I really need you to tell me there is hope, because I'm losing motivation and on the verge of giving up.
I fought overweight my entire life but mostly in my head with doing very little to actually change things, and just watching the weight piling up. A few years back I pulled myself together and managed to lose almost 20 kg which got me into the "overweight" BMI level. This was almost purely on diet, not the healthiest ways and I stopped myself when I started seeing that I'm hurting my body. I managed to maintain more then half of it with periods of going up and down about 3-5 kg with having some irregular physical activity involved mostly for the calories intake.
About March this year I decided this is not working for me, I was too tired and not eating enough. I refocused on weight maintenance and physical strength instead. I steal eat mostly healthy but I skip the portion control and calorie counting. Instead I started training quit regularly with aerobics light training of 1-2 sessions a week of gym/class/pool and active on most weekends (hikes, long bike tours, long walks, city explorations, etc). I see improvements, my weight doesn't seem to flactuate too much so I am probably within limits and I keep saying to myself that it doesn't matter how the others are doing as long as I'm getting better.
But it breaks my heart at times. More then half a year of regular training(after a couple years of on and off training) and I always finish last. I'm the last is the local running group, I'm always being overtaken in the pool, I'm the annoying last person on the hike that everyone needs to wait for while she hafs and pafs her way up, I need to take a break every hill on a bike tour, hell I even finish last in go-carting and that is not even a sport! I never expected to be first, I understand some of the people out their spent their entire life training and are by far more disciplined then me, but how hard can it be to reach the average Joe that skips the gym more then he/she go to it? Or at least not to be the absolute last in all? Can it be that most of the population trained their entire life? Or maybe most of those who bother to do anything at all? I find myself giving up common activities simply because I am embarrassed, and when I don't I often come back home completely devastated and in tears. It doesn't help that I don't appear too overweight (I'm tall) so people are actually surprised when I just can't do it.
I don't know how to deal with all of this besides going back to my comfort zone doing non physical activities where nobody can see that I suck. Yes, I know I do it for my own health, but at some point this is just getting too much.
Is it ever going to get better? Will I ever feel like everyone else or is 20 something years of inactivity is basically dooming me to never keep up with the rest?