Do you get support from family and friends?
ReenieHJ
Posts: 9,723 Member
I'm so happy to have this place now. It's a combination of entering numbers daily and reading what people accomplish/struggle with, etc. It's been a real Godsend for me.
I don't have anyone in real life who roots me on or discusses food, exercise, or anything like this place. So just knowing it's here has been helpful in keeping me accountable and on track.
I don't have anyone in real life who roots me on or discusses food, exercise, or anything like this place. So just knowing it's here has been helpful in keeping me accountable and on track.
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Replies
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I've found it really helpful in the same way: People to use as a sounding board who "get it".
I'm a widowed-orphaned-childless-only child, and live alone, so family support isn't a thing. Most of my friends are not interested in weight management (they think it's "impossible at our age") or are on very different tracks (weight watchers, low carb, and one who diets by just making sure she's always a little hungry (!).
I've only ever had two friends/acquaintences who looked at weight management from a calorie counting perspective (or at least understood what they were doing as being about calories, whether they counted them explicitly or not). Thankfully, I do have some friends who are quite active, to whom I can talk about exercise/activity stuff.
I've really learned a lot here on MFP, and have gotten a bundle of help along the way.11 -
I get a lot of support from my husband. He doesn’t have detailed conversations with me about calorie counting or anything because he’s always been thin but it’s nice to have someone who will gently ask if I have calories for something or push me to do my workout.
Outside of my husband I don’t talk about my weight loss with friends/family. I like having an online community for support. When I fell off the wagon for a bit I stopped posting here and think if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have been off the wagon as long.2 -
I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself. It irritates them when I say that is not how I am wired. Instead of leaving it alone they argue with me about it.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
While it is true that I have lost most of the weight I need to lose I am not done yet. I don't celebrate in advance. I don't allow myself to get ahead of where I actually am. I don't care or judge if others want to do that but it is not me.
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I am very fortunate to have many family and friends that are supportive. My family allows me to pick the restaurants that are easier for me to order a low calorie meal and the friends at work will notice for example when I've come from the exercise room and ask me about it and congratulate me for going. What is disappointing to me is that I haven't inspired anyone else to participate in this weightloss journey. Over half of my family and friends are overweight.3
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My family is mostly supportive, they've been proud of my accomplishments. They do think I overdo it with being strict about what I eat, how often I work out, and the amount of weight I've lost. I agree with @vkrenz that it would be great if I inspired at least one family member, many of us are diabetic and I just got my A1C down to 4.5, low enough to stop medication. I'd love that for them too.1
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I don’t mention it to anyone but my husband and even with him not in any detail. That’s why these forums are so awesome. That said, my husband will eat any new recipe I put in front of him at least once, and I’ve not received any pushback about incorporating more fish and meatless recipes into our dinner “rotation.” If he doesn’t like it he requests that we not eat it again, but he’ll always finish it the first time I serve it.7
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Nope, no support outside of this app. I didn't want people IRL to know the ups and downs of my weight issues - and funnily enough they just think now I'm slim naturally (because I've been my current size for over 6 years)....they can believe that if they want LOL5
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Nope, no one in my family or circle of friends is into health and fitness. In a way it gives me more motivation because this is MY thing.4
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See, my dh has learned not to say much, he's just accepted what I'm doing. I found everything he used to tell me to be more condescending than supportive. Plus he'd make strong suggestions on how I should do things, while he himself is a smoker and has terrible eating habits.
On the other side of the coin, I have a very petite friend who used to be bulimic, runs/walks every chance she gets and, like me, is a compulsive eater. She's not 'happy' unless she's underweight. She and I both have definite food issues. While she's easier to talk with about these kinds of things, she also is obsessive about it all. What I mean is, I'd like to reach a point where I just do what I do and not have to think/talk about it 100% of the time but stressing about her weight is her obsession.
And for some reason, stressing about my weight is also part of her obsession. Every single time we get together she's making comments about the way I look. I'm simply now sure how I feel about that. 3 -
Experience tells me not to wait for others - do what you want for you and be prepared to be selfish about it. Multiple attempts with family and friends who all fall of the wagon and then seem to actively encourage you to jump off.
