Emotional binge eaters

shelleysykeskeene

All emotional binge eaters - please post your stories here - what are your triggers? Have you been able to overcome them? Are you getting better at managing them?

For me when I fight with my husband i just want to give up - like why am I trying so hard when he doesn't even care? Why should I care about me? Then I will go eat a bag of crisps or a chocolate. And then think my diet is ruined anyway so I make bad choices the rest of the day.

I also started to equate weight loss with being sick. 2 years ago I lost about 12 kilograms in 2 months due to a very bad intestinal bacterial infection - I almost went into liver failure. So now when the scale drops I'm happy but at the back of my mind I think I need to eat something that tastes good (but is very bad) so I can gain it back to prove to myself I'm not getting sick again - yup I'm weird!

What is your story?

caprihana

I used to turn to food when I was unhappy too, I was FAT. Not now, I'm getting there. What I'd say to you is this......

You are a beautiful woman, you should be proud of yourself. When you fight, don't eat and think that it's all a waste of time because he doesn't care. You look fantastic, beautiful and happy and he'll notice. Even if it is that everyone else is noticing you because of your attitude. Be proud of who you are, be confident. If you want to add me to your friend list I'd be happy to accept, I'll motivate you if you'd like :-)

corinasue1143

My story is very different. When I feel bad or mad, for whatever reason, I quit eating or exercising. I just shut down. And gain weight. When I’m happy, I eat. And lose weight.

LyndaBSS

I used to be an emotional overeater. I started filling out the food diary a few days in advance, almost from day one. That stopped me from binging.

I used the diary as something that I had to answer to if I messed up and that strategy worked for me.

I've had only one really stressful day where I wanted to binge and I didn't. I was able to stay strong.

Find what works for you. Put the time and effort into it. It's worth it.

kshama2001

Regular exercise really helps prevent emotional eating for me. In times of increased stress, I increase exercise.

I'm also prone to overeating if my protein or sleep is low, so I work on that.

Designer20698

I binge when I'm bored. If I have something to keep me opcupied or a project to work on I only eat when I'm hungry. So those evening TV shows equal lots of snaking. Which scares me because I'm retiring in December. I have to either find a lot of projects or get a hobby quick. Any suggetions?

healingnurtrer

My triggers are stress, boredom and emotional and physical pain, and anxiety.

Logging definitely helps me understand the behavior. For anxiety, I use tools I learned in counseling. For stress and boredom going on a walk outside has been great for coping. Emotional pain- mindfulness, radical acceptance and self-compassion work. I have not found something to help with physical pain. I used to have knee pain and ate sugar to cope constantly when I wasn't even hungry. The knee pain was resolved years ago so I don't deal with a lot of pain now. I hurt my foot a few weeks ago and my craving to binge on sugar was intense. I think mindfulness could help in theory, fortunately I don't deal with a lot of physical pain now so I haven't had to find a solution.

yobeme

My trigger is work stress. Although I eat well during the day, after work I find myself having alcohol and junk food to deal with the stress.

Unfortunately I haven't found a strategy to combat this yet. I won't buy alcohol or junk food during my weekly shop but find myself stopping to pick it up after work. I am aware of what I am doing but just don't have the willpower to resist after a hard day at work.

I also let exercise go when I get really stressed at work and I think this is what I need to add more of to combat the stress.

Shortgirlrunning

I’m a stress eater. It’s such a hard habit to break! I still feel a strong urge to turn to food when I’m stressed. I’ve worked on finding other coping mechanisms. Journaling, knitting, running, a hot bath, mindless television (Bob’s Burgers is my de-stress and laugh show). Even with all those options that I know help, I still really want to turn to food a lot of the time. Which is part of why I log everything before I eat it. Seeing that it will put me way over my goal does help me make better choices.

yobeme

Logging your food before eating it is a good idea. I should try that at the point of buying the junk food so I know what my diary will look like at the end of the day. This might stop me buying it or motivate me to choose something with less calories. Thanks for the tip @Shortgirlrunning

maureenkhilde

Work in progress. But what has helped me the most, is what I call my me first thought process. I am a good person, I deserve to be happy, I will do what it takes to get there. Kind of a mantra I talk to myself lots.

I have really learned by reading so many posts, that logging is a huge help. And also if I know what I am going to have for breakfast for say 7 days in a row, I pre-log for week. Often I pre-log breakfast and snacks, which keep me from going off the rails. The other thing I learned from reading posts, is at times I bank maybe 75 calories a day for 3 or 4 days so if there is an event coming up. I can eat a bit more and not have that crappy guilt feeling. So instead of being so caught up on every day total. I look more to how did I do this week in total.

candylilacs

Just binge. Just enjoy it. Don't beat yourself over it. And get on the wagon again.

shelleysykeskeene

@Designer20698 my mom retired a few years ago and she also had no idea what to do. She found a retirees group and now she is always busy - they do volunteer work, classes, short courses, day trips, lunch dates etc. Depending on what your interests are you could join craft courses, exercise classes, dance classes, do short online classes, volunteering etc I was retrenched this year and I've taken up watercolour painting

kshama2001

Designer20698 wrote: »

I binge when I'm bored. If I have something to keep me opcupied or a project to work on I only eat when I'm hungry. So those evening TV shows equal lots of snaking. Which scares me because I'm retiring in December. I have to either find a lot of projects or get a hobby quick. Any suggetions?

