Others jealous of your weight loss??

CannibalisticVegetarian

Maybe I read this situation wrong, but I have a friend of mines who isn't nearly as friendly as she was back when I was much heavier. I didn't rub the weight loss in her face because who does that?

Anyways we met up with some more friends of ours at a shopping outlet and decided to just walk around looking at clothes. After some hours of laughter and fun, we all go our separate ways. All in all it was fun until another mutual friend confesses that this girl had been saying really snarky things under her breath when it came to me. I mean I don't think it was intentionally trying to hurt feelings, but she'd gone as far as saying, 'Why ask her about clothing anymore since she's all skinny? She can fit whatever she wants now." (not verbatim but close enough).

She'd complimented me when we first met up, so it was a bit of a shocker to hear that throughout that evening she'd been throwing out backhanded compliments (She said much more than that). I never knew losing weight would turn your friends into .. well.. frenemies.

Nerdybreisawesome

I sent a friend a progress pic of me and she said congrats and then didn't speak to me for two months. I would text her and she would never text back. She told me before this that she wasn't really losing the weight like she wanted to and I guess seeing that I did lose some made her jealous enough not to talk to me. I was like really????

thenextstep

I've always been the "friend" people hung out with to make themselves look better. Now that I'm starting to look better those "friends" don't seem to come around anymore, imagine that. Now that I've lost a bit of weight, I've got comments that I'm getting to small, my goals are unrealistic, that I have small boobs now, things just to try cut down all my hard work. All the comments just made me work harder.

jdyg81

Nobody ever wants to hear the secret to weight loss involves doing work.

Yes no such thing as a magic pill

MyzGina

Maybe it's not all jealousy. Maybe it's their way of saying I'm inspired by your progress show me how I don't know where to start.

Or Could it be you that's cocky about your progress and think everyone is jealous when they probably also can careless.

jennifer_417

Weight loss is hard. So hard, in fact, that most people think that it can't really be done, at least not the right way. So, yes, they probably are jealous...and a bit incredulous. I'd take it as a compliment.

jennifer_417

I think they're jealous of me with or without weight loss. So much jealousy everywhere. They're just haters,, right?

I'm jealous of you.

Me too! Dos abs dough....

hararayne

I've posted about it a couple times on Facebook when I hit a big milestone, and there's been two people who ask me every time what I'm doing. I tell them I've been counting calories and exercising, but I suppose they think I must be doing something new and special in order to keep losing weight. Nope, I just didn't give up.

I've asked people what they do to lose weight. It's not that I'm lookingfor a special cure all. More that I'm curious what they changed, and what exercise activities they enjoy. I'm never ever down playing their accomplishments when I ask. Losing weight takes a certain mind set, and usually we need to trick ourselves to keep going, like hiding fun activities into our workouts, or I heard one girl on here watched portions very closely, lifted weights and ate one serving of icecream every single day without fail.

Not just to you, but everyone on here getting upset about people being jealous. Wasn't that a small part of the point? While I don't doubt that their are people that are snarky, it IS NOT as simple as I ate less and moved more. There are psychological processes at work that people are curious about because they haven't had those processes yet. Don't assume when someone asks that they are being rude or thinking that you took diet pills. Maybe they want to know how you stayed motivated, what activities inspired you to keep being active, what foods satiated you. Catch my drift?

gillmitch

I think that sometimes as much as you don't want to be jealous it's a natural reaction ,My sister had a gastric bypass almost 2 years ago and I wanted with every inch of my being not to be jealous because I was really really happy for her but there it was jealousy not like horrible remarks or hating her for it but it made me hate myself and it's one of the main reasons that I'm on this journey myself.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that maybe when your thinking that your friends are not happy for you and your weight loss really its themselves that there not happy with .

jenilla1

... Why do people have to be so jealous of your hard work?...

Because your success reminds them of their failure. That's not your problem, though, it's theirs, so don't make it yours. I try not to worry about stuff that I can't control. Just be proud of the progress you've made! :flowerforyou:

Amiike

My younger sister always prided herself in having a better body than me. As I started to lose weight, many people started to comment on how alike we look and a few even mistook me for her. Now, I weigh twenty pounds less than she does and she said she feels upset just seeing me sometimes. I think the jealousy some people have for weight loss is because they feel bad that they have not been able to accomplish what you have.

I guess they feel bad because they define their selfworth only through their weight.

KNJMAMA

I don't know if they're jealous but a fellow school run mum has asked me why I was exercising - I'd put up a status on Facebook about doing my Zumba DVD'S - and if I was happu ir not. I guess the synopsis is that you must be unhappy to want to lose weight?!? I'm quite the opposite. I like myself, I'm just worried about my health failing me if I get bigger or older.
Then there's the MIL who always offers me cake and bacon sandwiches. Not that I can't have but I choose not to. Just seems like she's sabotaging my efforts.
I've since learnt not to put anything on Facebook and say no to MIL.