Whilst my daughter is saying she will do the marathon with me I am not waiting on her and I have my own plan. My wife says she will exercise every night and I hope she does though it won't stop me with my plans.
Take control, ignore the naysayers, do it for you.4 -
Plain and simple, MFP is inspirational to me. I have learned and have been inspired by so many people on this forum. My immediate family was supportive at the beginning stages but have found them to be less interested as I progress. It's ok, I get that they may be bored of my journey so I post less and less about it to them and more on these forums to like minded people.10
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I don’t discuss it with anyone. I’m flattered when others notice and comment, to a certain extent, but don’t want, or need praise. I’m doing this for myself, so I feel better and can move better. My husband and daughter are supportive, but they always have been supportive, no matter my size.3
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After losing my husband, who was my biggest cheerleader, last year, I now live alone. I do get support from family but they don’t live close by.
I get most of my support from mfp members, which is perfect for me because you guys all understand the journey.12 -
I don't... using this site works really well for me.
My Mom is kinda a fitness/health food/keto nut - so I make sure that I NEVER and I mean NEVER discuss those topics with her. She will take it upon herself to be my personal accountability coach & it makes me insane. I'm more of a 'whatever in moderation' sort. Keep in mind my high weight was 160 some years ago after multiple rounds of steroids for a back issue....and I'm 5'8". She's the sort that will toss all the good stuff out of your cabinets and give you disapproving looks as you have a beer with dinner because it's got 'bad carbs' in it. So this is a fabulous sounding board without letting anyone IRL know about what I'm working on.
My boyfriend is extremely active during the day - he's self employed and trains horses. So he can eat whatever he wants and doesn't need to hit the gym. The last thing I want to bore him with is me trying to lose 10lbs. He'd be supportive, but he's never going to be a gym rat or health food nut. He never complains about the more healthy options I cook - he's always going to be a meat & potatoes kind of guy.
So I roll around in a chair at work all day staring at a computer screen & thoroughly enjoy this site to connect with like minded peeps that have to make a conscious effort to be healthy.5 -
I have all the support I could ever want or need from my husband. I don't really talk about it to family and friends beyond that. I still find this place to be invaluable, since my needs and methods vary drastically from his needs and methods in the weight loss and maintenance department.2
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When I was losing weight I pretty much was on my own. People around me were all athletic or were at healthy weights.
Over time I found my fitness tribe online and became great friends with some awesome like-minded people who were going through the same things I were going through. The support really helped.
Even now, heading towards year 7 of keeping off 80+ pounds some people don't get why I still do some of the things I do.
Some think since I'm at my goal and maintaining why am I wasting time planning my meals ahead of time, monitoring my calorie intake, working out daily etc.
Because I want to stay at my goal! I don't expect them to get it since they have never been overweight or obese. But my fit tribe gets it.
It can be annoying at times because I never talk about health/fitness/nutrition unless they bring it up.
However, with or without support I was driven, determined and committed to get the weight off and keep it off.4 -
I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!4 -
Family, yes...my mom has been into nutrition and fitness for a couple of decades easy and recently retired herself from doing triathlons. My sister is an avid marathon runner, trail runner, hiker, and overall general fitness junky.
Most of my friends couldn't have cared less and weren't really interested in fitness or nutrition...they were my Sunday drinking and watching football buddies. That was 7 years ago though...I have a lot more "fitness friends" these days that I've met through the gym or on group meetup rides, etc.0 -
Because I initially lost 108 pounds I get very little support from friends right now. I have regained 15 and am trying to get it back off but everyone wants to assure me I'm skinny enough, lol. Funny how that is. I know I'm over and my clothes are tight. My husband however is the opposite. When I was losing he wasn't supportive but now he is. I think in the back of his mind he always thought I would leave him if I lost weight and since I haven't he's actually the most supportive person in my life right now. God bless him! Since I live with him it's a whole lot easier with his help.4
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I'm finding my online "support" groups to be far more encouraging and supportive than people in real life. Too many people IRL live life differently - as a competitor, I've got a very focused plan and good reasons for it - a few of my racing friends can be supportive, but since I moved, I lost all of my old circle (other than virtually) so my support is mostly online now.