Well, you could do like my mom and have a 250 year old house and extensive gardens that constantly require upkeep

A few years ago, in her late 70s, she spent quite a bit of the summer up on a ladder, scraping and painting.

She's finally agreed with me that she should stop being on ladders and has other people clean out the gutters these days.

pjwrt

Tension/anxiety will push me to overeating comfort foods. I mean, back in the fat ol' days, a box of Entenmanns would make the discomfort go away. Donuts are a no-go now.

Last night was the first time in a year that I emotionally overate, plus had a whole Mexican apple cup dealie--all homemade, by the way. The original anxiety was forgotten because it got replaced with the anxiety overeating gives me.

Today, I forewent the customary large Sunday breakfast and rode the chopper an hour and then the bicycle for an hour to amend my backsliding ways.

Next time, I'll just resolve the anxiety before picking up a skillet.

Womona

Designer20698 wrote: »

I binge when I'm bored. If I have something to keep me opcupied or a project to work on I only eat when I'm hungry. So those evening TV shows equal lots of snaking. Which scares me because I'm retiring in December. I have to either find a lot of projects or get a hobby quick. Any suggetions?

Some kind of handicraft such as knitting, crocheting, needlepoint, embroidery, etc. anything that can be done while you watch TV and keeps your hands busy instead of reaching for snacks. Plus you don’t want to get your creations dirty!

soofa93

pjwrt wrote: »

Tension/anxiety will push me to overeating comfort foods. I mean, back in the fat ol' days, a box of Entenmanns would make the discomfort go away. Donuts are a no-go now.

Last night was the first time in a year that I emotionally overate, plus had a whole Mexican apple cup dealie--all homemade, by the way. The original anxiety was forgotten because it got replaced with the anxiety overeating gives me.

Today, I forewent the customary large Sunday breakfast and rode the chopper an hour and then the bicycle for an hour to amend my backsliding ways.

Next time, I'll just resolve the anxiety before picking up a skillet.

My trigger is same as yours😩 anxiety and stress make me eat so much and even if I feel full I cannot stop eating 😕

Danp

I used to refer to myself as an emotional eater but I don't any more.

I kinda realised that I was using this as a convenient excuse to eat. It was a way of absolving myself of responsibility for my behaviour. It wasn't my fault I was eating, I'm just an emotional eater. It's beyond my control so I can't be blamed.

That changed the day I realised that I could only fix things for which I accepted responsibility. If I was going to take control I also had to take responsibility. From that day on I accepted no excuses from myself, nothing was not my fault and therefore nothing was beyond my ability to fix.

It was scary, but ultimately very empowering and liberating.

healingnurtrer

Danp wrote: »

I used to refer to myself as an emotional eater but I don't any more.

I kinda realised that I was using this as a convenient excuse to eat. It was a way of absolving myself of responsibility for my behaviour. It wasn't my fault I was eating, I'm just an emotional eater. It's beyond my control so I can't be blamed.

That changed the day I realised that I could only fix things for which I accepted responsibility. If I was going to take control I also had to take responsibility. From that day on I accepted no excuses from myself, nothing was not my fault and therefore nothing was beyond my ability to fix.

It was scary, but ultimately very empowering and liberating.

Your experience makes sense, I think for others - you can recognize your pattern of overeating is being influenced by emotion and still take responsibility. For me recognizing I'm an emotional eater means the fix wasn't in my nutrition alone but also working on my emotional well-being- counseling, emotionally healthy habits, etc. For some people finding the right combination of protein, fat, fiber, and enjoyment is enough to stop them from wanting to overeat. Or maybe it's just the habit of logging and willpower to stick to it. For me it's the nutrition plus processing my stress, doing my counseling work, getting walks, etc. We do have control over our emotions- although some of us need extra help with out emotional health and there's no shame in needing help. (edit to add: by saying we have control over out emotions I mean we have a choice to work on our mental health and emotional well-being. In some cases of severe depression, etc. functioning and ability are more limited. You don't know until you've walked in someone else's shoes! No judgement here.)

Danp

Just to clarify

I'm not trying to discount the struggles with emotional eating or trying to make it sound like "it's all in your head" so just get over it. Rather that a big step forward for me was the act of owning my behaviour, taking responsibility and not using it as an excuse. It's the realisation that you can only change things you have control over and are responsible for. That if I was going to do something about it that I couldn't accept that it wasn't my fault or my doing.

