Step Scult Class - The Evil Empire Strikes

ophedian

Okay... why didn't someone warn me of the evil that is the Step Class. First of all it is hard enough to exercising in the morning, let alone learn to decipher the dead sea scroll movements that they call exercises. Let me explain the problems.

1) I am a guy, so please keep it simple. Exercises called "The Yo-yo", "The Revolving Door", and "The Around the World" only serve the evil purpose of confusing me. They should be simply called... "Go left, jump off, get back on, go right", "Keep turning on your step until you are dizzy", and finally "Break your ankle if you dare try this move". Listed in their respective order.

2) Okay, once you have one set of exercises memorized, why does the instructor feel the need to come up with some other set of exercises "To make it more fun." Oh worse yet, "Okay, we are going to add on another set..." EVIL I TELL YOU, EVIL ABSOLUTE.

3) Then once she is done teaching the new mind melting routine, with a big evil Disney villain like maniacal smile, says "Okay, lets put it all together... Now from the top!" Can someone hit the replay button and tell me what we did 10 minutes ago!

4) Finally, winded, dripping with sweat, can barely talk... i realize the unfortunate truth. There are no other guys in the class. I am the only one. I must represent for the male species. We are a proud bunch. I take a look around the room to see how the women are suffering, only to humbly realize that we the male species have lost miserably. In disbelief I watch as some women jumping on and off the steps like leaping gazelles others seem to take flight and land on the steps as if ballerinas moving to a Toccata.

5) I humbly submit to the Sith Lord Instructor and her class of leaping gazelles. Resistance is futile, but it would have been nice had someone warned me of this thing called "Step Class".

ophedian

Okay... why didn't someone warn me of the evil that is the Step Class. First of all it is hard enough to exercising in the morning, let alone learn to decipher the dead sea scroll movements that they call exercises. Let me explain the problems.

1) I am a guy, so please keep it simple. Exercises called "The Yo-yo", "The Revolving Door", and "The Around the World" only serve the evil purpose of confusing me. They should be simply called... "Go left, jump off, get back on, go right", "Keep turning on your step until you are dizzy", and finally "Break your ankle if you dare try this move". Listed in their respective order.

2) Okay, once you have one set of exercises memorized, why does the instructor feel the need to come up with some other set of exercises "To make it more fun." Oh worse yet, "Okay, we are going to add on another set..." EVIL I TELL YOU, EVIL ABSOLUTE.

3) Then once she is done teaching the new mind melting routine, with a big evil Disney villain like maniacal smile, says "Okay, lets put it all together... Now from the top!" Can someone hit the replay button and tell me what we did 10 minutes ago!

4) Finally, winded, dripping with sweat, can barely talk... i realize the unfortunate truth. There are no other guys in the class. I am the only one. I must represent for the male species. We are a proud bunch. I take a look around the room to see how the women are suffering, only to humbly realize that we the male species have lost miserably. In disbelief I watch as some women jumping on and off the steps like leaping gazelles others seem to take flight and land on the steps as if ballerinas moving to a Toccata.

5) I humbly submit to the Sith Lord Instructor and her class of leaping gazelles. Resistance is futile, but it would have been nice had someone warned me of this thing called "Step Class".

abbychelle07

I once went to a yoga class and said WOW! These people were like pretzels and I couldn't even reach my toes! I was so embarrased, but I definitely got a workout!

Anise6789

Thanks for this blog. I really enjoyed this humerous peice. I can imagine how you felt. I'd like one of those duck hunter guns to shoot those little girls on the firm DvD. They're just so bleeping happy. I do seven flights of steps every other day while playing the song , "What is love". Ha it only lasts five minutes and leaves me breathless. Good luck , keep us posted.

banks1850

LOL! YOu just described my first Body Pump class. Take heart o, it gets easier, I don't do step, but I do other class stuff. Even worse for me, that body pump class has my WIFE as the instructor so not only did it destroy me, I had to listen to her saying "Hard, wasn't it?" the whole time with a big smile on her face :grumble: . I will have my revenge though, the minute she is cleared to run again (she has a bulging disk right now and can't do any high impact stuff), I'm gonna take her on one of my military workouts until she pukes. Muhuhuhahahahahaaaaa! (I'm just kidding, I won't make her puke....much).:devil:

lotusfromthemud

OK, so I practically peed my pants reading this. Hi-larious.

These things do get easier. . .hey. . .at least you weren't bored.

:flowerforyou:

LightenUp_Caro

I feel for you.
I've been to "chorearobics" and it is absolutely miserable.
My best friend and I took it last summer and basically they teach you different dance moves (at which the instructors are amazing) and the class continues to repeat the dance during different songs at different tempos.
Everyone did horribly. I don't understand how the instructors could make it through the class without just laughing out hysterically at us. I'm sure thats what happened when we left.
But I will say that it was an incredible workout and it wasn't an average day at the gym.

emtink

:laugh:

the only step class i ever took was in high school. i was cheerleader, used to running, push ups, sit ups everyday at practice. but that class kicked, or stomped, my butt! i literally thought i was going to have a heart attack.... at 17.

props to you for making it thru the whole thing:flowerforyou:

yoginimary

I feel your pain. I've never been able to follow the beat or instructions in class. I get confused in strength training :laugh: