Almost Cried at the Gym

Terytha
Terytha Posts: 2,097 Member
edited December 23 in Motivation and Support
Because, despite my best efforts, I utterly failed to do a single push up.

So I had to do the one they used to call the "girl pushup" when I was a kid, the one on your knees. I've always extremely resented that it was called that and that it was offered only to the girls like we were weaker and inferior. I always refused to take the easy options offered to the girls for gym exercises in school.

And now I don't have a choice. I'm physically too weak and too heavy to push myself up.

It's weird how my brain has latched onto these old things from my childhood and left them as benchmarks for my entire life. Even though my trainer pointed out there's actually an easier pushup and what I did was a solid medium and not bad for someone who never does pushups...

I feel like I failed.

Building self esteem sucks. I feel like I've come a long way and then the slightest tap cracks the whole thing and it turns out I built it out of egg shells and crackers.

I'm OK, just frustrated.
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Replies

  • pizzafruit
    pizzafruit Posts: 318 Member
    You tried and that's what matters. :)
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    I"m sure you could get there. Maybe start benching with some light weights to gradually build up to it.
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    ElizabethKalmbach wrote: »
    1. Congratulations on doing it anyway.
    2. Stop calling them "girl pushups." They're *modified* pushups for those who are unable to the the traditional version for whatever reason. I don't do "boy" pushups. I just do pushups, and I do whatever pushup I have to in order to meet my goals.
    3. Which brings us back to #1. Congratulations on doing it anyway.

    I have a bum knee and a cranky left rotator cuff, so I'm temporarily doing modified pushups using stairs instead of my knees. We will get better at this together and someday we'll be totally done with tyrannosaurus arms. *roars and crushes a car*

    #2 is spot on.. I have lower back issues.. when I restarted training.. had to do it on my knees until i get used to it again.

    Op.. is it upper body strength or holding the form?

    Start building up your core first then upper body muscles.. Push ups will be easy by then.
  • RepsnSets
    RepsnSets Posts: 805 Member
    You can actually become stronger pushing up from the knees. Once you build your strength you can do full push ups from there. I started from lying face down on the floor and pushing upwards onto my toes. Try that too :)
  • knightreader
    knightreader Posts: 813 Member
    I started with wall push ups, bc I couldn't do regular ones and due to surgeries, cant kneel. You are moving forward and that's what is important!
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,539 Member
    You can do this. Work your way up. Use the wall, kitchen counter, a chair or the bench at the gym to start on an incline. Do dumbbell presses. When you get to 1 real push up, keep doing the modifications in addition to the real thing to build up your numbers.

    Weight training is a great teacher of incrementalism. Hang in. You’ll see.
  • koalathebear
    koalathebear Posts: 236 Member
    I know it's frustrating and disheartening but please don't let it get you down.

    I have been going to the gym since January this year and can plank for 2.5 minutes now but still do push ups on my knees. Some people in the group can't do them at all and do them against the wall. I will never be able to do a chin up. We just find the exercises that work for us... I don't like running and won't ever do it - hasn't stopped me losing weight and getting healthier though.

    My challenge is the ab wheel. I always face plant when doing it. My core is strongish because I can plank and do Russian twists... But I have to keep working on the damned ab wheel !!

  • sweetbe44
    sweetbe44 Posts: 195 Member
    Pushups are friggin hard! I’ve been going to the gym 3 times a week with a personal trainer for over a year and I’m still not doing full regular push ups. I’ve been doing them at gradually lower and lower inclines and also do negative pushups on the floor where I just do the lowering part over and over again, but I’ll eventually get there and I’m sure you will too if you keep at it.
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    Push ups are really hard.
    You will get there. You don't expect to go to the gym and curl 50 lb dumbbells. It takes work. As do pus ups. Keep working on them and one day you'll get a full one on your toes
  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    Push ups are hard. I can’t do them. I do wall push ups. You do what you can to build up to your goal. It’s really not a big deal, lots of people can’t do push-ups, especially at the start of their fitness journey. No shame in it.
  • cupcakesandproteinshakes
    cupcakesandproteinshakes Posts: 1,159 Member
    Push ups are hard for women. I have been trying for 5 years to do them. I can do all of 5 now.

    I think they are like any other exercise they need tons of practice to improve.
    I still can’t do one pull up. I’ll get there.

    Life can suck sometimes.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 7,145 Member
    Pushups aren't easy! A lot of people start with wall pushups instead of knee pushups. You're still relatively new to the gym. Keep doing knee pushups and strengthening your arms! I can lift a lot with my legs but it's taking forever to graduate from the "wussy" silver dumbbells I use for arms. I'm finally at the heaviest of them and am hoping to graduate from them before the end of the year!
  • fairytale_babe
    fairytale_babe Posts: 391 Member
    But you know what, you did it. We all start someone, push ups from our knees. And we get stronger and better! It's about progress! To keep going! My biggest advice is be kinder to yourself! You wouldn't tell your best friend/daughter she's weak or failed. You'd encourage her! So well done to you today, that's was a great effort, you did good! Just keep trying, never quit❤
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    edited November 2019
    Rome was not build in a day... more like 300 years. Don't think it will take that long. Takes time to develop upper body strength. Lower body have larger muscle groups compared to upper. Start lifting. Chest, back, and triceps work WILL help with pushups. Make sure your protein is high enough to help maintain lean mass as you lose. Remember.... Resist and Bite!
  • Viking_Dad
    Viking_Dad Posts: 185 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    You can do this. Work your way up. Use the wall, kitchen counter, a chair or the bench at the gym to start on an incline. Do dumbbell presses. When you get to 1 real push up, keep doing the modifications in addition to the real thing to build up your numbers.

