I slipped off the wagon but held on by my fingernails

vegaslounge

This time two years ago I was ~155lbs from my high of ~225. I was 10lb from goal and, at 32, I’d never been below 160lb since I was 12 years old. I was working out, I was eating right, I fit into clothes I’d never dreamed of.

Within 3 months of 2017, my mother’s cancer took her life, my then-boyfriend developed kidney failure, we broke up, and various family issues came to a head as they often do in crisis.

I started eating again, and this time it truly sucked because I *knew* I was overeating, I *knew* I was ruining my progress, but at the same time I just didn’t care. I didn’t regain all the weight, thank God, but I did gain 30lb and started having the knee aches and acid reflux I recognize and never wanted to deal with again.

The second anniversary of my mother’s death is this Friday and for the last three weeks I’ve been diligent about weighing and logging everything, doing about 15,000 steps a day and cooking nutritious meals. I don’t know what the trigger was, but a couple of weeks ago I decided I was tired of my own sloth.

I’m feeling very positive about this because while I tried to lose some of those “grief pounds”, it was a half-hearted “I should do this”. What I’m doing right now feels like when I initially lost all that weight– “I don’t like feeling this way, let’s do something about it.”

I’m terribly sorry for this random, rambling post. I don’t discuss diet etc with anyone in my “real life”, but I did want to connect somehow.

Hollis100

I'm so sorry about your mom passing away and the trauma from your boyfriend's illness and breakup. Food means comfort to a lot of us, which of course is a big trap. We have to retrain ourselves from the ground up. I'm glad to read you're moving out of the grief and picking up your journey to better health again. Good for you, you can do this.

redeve17

You lost from 225 to 155, this is what I call life goals
Welldone you, dont be so hard on yourself
Get back on track and hit the goals

vegaslounge

redeve17 wrote: »

You lost from 225 to 155, this is what I call life goals.

Thank you so much. Part of the reason I *know* I can shed these “last” 30lbs because I feel in the mindset of how I did during that initial loss, the sudden “I don’t want to feel like this anymore” snap to reality.

The last month I’ve been weighing and logging everything I can, I’ve been cooking nutritious meals, I’ve cut back on my drinking, and I’m just out and active so much more than the last few months. And, it doesn’t feel like a “cycle”, like I’ve done when I actively try to diet, be good then binge...as I said I just woke up and didn’t want to feel like crap anymore.

I truly never thought I could lose that initial weight as I’d been overweight/obese my entire life that I could remember. I literally had to train myself on proper portion sizes and activity from the ground up at 27 years old. I have far less to lose this time around but I feel confident I can do it, because I did it. I can absolutely do it again.