Letting go to meet calorie intake / maintenance

mgmgmg1981

Hey there!

I've been following a pretty disciplined workout program for weeks now (years).
I basically train around 60-70 minutes per session, 6 days a week. I lift weights and perform some bodyweight exercises with palettes, and also handstands, etc.
Currently, my stats are 181cm / 57kg, and per my activity, I should be hitting around 2300-2500 kcal daily to at least hit my maintenance goal.

I struggle at ~1700 kcal a day and for some reason, I am "afraid" to get more calories as I don't want to gain too much weight quickly. It's hard to "let go" and change my eating habits. I eat quite "clean" and I am looking for mental tips to let go a little bit. I'm too hard with myself and counting calories is becoming a little bit of an "obsession".

Should I stop counting for a while? What is your experience in that regard and what "clicked" for you? I realize I am underweight and this could/will have consequences in the future...

Thanks for any insight or help,
Cheers!

jdscrubs32

I remember you had quite a similar post a while back about more or less the same issue. You have to be mentally ready to bulk because when you bulk, like I said before, you will gain some fat along the way. How much fat is up to you. If you take the bulk nice and slow and aim for a 0.5kg increase in weight per week or month, the amount of fat built up will be equivalent more or less to the amount of muscle that you will gain. So you are 1700 calories a day. Increase slowly by 250 to 1950, give it a few week like 4, still no increase in weight, increase again by 250 and so on until you start to see an increase in weight. By not jumping too high in calories each time, your body and mind will slowly get used to the increased amount of food. Don't become obsessed with the word "clean". Eat whatever fits your macros.

LivingtheLeanDream

Don't you want to be eating more than 1700? I maintain on just under 2000 calories and wish I COULD have more.
Bump your calories up to 2000 at least and then keep adding over the coming weeks - you will enjoy those extra calories.

If you are finding yourself overthinking the process take a logging break and see how that goes for a few weeks.

steveko89

I agree with increasing slowly and I personally found it best to continue logging quite meticulously to make sure I'm still hitting the right calories and macros; the target is just higher. Given the mindset you described, I'd be concerned that to stop calorie counting will lead to your undereating even more out of an abundance of caution. You already have the discipline to workout, if you adhere to a slight surplus (+250/day or less) you should be able to effectively gain muscle without too much excess fat. Eating "clean" is subjective, but you don't necessarily have to abandon your eating habits or lifestyle completely, just start consuming more of the foods you do now.

peachvine29

I think this article may help: https://jcdfitness.com/2009/10/the-former-fat-boy-syndrome/

It's about FFBS (former fat boy syndrome, not sure if you were ever very overweight) which results in being afraid to gain much fat to the detriment of strength goals, and how to overcome that mentally. Basically he advises that you commit to your gains goals, accept a little gain weight gain or end up spinning your wheels forever. I don't think there's any other way around it.

I wish you the best!!

cupcakesandproteinshakes

I do wonder whether some therapy might be useful for you to get out of the mindset that being underweight is preferable to being a normal body weight.

I’m a 5ft 8.5 female at 135 pounds I’m hungry when I eat 1800 cals.

wiigelec

Not sure what your end goals are but here is some info that you may find useful:

https://startingstrength.com/article/maybe-you-should-gain-weight

https://jimwendler.com/blogs/jimwendler-com/101085062-2016-help-a-friend-get-stronger

https://www.andybaker.com/building-a-simple-diet-for-mass/

https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/584-2/

PS: sharing this as I wish someone would have shared with me 20 years ago when I was 6’1” 130# and a lot younger with more potential for growth...

riffraff2112

Remind yourself what your goals are. If you want to gain some muscle mass then you need to eat more, there is no debate as those muscles will demand some calories to fuel their growth. Being afraid to gain weight is a real issue that I can relate to but trust the process and it is ok to be meticulous with logging, but you need to know what your target is and stick with it.

mgmgmg1981

Thanks, everyone for the great articles and support! This means a lot and kinda reinsure me about that long-time goal I should set. I was able to do it for my fitness routine so I'm definitely confident I can do this.

@peachvine29 : I wasn't really overweight or fat ever. I just had a couple of months of hectic sleep/eat patterns a while back, but it lasted only 2 months. After this "episode", that's when I decided to get in shape by exercising and eating better. However, it could be somewhat related! I really don't want to "fall back" in that state!

After browsing JCDFit website I came across this article/video, which was excellent and relevant to my case, as per the 1st question he's addressing: https://jcdfitness.com/2015/01/how-to-gain-weight-practical-applications-for-eating-to-build-muscle-and-why-you-might-not-want-to-gain-weight-fast/

Thanks a ton! If you have more "mental" or strategies to share I'm sure it could be beneficial to other as well.
Cheers!

PWHF

I'm in a similar place. I've been cutting all year and just started a bulk. I really don't want to loose definition and start seeing fat come back. My strategy is to focus more on my inner self, what I'm achieving in life and strive to one of those people that doesn't care so much about external appearance. I'm trying to focus on lifting and exercising to build physical strength, health and fitness and dexterity for martial arts - the functional aspect.

It's hard work for sure but letting go of external appearance will lead to more happiness and effectiveness. This is the carrot I'm dangling in front of myself. Oh that and bada$$ strength standards and martial arts ability.

Stoicism and mindfulness is helpful in this

mgmgmg1981

Definitely a great mindset to have @PWHF!

I don't care about looks, but I kinda look like a "skeleton" right now... Which is lame because I look "better" normally.

It's funny that you brought stoicism, I am reading the Daily Stoic every day and it has been very mind-opening!

PWHF

mgmgmg1981 wrote: »

Definitely a great mindset to have @PWHF!

I don't care about looks, but I kinda look like a "skeleton" right now... Which is lame because I look "better" normally.

It's funny that you brought stoicism, I am reading the Daily Stoic every day and it has been very mind-opening!

Good stuff! Start hitting those PRs and strength standards and enjoy the food!

wiigelec

mgmgmg1981 wrote: »

If you have more "mental" or strategies to share...

Just like anything in life if it’s something you really want you find ways to make it happen, instead of excuses why it won’t...

mgmgmg1981

@PWHF Yup! Starting Mind Pump Anabolics program next week! I'll rest and recover this week, and prepare myself for it!
@wiigelec Exactly, that's why I was asking for a few tips. Ultimately it's just my own decision. I am confident I will do it.

Thanks everybody!