate to compliment somebody's weight loss. Many people on MFP prefer no comments. I recall having this exact same thought when I was at a 30lb loss and then suddenly, everybody seemed to notice.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Go easy on yourself, you are making progress. Some people just don't say, others don't want to say anything - don't let people not commenting bother you, you are doing this for you. Wishing you all the best.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    teemix1 wrote: »
    I have been up and down on my weight since I hit puberty at age 9 (yeah I know lucky me). 6 years ago over a period of 2 years I managed to lose 112 pounds (270 to 158) and was feeling amazing. But of course just like I have always done I gained almost all of it back over the last 3 years back up to 240 (have to say though this is the first time I didnt gain back more than I was orginally). So back in May I really got on track and started losing again, so far I have lost 30 pounds but I am frustrated that no one notices. No one says you are doing good, you are looking better or anything at all. You would think from 240-210 someone would notice, they sure as heck noticed when I was gaining back my lost weight, I got comments all the time like, you better watch it you are getting heavier and gaining back what you lost.
    I am frustrated too that I am not wearing a smaller size, I know I have lost some...I can see it but I have always heard that for every 10 pounds you lose its like one size down, so I have lost 30 so I should be down 3 sizes, yet I still cannot fit into my next size down jeans. They are the same brand, same style and even color that I am wearing now only a size down but they are still too tight to wear, I would be cut in half if I tried to sit.
    Any of you had that frustration that no one notices or says things. I understand not saying negative things like you are fat or you are getting fatter, but to say you look thinner is always welcome....Just frustrated, but will keep going as I have about another 80-85 pounds to lose. Hoping I will get there and hopefully when I do I will figure out a way to stay there.
    good luck everyone in your health endeavors, I hope you have much success.

    Frankly, going from 158 back to 240 is going to be a lot more noticeable to people than going from 240 down to 210.

    When I was gaining weight, nobody really said anything until I was over 200 Lbs...or even 210 Lbs all the way to 220. Once I started hitting 210...215...220 is when people were like woe...you're really putting on weight. Nobody really noticed or said anything when I was losing until I was below 200. Really, from 220 - 200 it was hard to tell because most of my loss was in my extremities...so if someone wasn't paying attention to my finger size or my arm size, it wasn't particularly noticeable. from 220-190 I lost a lot in my face and my gut started going down and that's when people noticed. 190-180 was night and day.
  • EmBeatie
    EmBeatie Posts: 33 Member
    I hadn't seen my brother for a few months. Notice anything? I said. Er.... new haircut? No! I've lost 50 pounds. Oh, now you mention it... :D As you say, family are quick to notice when you've put it on. Tbf to my bro, he's the type that if I had a skinhead and wore a dayglo pink jumpsuit he probably wouldn't say anything. :D It's true it took me ages to notice the difference in my appearance myself, as it's so gradual. That's why before and after photos are good, that way you really notice. But as I started dieting for my health rather than my appearance, feeling better is all I need as motivation, rather than compliments.
  • Jackie9003
    Jackie9003 Posts: 1,116 Member
    I've lost 70lbs and 3 sizes and nobody has said anything either, but I've lost it proportionally, still look fat and have the same again to lose.
    Also I've been wearing the same clothes as they were stretchy and they still fit, so I suppose to people I see everyday I don't really look different.

    It is frustrating but it'll come and one day people will notice, in the mean time take some progress pictures and keep trying on those jeans because you're doing well and one day they will it fit.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    When I went from my heaviest of 307 down to 270, no one said anything except my mom. Granted, it happened very slowly over several years. But I felt so much better and different losing that 37 lb.

    Even though I've since lost 100 more pounds, that was still my biggest victory in weight loss.

    Try to focus on your own goals and don't worry about what other people say or don't say. I am 100% sure you look different and better.
  • RelCanonical
    RelCanonical Posts: 3,882 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    The difference in inches between sizes is greater in larger sizes. Don't be discouraged! I'm sure they fit differently/better.

    I know for myself personally, I was refusing to go up another size and wearing clothes that really didn't fit me properly in the beginning, so it took even longer to size down. As I moved into smaller sizes, it definitely went faster - to the point I missed a size entirely along the way

    This is me too! I was a size 14 for way longer than I should have been whilst gaining weight. That's what my size was for a long time before life changes (college, moving out, jobs) caused a lot of gain, but denial is strong in this one. Clothes that "fit", I never would have purchased at that size because it would have been far too tight. I was also terrified of sizing out of straight sizes, as at my highest, I was right on the edge and could only fit into "forgiving" XLs and XXLs. I didn't buy clothes much at that time because of that denial.

    It took me 30 pounds to get "back" to a 14, but "only" another 25 to drop all the way down to a 6-8.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    Sorry to hear. Regaining is HARD! what happened to throw you off your goals. Recognize it... change it! RESIST AND BITE!
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
    My weight stats are similar to your own. I have also lost 30 pounds. And not a peep out of anyone. Crickets. I am thinking I may need to lose another 20 pounds or so before anyone notices. I am also still wearing the same size, although a bit looser, but not ready to go down a size yet. So to others, I am still basically the same size. Totally agree with another poster, take progress photos for yourself.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I hate it when people notice so I may be helping to ruin it for people who like it. I also hate (this happened yesterday) when a person tries to convince me that I should be proud of myself for getting past the 2/3 mark toward some sort of goal weight. I am not wired that way. I am pleased when I hit a milestone but it is not in my nature to be proud of a job only partly done.

    I would prefer to be left alone to do my thing. I am not motivated externally and I find it intrusive. My own wife doesn't cheer me on because she knows better.

    My way is not right or wrong it is just how I am. Other people like me have made it a minefield for well-wishers to navigate.
  • teemix1
    teemix1 Posts: 18 Member
    thanks everyone, you all make some great points, I have to remind myself I am doing this for me.
  • cbstewart88
    cbstewart88 Posts: 453 Member
    I think sometimes in this uber-PC world, many people are wary about making comments about others' physical appearance. Is it sexual harassment? Some version of fat-shaming? And who knows what else? Keep plugging away and soldier on. In the end, it's just you and your body anyway....
  • Sadie2PointOh
    Sadie2PointOh Posts: 34 Member
    If the people you are surrounded with are the type have previously commented all the time that
    "You better watch it you are getting heavier and gaining back what you lost"
    Then perhaps it's not a stretch to consider the possibility that they are the type who are more outspoken when it comes to saying negative things to others vs positive things.

    Or, perhaps since you mentioned that you have been up and down with your weight since you are 9 they have become accustomed to the weight fluctuations as normal vs something different or unexpected to comment on? Though that theory wouldn't account for their making comments when you most recently regained, so I'm leaning more towards my first assumption.

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