Food Addiction and honesty

Ashley_no_excuses

From my facebook page Ashley Ball Real Chicks Fitness:

I know this page has died down a bit, and I must apologize. I feel this journey is about honesty, struggles and triumphs. I want to share something of myself with you all in hopes that I can inspire you to always have the will to re-start.

I have never been a small girl, I was what they call thick or too shapely for my age. Instead of being taught to understand my body, I was taught that I was fat, wide and looked as though "I ate myself". I was put on diets of egg and toast with black coffee at 15 because my thinner than the rest of the family aunt thought it would help. Being a dancer all my life, I never had body image issues until this. Yes I bloomed early but with that came the female tradition of self loathing early on.

Later down the road, before weight watchers at 16, I asked my Poppy for his yummy homemade biscuits and he advised me that he was no longer allowed to make them for me, he was told by my nanny that they made me fat, and I was getting too fat. The look in his eyes of having to say that to me brings pain to my eyes and the first memory of buying a whole round cake from the local grocery store and eating as much as I could in my room. In secret I ate and lived for every bite, every taste like I would never know the joy again. I became a food addict in that moment.

I share this piece of my food addicted history because I am here to overcome. I deserve it and so do you. Where ever your pain or your hurt comes from, wherever that first moment food healed you, let it go and heal yourself! We don't always know how and I'm still searching, but we owe it to ourselves to try!

Tomorrow is another day and another chance to live, so take it and make it yours!

Ashley Ball Real Chicks Fitness