Wee bit weary

KSK1982

I'm starting my weight loss journey yet again tomorrow... I've tried slimming world, weight watchers and Scottish slimmers each time I end up binging and I cant seem to get out a rut. My daughter is 3 and a half years old and I weigh more than when I was 9 month carrying her.

I currently weight 16 stone 4lb and would love to be 11 stone.

I am from Scotland. Anyone with advise please comment. If I wasnt so fat I'd run away and hide my fat self.

I detest how I look and cant seem to help myself. I really am a lost cause.

Anyway take care and good luck on your journey... K x

LyndaBSS

Have you figured out why you keep quitting? Without knowing the why, the cycle continues.

There is no structured "diet" here. Eat the foods you love so you don't feel deprived, stay in a calorie deficit and lose weight. It really is that easy.

If you haven't already, read the stickies at the top of the getting started forum. Very informative and helpful.

Buy a food scale. Weigh everything you eat and log into the food diary.

Good luck with your journey!

KSK1982

Thank you. I've not really had a look properly on the app. Will hopefully get a chance tomorrow.

I dont make alot of time for myself since I had my wee girl. I dont make alot of effort with anything anymore. I need to give myself a shake and get moving my fat *kitten* xx

aroze0928

Nobodys a lost cause so don't think that although I remember feeling that way when at my biggest. These behaviors will keep you fat and miserable though.
Log everything you eat. If you see it you will be accountable for it. Just start by walking. Its easy, its free, and it really makes a huge difference. This lasts for a lifetime though. Its not a diet if you want a permanent change. Be positive. Get the negative out of your head and youll make it. Good luck.

bobsburgersfan

KSK1982 wrote: »

I really am a lost cause.

I refuse to believe this! You CAN do this.

Lynda summed up the advice I'd have to give, but I want to say this. Your words about yourself are incredibly negative and unkind. Please try not to beat yourself up. You have value no matter what your size is.

springlering62

I hear a lot of self loathing here, couched in deprecating humor. You are me, honey.

Wake up, look yourself eye to eye in the mirror, and tell yourself you are worthy, you are good, you are beautiful, and that your daughter deserves the best mom you can be. Then decide to be that person.

Go outside and look at all the miserable, unhealthy, unhappy, whinging people in their 50’s and 60’s, who are barely making it. My severely diabetic mom- bedridden for six years and it’s everyone’s fault but her own. Decide not to be that person.

DON’T be me and wait til your kids are 27 and 29 and realize you shoulda and coulda done this twenty years or so ago. My girls deserved better. Husband, too.

If you study MFP and put your mind to it, it’s not that hard. It’s snapping your brain into “go” mode and getting on the stick that’s the hard part. Yeah, you may have to devote a few minutes a day to logging, but your days will be better after while if you stick to it and that’s a promise.

RelCanonical

KSK1982 wrote: »

Thank you. I've not really had a look properly on the app. Will hopefully get a chance tomorrow.

I dont make alot of time for myself since I had my wee girl. I dont make alot of effort with anything anymore. I need to give myself a shake and get moving my fat *kitten* xx

Make time for yourself and learn to make yourself important. It will set a good example for your daughter to see that her mother cares about herself.

Joyjas

Don’t be discouraged! You can do this!!! As others have said stop the negative self talk and tell yourself that you will do this!! I weigh more now than I did after I had my twins!!!! I gained 30 lbs in a year (and was about 20lbs overweight before that) and have yo-yo dieted for 5 years. My biggest lost was a year and a half ago when I lost 20lbs on Weight Watchers. But I gained it all back because the new weight watchers program was too restrictive for me and as soon as I stopped I gorged on all the foods I’d been depriving myself of. This time I decided it really has to be a lifestyle change. I have actually hated when I read that before and always thought, “yeah right I don’t want this to be my lifestyle I like eating sweets and pizza”. But what I realized is that the lifestyle change is that I’m going to have to track forever because whenever I stop tracking I gain the weight back.