Have said hi and had a short convo with a couple of the regulars at my new-to-me gym, so hopefully will start to build a few like-minded contacts that way, even if that's the only place we really see each other.
Few people at work who work out regularly, but most of them are much younger men, so a 40+ woman isn't exactly their "demographic" to chat about workouts with!0 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!
I never liked being defined by my weight and I don't really like being defined by how much I have lost. If someone wants to make a quick comment I will appreciate it and thank them. Beyond that I kind of just want to be left alone to do my thing.
The reality is that most people do not know many others that stick to something long enough to see major results. They haven't "supported" a person that often so they have little experience. Considering I weigh less than half my original starting weight my transformation is a little shocking. I have been living it and even I have a hard time accepting it.
Anyway people who think they are missing out and want more in your face support should be careful what you wish for. Maybe it will be great... maybe it won't. The nice thing about MFP is that you unless you go out of your way to fish for complimentary posts you won't get many. The ones that you do get you can skim if you want. You are never stuck in a conversation.
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My husband is very supportive, but also didn't care about my weight even at my heaviest. I'm 50+lbs down but still in an "overweight" BMI, and he continues to call me the sexiest woman in the world. Far from accurate but very sweet all the same
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!
I never liked being defined by my weight and I don't really like being defined by how much I have lost. If someone wants to make a quick comment I will appreciate it and thank them. Beyond that I kind of just want to be left alone to do my thing.
The reality is that most people do not know many others that stick to something long enough to see major results. They haven't "supported" a person that often so they have little experience. Considering I weigh less than half my original starting weight my transformation is a little shocking. I have been living it and even I have a hard time accepting it.
Anyway people who think they are missing out and want more in your face support should be careful what you wish for. Maybe it will be great... maybe it won't. The nice thing about MFP is that you unless you go out of your way to fish for complimentary posts you won't get many. The ones that you do get you can skim if you want. You are never stuck in a conversation.
Have I told you lately how awesome you are? You're such an inspiration! What an amazing human being you are! A pillar of strength and determination for the rest of us to look up to.
I'm running away now
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!
I never liked being defined by my weight and I don't really like being defined by how much I have lost. If someone wants to make a quick comment I will appreciate it and thank them. Beyond that I kind of just want to be left alone to do my thing.
The reality is that most people do not know many others that stick to something long enough to see major results. They haven't "supported" a person that often so they have little experience. Considering I weigh less than half my original starting weight my transformation is a little shocking. I have been living it and even I have a hard time accepting it.
Anyway people who think they are missing out and want more in your face support should be careful what you wish for. Maybe it will be great... maybe it won't. The nice thing about MFP is that you unless you go out of your way to fish for complimentary posts you won't get many. The ones that you do get you can skim if you want. You are never stuck in a conversation.
Have I told you lately how awesome you are? You're such an inspiration! What an amazing human being you are! A pillar of strength and determination for the rest of us to look up to.
I'm running away now
Didn't make it past the first sentence.
Skimming Rules!
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!
I never liked being defined by my weight and I don't really like being defined by how much I have lost. If someone wants to make a quick comment I will appreciate it and thank them. Beyond that I kind of just want to be left alone to do my thing.
The reality is that most people do not know many others that stick to something long enough to see major results. They haven't "supported" a person that often so they have little experience. Considering I weigh less than half my original starting weight my transformation is a little shocking. I have been living it and even I have a hard time accepting it.
Anyway people who think they are missing out and want more in your face support should be careful what you wish for. Maybe it will be great... maybe it won't. The nice thing about MFP is that you unless you go out of your way to fish for complimentary posts you won't get many. The ones that you do get you can skim if you want. You are never stuck in a conversation.
