Give up

dmead001

Anyone just decide to give up? Every day I try and I try and I just end up horribly. I have so much stress in my life that food is my go to comfort and despite promising myself and trying every day.. I fail..fail.. and fail again

I feel like it is hopeless at this point and I’m destined to be fat forever.

Clairin

I have given up and thought to give up more recently yes. No way though. Last time I quit I ended up with a back that hurt me and a gut belly.

Preparing in advance to help yourself make good choices isnt a bad place to start. If you have foods in the house or have a pattern of going to a place that you cant resist certain foods at the moment then maybe change that until you can resist. Help yourself.

I failed a lot recently. My Mum was staying with me and I was eating out a lot. I did it last night, ate a whole bar of chocolate after a curry meal at a restaurant. I felt gross afterwards. I realise Im learning. I realise Im seeing the error of my ways literally. I have to learn in order to change. So perhaps see this as a learning experience and observe what triggers you or what choices you are making that you can alter?

I have MFP friends and I shared my struggle this past week and they were supportive. Do you have a supportive setup personally or here on MFP? That helped me.

88olds

I gave up every day until I didn’t. Actually, for years I didn’t even try. Trying would have punched a hole in my denial. So you’re past that stage.

What are you trying? What would a successful day look like?

Do you keep a food diary? Use a food scale? Do you keep your diary even if you go over your number? Even wildly over?
If you are counting calories, where do you have your deficit set? Do you know your maintenance number?

Maybe start by planning a menu to hit your maintenance number and get in the habit of logging come what may. You can adjust the numbers when you have control of the process. If stress is an issue, try walking. Don’t worry about how many calories walking uses. It’s about stress reduction. Plus it gets you away from the kitchen.

Take heart. There’s every reason to have hope. Calorie counting works. It has to work. It’s the way our bodies are designed. You don’t say why you think things aren’t working out. Sometimes people are distressed because the calculators don’t give them a number that gets their weight trending down. If that’s an issue, try a lower number.

But more often people just have trouble living with the process. There’s a fairly long calorie counting learning curve. It’s an odd thing to do. No one was born counting calories. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust.

There are quite a few people who have lost a lot counting calories on this board. If you could be more specific maybe you can solve a few problems and move ahead.

nighthawk584

I gave up 16 years ago. I reclaimed my life starting last April. only YOU have the power to turn it around.

cmriverside

^^Everything 88Olds said.

Log food, no matter what your day looks like. Log it as accurately as you can. Knowledge is Power.

Buy a digital food scale and commit to preparing most of your own meals. It's a good skill, and it's fun.

Take a walk at a brisk pace 3-5 days per week. You can park further from the office, get off the bus or train two stops earlier, bring your own lunch so you'll have 20 extra minutes to walk at lunch, etc.

Walking (especially outdoors) helps a LOT with stress.

stv1520

HA! Every day I want to pig out and sit on the couch! Ya know what? I did this past weekend. Started Fri with the rehearsal dinner. Then Saturday a boozy and bad food lunch, then the wedding where I was so drunk I don't remember much. Not good at all. Then comes Sunday. Hangover and White Castle sliders all day. Then Monday, laying around like a sloth doing nothing, and same with Tuesday. Yesterday I got back into my routine, and hit the gym after work. Thought I'd die, and that I lost all my progress from those days of gluttony. Nope. Felt great during and after the workout. When I started this journey in August, I was 295. I'm almost to the 20 lb lost mark. The start of this was very difficult, and I wanted to quit. But the point is, I stuck with it and it got EASIER. Give yourself 2 weeks of eating at or under your allotment, and hit the gym. I guarantee that you'll notice a change, and keep going. If I'm wrong, White Castles are on me!

MarcyMavin

I needed to lose a hundred pounds five years ago. I struggled and struggled thinking I would never get anywhere. But I never gave up. I would start again each day, and many days failed, but each day I tried to succeed in some way, exercise, food, etc. What kept me going besides obvious family and health concerns, was that I knew I was soooo tired of struggling and being tired, and of this body I was trapped in, and that if I gave up, it would be harder and HARDER to get back on track. I couldn’t do harder anymore, I needed my life back. And suddenly, I realize I am down 50 pounds in those five years without really realizing it. And now I have the energy and drive to finish the next 50. It is so hard everyday, but if I could do it, you can too. I know you can!!!!

annliz23

We all go through these feeling of failure and doubt but try to be positve look for something each day that can make you smile, add some friends to motivate you. Good luck.

twistedhailstone

Just try and be 1% better than you were yesterday. 1% more steps, 1% better food choices. Before you know it all those 1%’s will add up to a massive change.