This time I started with 3 goals: drink more water, start exercising, and eat less than I burn based on my Fitbit. As long as I eat fewer calories than I burn - even if it’s 10 less calories - I consider it a victory for the day. I log everything into my fitness pal and then at the end of the day I subtract my calories eaten from my calories burned and write it in a notebook. I have been doing this for 11 weeks and I have gone over my calories 7 days in that time because life happens - dinners out with friends, birthdays, weekend getaways and I decided that I’m going to live my life and enjoy it and not stress so much if I go over but get right back to going under. This approach is working for me - I don’t feel deprived, am still eating sweet treats and favorite foods. I added a new goal - to commit to tracking for 1 year without taking breaks for holidays, birthdays, and vacations (because after the breaks It takes me months to get back to tracking).

Figure out what works for you without depriving yourself. You can do it!

IAmTheGlue

Is there a chance that you've tried to be too restrictive in the past? Too fee calories? Taking away all your favorite things?

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it is something you can do forever. 🙂

jonnyman41

Be kind to yourself and love yourself as you are. Your weight does not make you the person that you are.
From there try to make very small changes for now, don't worry about doing it all at once. Maybe start with something simple like no sugar in your brews, water instead of pop, ban crisps... really just one or two things and then build from there.
Start doing a little extra exercise, not much but walk a little further, take your child swimming that sort of thing.
Once small steps are established move on to more.

IremiaRe

When you get on an airplane and they are giving you the safety spiel - what do they always say? PUT YOUR OWN OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST. You can't be there for anyone else if you fail to save yoursefl. It took me a LOTof years to learn this lesson... try to do better than I did.

Hugs!

bear2303

You can do it! I have a 4 year old and a 20 month old and a more than full time job and i've lost 40 lbs (20% of my body weight because i'm short!) in the last 7 months. Its hard. Don't get me wrong, its much easier to not make the time for yourself and to keep doing things the way you're currently doing them but believe me, life on "the other side" is SO WORTH IT.

Hating on the way you currently are isn't going to help though. Get out of the negative self talk and learn to love what you CAN do. You have the ability to eat smaller portions, you have the ability to track your food and be accountable, you have the ability to move your body in a healthy and positive way.

As a mother myself i totally understand how hard it is to put yourself first but let me tell you, I'm a much better mom now than I was 6 months ago. I'm not as tired, we get up and we go for walks, i play with my kids so much more than i used to and i'm teaching them healthy habits. I'm also not participating in negative self-talk about myself and contributing to the cycle of body image issues that have plagued me my entire life.

You can find 30 mins in a day to get a work out in. You can find 10 mins a day to log your food. You can be accountable and stick to a calorie goal. You can do this.

kgb6days

Here is the deal - you are not a lost cause unless you believe you are. Change the voice in your head. Make small changes. Don't be an 'all or nothing' person. If you eat too much today, start again tomorrow.

Diatonic12

You're a stunning woman and you know that. Stunning.

After today, don't call yourself anymore names. It's completely unproductive. Many of us know a thing or two about rebound weight gain with friends and we've pulled ourselves back out of the ashes. We learn these things the hard way and no one wants to learn these things.

This is my second time, I've now released 100 lbs twice. The first time I crashed and burned. I ate it all back. This time, I'm engaging my head in every step of the process. Every single day.

Here's my greatest take away from eating it all back. Not one frickity frick frick time did my brain stop me while I was eating it all back. Not once. I was eating it all back on remote control, autopilot. Only until I reached my highest weight with friends did my brain then turn around and start to taunt me, call me names. Oooo, just look at what you've done to yourself. That's the way the brain operates.

Not one single time during the eating it all back process did my brain even try to alert me or stop me until all was eaten and done. There's so much more I'd like to say but we simply haven't got the time. Do not let your brain call you anymore names. You're in the driver's seat now and you are going to take charge. Stay engaged, lean in, actively participate on the forum and your diary. It really works.

