What do you say to "food pushers" at work?

pico6222
pico6222 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".

I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.

I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?
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Replies

  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    For the worst of them, I take it, walk back to my desk, and throw it in the trash. In a meeting I’d probably take it and let it sit in front of me (maybe poke at it a bit) through the meeting and then take it back to my desk and throw it in the trash.
  • pico6222
    pico6222 Posts: 14 Member
    edited November 2019
    Good suggestions. It makes me kinda sad that faking it is what works :(
    I guess I could take it home to my partner.
  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 697 Member
    Youre over thinking it. Just say no thank you with a smile as much as you can. This response is appropriate regardless of gender' religion or age gap.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    Say “no, thank you” and be done with it. If they keep at it, that’s on them, not you.

    Don’t ever feel that you need to explain yourself. That’s crazy!
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    pico6222 wrote: »
    Good suggestions. It makes me kinda sad that faking it is what works :(
    I guess I could take it home to my partner.

    Taking it home is still faking it.
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,522 Member
    Yell: "No! Get that crappy junk food out of my face, are you trying to kill me?"

    (It helps if you spread the rumor that you are pre-diabetic.)

    I guarantee that, after a few times, people will stop offering sweets to you. But, as a consequence, if people observe you eating sweets, they may speak condescendingly to you about it.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    I hate this kind of junk.

    I don't have any of those on my current team, but I have some of them in my family and it's so absurd.

    With family, I can ate least push back and fight and it's worth the effort, or just get enough to have a taste and then I can render an opinion if it's good or terrible or whatever. At work, it's just not worth it because none of these people matter to me and particularly in the middle of a meeting it's just a distraction and a drain on productivity.

    I say I'm not hungry when it's offered (I'm not, I planned my meals/snacks, I'm good). If they keep pushing and want to give me a piece to eat later, then I'll take it and leave the meeting room with it and throw it away at my desk. Usually I'll have a bite just so I will know if it was good and the person should get a compliment on their baking, because really, that's what people who bake want, they want feedback. They want to know if whatever new thing they have created is really good, or if it's just an experiment that fell flat. A bite to offer feedback isn't going to derail me, but I won't eat the whole thing, and I don't want it causing issues at meetings either.
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
    edited November 2019
    My preferences are:
    1. No thanks (short and simple)
    2. No thanks, I'm not hungry
    3. I'll take a piece for later (only if I want it - then eat at desk later or take it home)
    I've learned it is best not to mention diet, because then the pressure just piles on, as if others can't wait to crush your self-control.
  • neugebauer52
    neugebauer52 Posts: 1,120 Member
    edited November 2019
    "You don't want to see me when I am on a sugar high! I always get critically dangerous to people around me!" (or insert anything else you don't want to eat from someone else's dirty plastic container...) Or:
    Put an empty glass jar on your desk with a label: "Financial contributions for my next doctor / hospital visit requested after eating all your junk food". That might do the trick.
  • aries68mc
    aries68mc Posts: 173 Member
    I'm in the "No, thank you" camp, but my co-workers would never try to push anything.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    Take it, say you'll have it for dinner at home, then throw it away later on.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    edited November 2019
    I agree with bits and pieces of all the other responses, but I feel like my course of action varies with the specific person and whatever they're "pushing". Some people I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Some I wouldn't mind a bit. It varies. I would never eat something I truly didn't want but I might take 1 bite or accept a cupcake and just taste the frosting later on...stuff like that.

    I feel lucky that my current workplace doesn't have any offenders in this area. No one eats in the office regularly and we never do potluck or anything like birthday celebrations. We do have sales reps who bring in donuts or pizza but no one monitors intake. Occasionally I'll have one of those, but many times I don't. Staff meals are catered and infrequent, maybe 3 per year. As silly as it may sound, I feel like this is one of the hidden perks in my company (only half-kidding)!
  • tauntonmom
    tauntonmom Posts: 139 Member
    pico6222 wrote: »
    There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".

    I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.

    I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?

    I think you said it very well: if you replied with the bolded, what could they say? If they continue to insist, maybe add: "please don't make me go to Human Resources."
  • GummiMundi
    GummiMundi Posts: 396 Member
    I usually go with a simple "No, thank you" and a smile. If they keep pushing, I lose my smile and just stare back in silence until it becomes awkward for them. :p
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    pico6222 wrote: »
    There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".

    I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.

    I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?

    Take it, have one bite, and throw the rest in the trash.
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    This just happened to me at work this morning!!!
    4 ladies each pressured me and repeatedly!!!
    1. Thank you, but I already ate
    2. Thanks, I'm trying to slim down and started walking away
    3. However the 3rd lady was my boss and she walked after me trying to convince me saying that they hosted and we'll take turns hosting as a department. I said, "I love your idea and I love celebrating. But I'm trying to slim down right now. Patted my abs, politely chuckled a fake one, smiled and walked away.
    4. Office manager asked did you eat? I shook my head, patted my abs, smiled, and walked away. She gave me a very disapproving look but that's her personality so I don't take it personally.
    Key is, when the going gets tough - WALK AWAY with a smile knowing you are taking care of yourself not trying to please others because in the end, you have to live with yourself 24 7.
    Holiday parties are already here so more tempters and ambushes to come. Gear up, anticipate, practice that smile, and walk away.
  • threewins
    threewins Posts: 1,455 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    Holiday parties are already here so more tempters and ambushes to come. Gear up, anticipate, practice that smile, and walk away.

    Gear up! That place is a war zone.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    earlnabby wrote: »
    pico6222 wrote: »
    There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".

    I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.

    I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?

    Take it, have one bite, and throw the rest in the trash.

    For those who disagreed: this worked for me for 40 years until I retired. They were happy they pushed food on me and I did no damage to my waistline. Amazing how easy it is to keep the peace just by keeping your mouth shut . . . and how easy it is to not overeat by getting rid of the food ASAP.
  • Dazzlle22
    Dazzlle22 Posts: 23 Member
    People should get the hint and stop being so pushy all the time. If you don't want to eat their food it's your choice, not because you think their food is nasty, because you simply do not want to eat it. You shouldn't make up an excuse just for this, they should respect your decision, after all it's your choice whay you feed your body.
  • MaintainInTheMembrane
    MaintainInTheMembrane Posts: 63 Member
    edited November 2019
    Start with ‘no thanks’ and when they keep going, move onto, ‘I don’t want it.’

    After several times, say, ‘why are you still asking me to eat food I don’t want?’

    Also, if you have the option to walk away, do so.
  • udebear
    udebear Posts: 39 Member
    Do not be afraid to say "i appreciate the offer however you are making me uncomfortable." The more you say it, the less people will push, stand up for your lifestyle choices and don't be afraid of offending someone, you are stronger and better than that. 😙 Good Luck!!
  • mommabear4315
    mommabear4315 Posts: 3,424 Member
    No thank you I have strict orders from the doctor to eat a certain way.

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