It's the difference between "I feel sad or stressed and it's not my fault if I comfort myself with food. I can't help it, it's out of my control" and "I feel sad or stressed and if I allow myself to comfort myself with food then that's a choice I've made. I am responsible for how I will react and therefore I am in control."

saraonly9913

candylilacs wrote: »

Just binge. Just enjoy it. Don't beat yourself over it. And get on the wagon again.

Stupid advice. (sorry, but).
I can do this every day for 2 weeks or more!

kiela64

Triggers? Stress, anxiety, depression, feeling worthless. I see overeating/junk foods as both a comfort and a punishment, because I know what I’m doing to myself. It’s self sabotage, but it also helps me get control over my emotions. Exercise helps. Therapy helps. But old habits die hard, even after I lost 40lbs. And it’s still my go-to. Which is something I need to address so I don’t continue to re-gain it all.

ReenieHJ

I admit I have a sugar addiction; it's my go-to crutch whenever I feel depressed, anxious, stressed, bored, angry, you name it. There are some foods I've refused to eat anymore such as pasta and pizza because I know I have no self control. I haven't been buying ice cream or packages of cookies, etc., because I'll eat the whole thing. I'm having a hard time limiting my peanut butter consumption. It's my favorite food. I guess if you're a binge eater like I am, limiting any food can be difficult. I've been a yo-yo dieter all my life, from a chubby child to obese adult and even appearing sickly underweight at certain times. I'm now at 145 and am working on staying that way; would like to be 135-140 eventually and active. Having retired a few months ago has been an adjustment but am trying to make walking my friend. Plus I think keep the diary on this site will help keep me accountable. I do need to get a hobby. Or two.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar15

My triggers are tied to the abuse I survived. It'll be things like a taste or flavor in my mouth, having my body be in pain, not being heard or having my needs taken seriously, not having enough like not knowing where my next meal is coming from.

I use a weighted blanket to help me calm down.

cupcakesandproteinshakes

https://3dmusclejourney.com/binge-eating-causing-can-overcome/

kshama2001

IAmWomanHearMeRoar15 wrote: »

My triggers are tied to the abuse I survived. It'll be things like a taste or flavor in my mouth, having my body be in pain, not being heard or having my needs taken seriously, not having enough like not knowing where my next meal is coming from.

I use a weighted blanket to help me calm down.

I can relate to this. When I was in a bad relationship and constantly invalidated, I sought comfort from food and alcohol and other things.

I love my weighted blanked.

lillola96

I'm an emotional eater in recovery and it's going GREAT! I binged and emotional ate my whole life - ate when I was happy, sad, stressed, bored, you name it. No BS story about ”something just snapped one day and I got over it”, that has happened many many times. So what is different this time? I've made changes in ALL areas of my life. Stopped social media entirely. Start each day with thinking of 3 things I'm grateful for instead of browsing Facebook. I've armed myself with a stack of good books to read. I've promised the dog to walk her every day rain hail or shine and have been keeping that promise.

It's about finding something to replace emotional eating with - changing your mindset and what feels good. For me - it means cutting out the junk entirely for a time. I just can't trust myself to have only ”one” donut. I knew eating crap and binging wasn't making me feel good, so I forced myself to eat well and excercise and how good and strong I feel the next day after making these good choices. SLEEP also plays a huge part, if I dont sleep well I want to eat junk so I make good quality sleep and enough of it a priority.

Overcoming emotional eating is a challenge every day, but it DOES get easier to do. I've been at this now for only 6 weeks, but before in my life I've only been able to stay away from a binge for less than 7 days, so I'm very proud of myself and know it's working. Overall I feel so much better and seeing my healthier figure, steady weight loss in the mirror every morning is what motivates me to keep going.

You can do it! Believe in yourself and what you're capable of.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar15

kshama2001 wrote: »

IAmWomanHearMeRoar15 wrote: »

My triggers are tied to the abuse I survived. It'll be things like a taste or flavor in my mouth, having my body be in pain, not being heard or having my needs taken seriously, not having enough like not knowing where my next meal is coming from.

I use a weighted blanket to help me calm down.

I can relate to this. When I was in a bad relationship and constantly invalidated, I sought comfort from food and alcohol and other things.

I love my weighted blanked.

How have you been able to move past this? I feel like if I give up eating I will just find something new to abuse or worse, relapse into an eating disorder.

Shortgirlrunning

I took up running and knitting to help with my emotional eating. Running helps relieve stress and kitting gives me something to do with my hands other than snack while watching tv.

I’m not perfect, I still slip up and binge eat after a really stressful or upsetting day sometimes but it’s a lot less frequent than it used to be and I’m also better at forgiving myself for those slip ups.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar15

I'd like to run again one day. What I'd really like is to be able to run outside and be free.