Day one.

dabburs6515

I’m in Scotland too and one thing that makes it harder for me are the dark dreicht days we seem to have from Oct-March lol - this year I’m going to embrace the dark nights .
Been logging for a week , down 3lbs , honestly haven’t felt hungry or deprived , I’ve had amongst other things a white pudding supper ( very Scottish) choc, pasta , rice and real cheese , stayed within or just under my calorie limit, I’m choosing to lose 1lb a week , yes slow but in a year I’ll be at least 52 lbs down ❤️ MFP is so easy to do , all you need is a set of scales and a willingness to commit to change a few things , start small then add something else ? Say walking for 10 mins? even on the spot counts !! Or having one less bag of crisps ( I’m down to 3 a week - they are my krytonite😂)
I’ve done WW, Slimming World, Scottish slimmers, keto etc etc , had some success but none were sustainable , I have a child too ( although now 13) work and run the house , I try to make time for myself every day , even if it’s just 30mins on my laptop watching YouTube videos 😂, I have approx 60lbs to lose , but hey this time next year ??
Try to be nicer to yourself , your so totally worth the effort😍
Looking forward to hearing about your success on MFP xxx

donnadee1984

Hi girls im from scotland 2. Can yous add me. I have not figured how to so that yet. Sorry. Xxxxx

elfin168

Hi Sweetheart. My advice is buy yourself some pretty clothes. Make an effort with your hair and appearance. Find yourself some lovely lady friends who dont give a damn how much you weigh. Start doing some light exercise and enjoy your lovely daughter. They grow up so fast. You are enough as you are now.

littlegreenparrot1

I appreciate this might be controversial given wherever are, but honestly, I really only started making progress when I made peace with the weight I was. I made a decision to stop beating myself up about it.

Instead I started changing my habits, to the stuff I knew would benefit me but I wasn't doing.
More fruit and veg, more cooking from scratch, some activity every day. Although to start with I wasn't counting calories I knew I shouldn't be eating packets of chocolate biscuits, so stopped buying them.

I got my hair done, bought some clothes I liked, rather than just ones that fit/were cheap.

I started to feel better, I built up some momentum, I liked myself enough to put the effort in.
I was just under 17 stone when I started, now about 13. Some way to go, but my weight is just one tiny part of who I am.

Your daughter will see how you treat yourself, you are amazing in many ways that have nothing to do with your weight.
Pick one thing to change this week and make a start x

o0kody0o

Hiya, I’m from Scotland too 👋🏻 I had my first child 11 months ago and when I was 3 months postpartum, I weighed 13st 2lbs. I’d never been that heavy before and like yourself, I hated how I looked and always put myself down. One day in that February this year, I said “enough is enough”. I joined MFP (I’m so grateful I came across this app), I cut out most of the junk food I always ate which included takeaways, crisps, chocoate, full sugar drinks etc. I created a calorie deficit and started eating 3 meals a day with healthier snacks in between.

I’ve now managed to get down to around 9st 12lbs, and my goal weight is 9st 2lbs. I didn’t think I could do this. Try and be kinder to yourself and make even one small change at a time. When I first started out, I was disappointed because I didn’t see “overnight results” but I kept going, and I accepted that weight loss is a slow process.

You can definitely do this. Feel free to add me if you like

All the best 🤗

Adc7225

Here is a thought. Your daughter is 3 so the changes you make now you will be making not only you but for her as well. You will be teaching her great life long healthy habits. Take your time and don't be too hard on yourself, if you are anything like I was you will be changing habits you had for your whole life - but sparing your daughter this

Set aside some time 15-20 minutes, either early in morning or at the end of the day to dedicate to educating yourself about your health - It is so worth it.

Best wishes!

dsboohead

You really do have to be mentally, emotionally and physically "ready". It cannot be just a fleeting thought.
Also, there needs to be the realization that it will NOT happen overnight. It takes time and diligence to adopt new habits from the old habits.