    Weight training is a great teacher of incrementalism. Hang in. You’ll see.

    A staircase works great, too. Start with your hands on the highest stair you can reach (in pushup position). When you can do 5 or so pushups fairly easily, move down a stair.

    You haven't failed unless you've decided to stop trying.
  • Suuzanne37
    Suuzanne37 Posts: 114 Member
    My approach at the gym is to do the best that I can; In a Body Combat Class (Les Mills); I might do an advanced tuck jump and a modified push-up.

    Starting out or starting back; you have to creep until to can walk, that is why there are so many modifications for working each body part.

    You’ve got this✨
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited November 2019
    push ups are hard. There's no reason to feel bad about it. I've never done a real push up. I try doing modified push ups on the stairs so I can go down a stair as I get better, but it kills my wrists. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Push ups just suck.
  • Terytha
    Terytha Posts: 2,097 Member
    notapilgrim wrote: »
    88olds wrote: »
    You can do this. Work your way up. Use the wall, kitchen counter, a chair or the bench at the gym to start on an incline. Do dumbbell presses. When you get to 1 real push up, keep doing the modifications in addition to the real thing to build up your numbers.

    Weight training is a great teacher of incrementalism. Hang in. You’ll see.

    A staircase works great, too. Start with your hands on the highest stair you can reach (in pushup position). When you can do 5 or so pushups fairly easily, move down a stair.

    You haven't failed unless you've decided to stop trying.

    I don't have stairs. I failed at the bench level one too.

    I'm not giving up but I hate feeling this pathetic.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    Terytha wrote: »
    lx1x wrote: »
    ElizabethKalmbach wrote: »
    1. Congratulations on doing it anyway.
    2. Stop calling them "girl pushups." They're *modified* pushups for those who are unable to the the traditional version for whatever reason. I don't do "boy" pushups. I just do pushups, and I do whatever pushup I have to in order to meet my goals.
    3. Which brings us back to #1. Congratulations on doing it anyway.

    I have a bum knee and a cranky left rotator cuff, so I'm temporarily doing modified pushups using stairs instead of my knees. We will get better at this together and someday we'll be totally done with tyrannosaurus arms. *roars and crushes a car*

    #2 is spot on.. I have lower back issues.. when I restarted training.. had to do it on my knees until i get used to it again.

    Op.. is it upper body strength or holding the form?

    Start building up your core first then upper body muscles.. Push ups will be easy by then.

    I've been going to the gym 3 times a week for 3 months. If I don't have core strength by now, I doubt it'll ever happen.

    And for the record, I don't call them girl pushups. That's just what they were called when I was a kid. It's always made me stubbornly not want to do them because eff that noise. I can do anything boys can do. And I could always do them.

    Just, not anymore.

    3 months is just the beginning of your fitness journey. There is no reason to think you can’t improve from here. Of course you can! That’s why it’s called a “journey “.
  • cupcakesandproteinshakes
    cupcakesandproteinshakes Posts: 1,159 Member
    Terytha wrote: »
    notapilgrim wrote: »
    88olds wrote: »
    You can do this. Work your way up. Use the wall, kitchen counter, a chair or the bench at the gym to start on an incline. Do dumbbell presses. When you get to 1 real push up, keep doing the modifications in addition to the real thing to build up your numbers.

    Weight training is a great teacher of incrementalism. Hang in. You’ll see.

    A staircase works great, too. Start with your hands on the highest stair you can reach (in pushup position). When you can do 5 or so pushups fairly easily, move down a stair.

    You haven't failed unless you've decided to stop trying.

    I don't have stairs. I failed at the bench level one too.

    I'm not giving up but I hate feeling this pathetic.

    Well I’ve read some of your other posts and you have helped others with useful advice. Go gentle on yourself. Pathetic is a harsh word.

    I have workouts that suck all the time it’s not pathetic, just progress can be slow at times and growing muscles/ gaining strength is hard work and takes years of effort.

    . You are in the gym and are building/ have built some good lifestyle and diet habits. That’s more than most people ever manage to achieve.
  • Caveman94
    Caveman94 Posts: 22 Member
    You did not fail. You have goals...short term, intermediate, and long term. One of your goals it to get healthier overall. You MENTALLY decided to do it! For some, that alone is a goal into itself. “I’m too busy”. “The gym cost too much” etc. you decided you would start the process AND you actually started. Now, you work on hitting goals/check points with every exercise. Keep moving forward. Message me directly and I can help you with a program to get you to that push-up and beyond.
  • Powerclean2deadlift
    Powerclean2deadlift Posts: 35 Member
    My wife can do loads of proper form push ups. I can't do any! I'd be modified all the way. Sounds like you have a goal to aim form. Get googling how to do a pushup. Also remember that you are pushing your body weight so it will take time and patience.
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