Have I told you lately how awesome you are? You're such an inspiration! What an amazing human being you are! A pillar of strength and determination for the rest of us to look up to.
I'm running away now
Didn't make it past the first sentence.
Skimming Rules!
Hey! It took me at least 2 minutes to think up all those nice things to say to you and type them in on my phone. The least you could do is read them.1 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!
I never liked being defined by my weight and I don't really like being defined by how much I have lost. If someone wants to make a quick comment I will appreciate it and thank them. Beyond that I kind of just want to be left alone to do my thing.
The reality is that most people do not know many others that stick to something long enough to see major results. They haven't "supported" a person that often so they have little experience. Considering I weigh less than half my original starting weight my transformation is a little shocking. I have been living it and even I have a hard time accepting it.
Anyway people who think they are missing out and want more in your face support should be careful what you wish for. Maybe it will be great... maybe it won't. The nice thing about MFP is that you unless you go out of your way to fish for complimentary posts you won't get many. The ones that you do get you can skim if you want. You are never stuck in a conversation.
Have I told you lately how awesome you are? You're such an inspiration! What an amazing human being you are! A pillar of strength and determination for the rest of us to look up to.
I'm running away now
Didn't make it past the first sentence.
Skimming Rules!
Hey! It took me at least 2 minutes to think up all those nice things to say to you and type them in on my phone. The least you could do is read them.
I got to the "Hey!".
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tinkerbellang83 wrote: »I find "support" that I get from friends and family to be irritating. I get asked questions I do not wish to answer and I get told how I should feel about what I have accomplished so far. Everyone is obsessed with me being proud of myself.
They also do not like it when I downplay it. They can't really take a hint that I am not interested in fulsome praise.
I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way @NovusDies I also find some friends try to be supportive by constantly saying "oh you've lost more weight" even when I am 15lbs heavier than the last time I saw them. I know they are doing it from a good place, and I just try to let it roll off but holy kitten is it annoying!
I never liked being defined by my weight and I don't really like being defined by how much I have lost. If someone wants to make a quick comment I will appreciate it and thank them. Beyond that I kind of just want to be left alone to do my thing.
The reality is that most people do not know many others that stick to something long enough to see major results. They haven't "supported" a person that often so they have little experience. Considering I weigh less than half my original starting weight my transformation is a little shocking. I have been living it and even I have a hard time accepting it.
Anyway people who think they are missing out and want more in your face support should be careful what you wish for. Maybe it will be great... maybe it won't. The nice thing about MFP is that you unless you go out of your way to fish for complimentary posts you won't get many. The ones that you do get you can skim if you want. You are never stuck in a conversation.
Have I told you lately how awesome you are? You're such an inspiration! What an amazing human being you are! A pillar of strength and determination for the rest of us to look up to.
I'm running away now
Didn't make it past the first sentence.
Skimming Rules!
Hey! It took me at least 2 minutes to think up all those nice things to say to you and type them in on my phone. The least you could do is read them.
I got to the "Hey!".
Meanie.0 -
Not really, most tell me to stop losing weight or always have something to say about dieting or why do I work out so much0
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I don't have any support from family and friends but, then again, I never asked for it. In fact, I avoid talking about my weight loss with them as much as possible - I have this awesome MFP community for that.
I'm doing this for myself so I have to be my own best supporter.
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I have a two people IRL that are supportive and have similar health and fitness goals- my sister and husband. My husband and I plan, prep, cook, and exercise together. He has always been athletic and fitness-minded, so he's been a positive influence on me since we met ten years ago. He has never put any pressure on me to eat or exercise a certain way, but he supports me 100% when I set a goal. My sister is pursuing similar goals to mine and has been for a few years.
I find this MFP group to be amazingly supportive and helpful. There's always someone here to trade ideas or to commiserate. I read the NSV thread daily because my fellow MFPers are posting such inspiring victories. I've gotten some great feedback on workouts and help with troubleshooting issues. This community has been the thing I've needed to stay on track. I'm happy for you for finding this as well. 😊1
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