I think my sister has an ED problem

scootinalong

Bear with me, this is long.

My one sister has always been on the larger side, as in needing to lose at least 100 lbs. When she would go on a diet, it was always these fad diets and she would cut her calorie intake to an extremely low lever. Which, of course, ending up being more than she could sustain and she would fall off the wagon.
She has always loved her soda and sweets and was very conscious of giving people the *appearance* that she did not eat very much and her weight was all genetics - beyond her control

One habit she started years ago was to ensure she ate very little at meals in front of co-workers and friends. Then eventually someone would say "You really don't eat that much do you". To respond to this, she would have this well rehearse response, "no, I do not. People always assume heavy people eat a lot. I eat less than the average person but weigh more. Heredity is a Bi@#". What she would NOT tell people is that in between meals, she would scarf down on her candy and soda. She always had the large bags of M&M's in her bag and ate lots of goodies between meals.

Eventually, it got to where she would start doing the same thing in front of family. Intentionally eating small meals in front of us and always making sure she made comments to ensure we realised how little she ate compared to what we were eating.

Skip down the road several years to day. Now she has been complaining that she cannot eat very much at all during meals and gets nauseous when she eats more than a few bits (even tho the snacking part has not changed). Her need to ensure we know this has gotten worse. For example. Her and I went to a restaurant and decided to split a meal. When the meal arrived, I split the item into equal halves and put on our plates. She very irritably stated "No, you DO NOT UNDERSTAND! I cannot eat very much" and proceeded to scoop about a third more of her plate onto my plate.

She has now gone to several doctors and received many different medical treatments to help resolve her nausea when she eats, yet nothing can be found to resolve it. Now the nausea has spread to after her meals and she has (for the first time ever) cut down on the sweets she eats between meals. She has now started to lose weight.

However, I am very hesitant to say anything about her weight loss, I'm thinking this will contribute to her problem. I personally, think she needs to see a good psychiatrist to resolve the issues that are causing her physical symptoms.

HefferSprint

I know someone who is always talking about how little she eats. Her husband is always talking about how healthy she eats. Yet she's been overweight forever. She lost weight on an extreme low cal diet, and now is regaining the weight she lost. And again, they are back to talking about her weight like she's some freak of science whose uphill battle is different than anyone else's.

She refuses to exercise, they eat out all the time and who knows what she really eats. I really don't care. I am not the one she needs to convince. It is weird when the focus of conversation is often on the same thing over and over, when you know it's not true. I wish her the best health wise, but if she's eating ding dong's for lunch, that's her business. I just get worn down from the attempt to prove to me that she does everything right, and somehow can not succeed. Makes me want to say something too, like "Ever thought about going to the gym?".

Guessing it's some sort of self-defense mechanism, so whether you say anything or not is up to you. My guess is that it wouldn't be well received.

scootinalong

Yes, that is my feeling. Any response from me that does not support *her* view would just make her made. You sound like you know someone similar. The "healthy" eating statement she makes a lot also. Whenever she would have convos with her doc on her weight and they would say "you need to eat this way", she would say "I'm already doing all that. You can eat any healthier than I do". And like you say, she does little to no exercise.

I just get tired of it being a constant topic she is always bringing up.

MyJourney1960

Yes, that is my feeling. Any response from me that does not support *her* view would just make her made. You sound like you know someone similar. The "healthy" eating statement she makes a lot also. Whenever she would have convos with her doc on her weight and they would say "you need to eat this way", she would say "I'm already doing all that. You can eat any healthier than I do". And like you say, she does little to no exercise.

I just get tired of it being a constant topic she is always bringing up.

stop engaging. you don't HAVE TO talk about it. just because she brings it up doesn't mean you ahve to respond.

she says "i do't know what's wrong, i am eating so healthy".
You say "yes, you said that. so did you see the latest [whatever] movie?"
or you say "I don't want to talk about this." and change the subject.

HefferSprint

I always hear how she eats organic. Organic has zero to do with calories. And they talk about how she always makes good choices in restaurants, grilled chicken, vegetables, salads, fish. I think if she actually found out the calorie count in the food she eats out, she'd be amazed. I ate a salad at a restaurant last week, and it was 600 calories. Just hard to lose weight when a person eats out all the time.

I'm like you, I get sick of it being the topic too. Lots of people struggle with weight loss. I do too. I don't care to hear other people's excuses for why they are fat, and aren't capable of losing it. Everybody is capable. Don't want to make changes? That's a personal choice. Just don't waste my time trying to convince me that they have. Gets old.

scootinalong

Yes, that is my feeling. Any response from me that does not support *her* view would just make her made. You sound like you know someone similar. The "healthy" eating statement she makes a lot also. Whenever she would have convos with her doc on her weight and they would say "you need to eat this way", she would say "I'm already doing all that. You can eat any healthier than I do". And like you say, she does little to no exercise.

I just get tired of it being a constant topic she is always bringing up.

stop engaging. you don't HAVE TO talk about it. just because she brings it up doesn't mean you ahve to respond.

she says "i do't know what's wrong, i am eating so healthy".
You say "yes, you said that. so did you see the latest [whatever] movie?"
or you say "I don't want to talk about this." and change the subject.

This is actually what we try to do, but there are times when she will complain that "nobody seems to care about her problems.."