LyndaBSS

You have to be ready. Deep down inside, you have to be ready. You have to be willing to put your health first. You have to accept changing your lifestyle. You have to be okay with tossing trigger foods in the trash. You have to stop making excuses why you can't do this. You have to want to be a success story.

Are you ready?

fatoldladyonamission

I can't add much to the above but have a quote that resonated with me before I got myself into the weight loss zone.

Losing weight is hard.

Being fat is hard.

Choose your hard.

Good luck to you and I hope you find your zone soon. For me the food was something I could control in an otherwise stressful and chaotic life. Maybe that's a different way to look at it?

cbihatt

I think a lot of us on MFP have had a similar experience. Sometimes it takes years to get to a place where you can begin to make changes that stick.

That said, I find it helpful to focus on each day in a vacuum. When I am having a rough time, I tell myself that I only have to make it through that one day. Employing that strategy over time leads to weeks and months of being on track. And it gets easier for a time...until it’s hard again. And then, I narrow my focus down to one day again.

Managing weight will never be easy for some of us, but it’s one of those things where the benefits are worth the struggle.

goldthistime

"If it feels difficult, make it easier". I've typed this several times on this forum lately, but said it to myself countless times. It's always a better choice to look to see how you can relax your own rules, rather than to quit.

vggb

dmead001 wrote: »

Anyone just decide to give up? Every day I try and I try and I just end up horribly. I have so much stress in my life that food is my go to comfort and despite promising myself and trying every day.. I fail..fail.. and fail again

I feel like it is hopeless at this point and I’m destined to be fat forever.

Let me rewrite your script for you: "Anyone just decide to give up? Everyday I fail and I fail and yet the sun still rises. I have so much stress in my life and food has become my crutch. I promise myself to throw away the crutch and try every day.....try....try...and try again.

Some days I feel like it is hopeless, but I am destined to try and try again, and try my way into success.

Change your script to "I'm going to do this" we all screw it up at some point because we're only human. Then we forgive ourselves and just keep going.

darklyndsea

twistedhailstone wrote: »

Just try and be 1% better than you were yesterday. 1% more steps, 1% better food choices. Before you know it all those 1%’s will add up to a massive change.

This! Change is hard, and it's harder the bigger the change is. Give yourself permission to start out slowly. Maybe switch out only one meal or snack for a healthier alternative - or even just one ingredient. When that starts to feel normal, switch out a second one as well.

And it sounds like the path to healthier eating might start with figuring out how to reduce your stress or manage it better. I assume you're doing your best to avoid stressful situations, but some are unavoidable. How are you managing your stress, other than food? If food is your only coping mechanism, look up other methods and give them a try.

Diatonic12

Pain is the precursor to change.
It's human nature to wait for the pain to become so great until there's no other option but change.

slimgirljo15

You didn't fail, you kept trying and you are still here.
Lots of great suggestions above.. I'm not sure what it is you define as failure... are you not keeping within calories? No gym?

Meal prep and logging is a great way to start and the biggest thing for me was to incorporate all the things I love, Fish and chips, a burger, cake.. and my beloved fishfinger and egg sandwiches.
The day I found out ( from mfp peeps) that I didn't have to live on rabbit food and things I didn't like was the beginning of my success story.
I wish you the best of luck.. keep at it and find what works for you. 🙂

VictorSmashes

I used to think giving up was easier. That being fat was easier than taking care of myself, getting skinnier and fitter, and feeling better about myself. I still have depression and anxiety and chronic pain, and concern myself with worries that this will or won’t be the cure (hint: it’s not), but in the mean time, if I’m gonna live, I might as well do it trying to get a little less sick, a little less hurt, and a little more comfortable. I have a LONG way to get where I wanna be and I’m not doing everything I should be, but I haven’t given up. Give yourself a break, literally and figuratively. Then hop back up on that wagon and start over.

kenrodz422

Everyone on this thread is on point. And here are my dos centavos (two cents):

healingnurtrer

goldthistime wrote: »

"If it feels difficult, make it easier". I've typed this several times on this forum lately, but said it to myself countless times. It's always a better choice to look to see how you can relax your own rules, rather than to quit.

I like this a lot!

OP, It's ok to fail, if you keep trying you may find something that works.

What other coping skills do you have for stress besides eating?

fairytale_babe

We all fall off the wagon! I literally had ice cream for my snack🤣 made my teenager finish the rest so there was no more 🤣 but that's what it's about falling off jumping back on body fitness models have a cheat meal afterwards. Because we're only human! As long as you keep trying, just keep going. Tomorrow's a new day. Be kinder to yourself also, tell yourself 3 nice things everyday and mean it even it's ...your hair looks great. I like that shirt. Sounds dumb but that really helped me.