Frustrated and tired of this stupid puzzle:

ElizabethKalmbach

I am simultaneously over weight and struggling to eat enough calories to support my desired activity level. I understand CICO. I'm excellent at manipulating my weight. My stomach is not compliant with the plan and I'm tired of feeling nauseated whether I eat or don't, and shaky if I don't stuff myself until I feel sicker.

I'm tired of being uncomfortable all the time.

I'm tired of being told that my numbers look fine. I'm tired of reading articles that suggest that more research is warranted, but no one has gotten around to it yet. I'm tired of being cold all the time. I'm tired of grinding away mentally at what my body should be doing automatically. I'm tired of having to remember all of this minutea for every meal, every day.

I'm ANGRY that every time I think I've solved the puzzle of what my body needs me to do to stay healthy, another level of complexity gets added.

I'm not even that bad-off compared to a ton of folk I know, and I can't imagine how they cope day in and day out. I'm tired of not exactly fitting into any category of support group.

I don't know why today is hard, but trying to get my lunch together this morning made me cry, so I'll probably eat out, but then getting all my planning done *just so that I can eat out* has me in tears again. Everything is terrible and this had better not be PMS, because I truly can't spare the blood right now.

Being this tired and this complicated is isolating.

puffbrat

I don't have any suggestions nor do I think you are asking for any. But I just want to say that I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and you have every right be frustrated and angry by feeling so perpetually uncomfortable, unheard, and isolated.

quiksylver296

How long have you been dieting? Have you taken a maintenance break?

LyndaBSS

💙

tcunbeliever

I totally agree...it took me several years to find a solution for my migraines and it was horrible living for years with migraines 5 days a week...health issues are no joke, and they are no fun either, and doctors can be somewhat stupid about nutritional and herbal alternatives when the drugs just don't magically work like a charm.

I'm also PMSing this week, welcome to the club.

For what it's worth, based on my little bit of knowledge about thyroid and anemia issues (I have those too, though not persistent) you might want to try carnivore if that fits your other needs/restrictions. Both the iron and B12 in fresh meats are more bioavailable than cured meats or plants, so that might help you a bit.

Feel free to rant and vent as much as necessary to get through the day!!!

It totally sucks when the scale is being a witch with a capital B!!!

ElizabethKalmbach

quiksylver296 wrote: »

How long have you been dieting? Have you taken a maintenance break?

I'm not really intentionally on a diet, and I generally wouldn't restrict calories to this extreme intentionally.

I'd been in maintenance for 5 years, then a bunch of stuff happened back to back, symptoms popped all over the place and August and September had me putting on 10 lbs/month.

Tests came back with iron anemia, and they have me supplementing. Starting oral supplementation stopped the headache that I had for most of September, and I nearly instantly started dropping the weight that piled on. The first 9 lbs came of in 10 days, suggesting (as I suspected) that a lot of it was water.

But my appetite was tricky *before* all this, because I have hypothyroidism, pernicious anemia (b12 insufficiency), hypochlorhydrea (low stomach acid - probably somehow linked to the pernicious anemia), and now this iron anemia.

The supplementation is fixing my ferritin levels, and my headaches have stopped, but I'm still really food avoidant. I have to take stomach acid supplements to help digest protein, and I sometimes have trouble remembering them because I ALSO have ADHD, and I work REALLY hard at medication timing and medical compliance, but if I drop a ball it's that one, because of all the freaking meds I take to stay alive, that one can probably be skipped the most frequently without killing me.

I need at least 9g of protein per meal to take the acid supplement without ending up with heart burn, and I *should* have about 100g of protein per day to meet my training goals, but that's completely out the window these days. I hate all this math before meals, but if I don't concentrate, I'll just stop eating at 1300 calories for the day and my TDEE is like... 2127 and I WANT to be eating 1877, but I'm still pushing to hit 1700 and not getting there most days.

I'm working up to it, adding 100cal more per day every week or so, but I'm tired and cranky and THIS SHOULDN'T BE HARD.

I'm experimenting with more calorie dense options, but increasing fat just seems to make me uncomfortable for even longer than forcing down more protein, but both options just make me feel uncomfortably full and crampy or heart burny... Moreso than just not eating would.

But I know better, so I continue to push and try to eat, but sometimes we end up with today and all the crying.

quiksylver296

Yikes! That's a lot to deal with. I can see why that would be so frustrating.

cathipa

Sorry about your situation, but have you been referred to a registered dietitian? Sounds like you could use the help.

ElizabethKalmbach

@quiksylver296 I am also frustrated because I really like to lift but I've had to drop all my rep weights by like... 60% because I'm not getting "tired" warnings like normal. My body just STOPS when it runs out of oxygen and I keep dropping what used to be my *warm up* weight.

I keep seeing doctors, but most of my doctors are pleased that I am alive and compliant to treatment, rather than worried about my huge steps back in all the progress I've built in the last couple years. (DOC. DO. YOU. EVEN. LIFT?) I get where they're coming from, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't still be upset. I literally worked my @ss off for that.

I'm really trying to preserve my lean muscle mass by keeping protein up and calories up, but some days I'm just too tired to stay angry enough to ignore discomfort like I normally do.

ElizabethKalmbach

cathipa wrote: »

Sorry about your situation, but have you been referred to a registered dietitian? Sounds like you could use the help.

But my NUMBERS are FINE and within the "normal" range(s) now. So, no. There are no referrals for me.

That said, I WORK for the Department of Nutritional Sciences at a university with one of the best Dietetics programs in the country. I am SURROUNDED by RDN's and mull things over and puzzle things out with them regularly, but those conversations are much like these ones, because metabolic changes caused by iron anemia are not well studied AND my symptoms are clouded by a grouping of conditions for which I have to compensate in a lot of different directions. We just end up looking at different bits of anecdotal hope and conducting our own experiments on me. to see what works.

I largely know what I need to do, and I'm mostly doing it, but it is difficult and unfair, and there isn't really much anyone can do about it except yell encouragement at me.

maureenkhilde

I am sorry you have so many different things you need to keep track of, all of the time. You carry a heavy load. And I can understand why some days it is just too much to bare. So feel free to vent when you need to...