SadFaerie

Yes. I'm not quite sure whether it's jealousy, but I'm recently experiencing a lot of hating. I'm shedding fat now, so it appears like I suddenly gained a lot of muscle, but it wasn't any "suddenly", it was a round year of work, but along with muscles I gained fat covering them. Started cutting about two months ago and now I hear rumors that I'm taking "stuff", and that I'm a hypocrite telling everybody that I work hard and count every calorie, when I'm in fact taking prohormones, steroids or what not... Geeze, some people...

BonnieandClyde29

Why do you automatically assume that they are jealous? Sounds like some are concerned and some are intrigued.

It is far more likely that YOU want them to be jealous of you.

You are always twisting **** in threads I see, or being very negative in general. A LOT of people get jealous because they don't want to do any hard work believe it, or not, or they get discouraged easily so when they see someone's success they think what the hell, how come that didn't work for me, hence the jealousy.

BonnieandClyde29

I guess what i'm trying to say is that maybe when your thinking that your friends are not happy for you and your weight loss really its themselves that there not happy with .

^^^THIS!!!

paulperryman

i dunno about jelous i get compliments all the time now but i also get people questioning my routine and trying to get me to have cheat foods all the time and get ****ty when i refuse

xginanax

Jealousy must hurt for her that much! what kinda friend is she? friends should be happy for each other success. Sad that this world is filled with hatred. Do your thang!

LeanneGoingThin

I'm not sure if it's jealousy, but people do ask me how I do it. Nothing ridiculous though. They usually ask about exercise and diet. For example if I still eat unhealthy at times (they know I do) and how in spite of that I'm still losing weight. I don't get into the calorie counting with them, but I do tell them that if I ate something high in calories, I'll just eat less food for dinner. Smaller portions.

Widadita

Totally feel you! I have a good friend of mine who will barely talk to me since I lost weight. She is pissed at me.

She's not a good friend then!!!

WanderingPomme

Some people thought I had liposuction or took diet pills *shakes her head*

Also, some of my friends look at me weird when I say no to a piece of fried mozzarella sticks or to a glass of whiskey or order a salad. Some people can't accept that it's a lifestyle now! It's no longer a diet but a healthy lifestyle. I want to be healthy. Sure, I could eat the mozzarella or have the whiskey even if it fits my calories within the day but the thing is, I choose not to. Why would I have something that I don't really feel like eating? Now if it's apple pie being offered... it's a different story. Lol

WanderingPomme

I never knew losing weight would turn your friends into .. well.. frenemies.

^^ THIS. I totally know how you feel. It's shocking! I never expected it. EVER.

mspoopoo

I think I was pretty naive about people too.

I have found if someone thinks you are at their level or beneath them, you are ok in their book but if you gain some success at something and they perceive you as better, then most people get mean about it. Many people are miserable jealous sods and resent other's successes.

terryrh

Think we've all got one or two friends or family members who are odd about our weightloss, i know i have both

nboks

I also get a lot of compliments and questions on how I lost weight which I always answer honestly (exercise and diet!). I think jealousy is too much to describe my colleagues but getting them inspired to do the same actually feels good!

One of my best buddies at work is now doing MFP as well (he's starting at 220 lbs!) and I am really looking forward to his results (We are doing some jogging later today).

Also, a group of 8 office mates started a Biggest Loser office pool where they will chip-in (20$ each for a prize pool) and the person with the biggest weight loss in 2 months gets the prize!

nyqueensguy

well, if you do find a pill to make you thin and muscular let me know. I'll take a case.

Samstan101

I guess I'm lucky in that pretty much everyone has been really supportive even to the extent of people at work (who i don't really know as there's 700 of us on site) coming up and complimenting me and wishing me luck. I've only had one collegue/ friend get a bit funny with me. Unless people have asked or I've been in a postion where I've had to explain why I didn't want a birthday doughnut I've not discussed my diet but this one individual seemed to see it as a threat/ competition. They'd come in and tell me how much they'd lost that week which I was really supportive of (if inwardly a little sceptically, as they ate junk, didn't exercise and looked no different). Once they'd got to the stage of supposedly losing 2st (and looking like they'd gained weight if I'm honest) they stopped mentioning it but would come out with comments like "you're fading away" and "you don't want to lose much more". To put it into perspective I'm still about 100lbs overweight! I think I can lose a bit more without appearing anorexic! Oh well, her problem and not mine.

OddballExtreme

I've been pretty lucky. Most of my family is proud of my weight loss, and the majority of my co-workers are also proud of my weight loss. When they asked me my secret, I just said, "Changing my eating habits, water, and exercise. Good ol' fashion hard work." It took me a year to lose 50 pounds because I preferred to do it right rather than quick. Everyone could see how well I was doing, and my weight loss has actually inspired other co-workers to get healthy, too.

Of course, there's that one temp who wanted to tempt me with the "21-calorie doughnut," which is actually 190 calories and has 21 carbs.

Gee_24

Oh God yes.

My flatmate had been on holiday for a week, then went to her boyfriends for 4 days. In that time I lost around 6 lbs.

First time she saw me it was " Oh my GOD you look ill. And really gaunt. You look awful "

Not kidding. At 4ft 8 and 7.3 stone let me tell you I'd need to hit about 6 stone to hit the underweight category. But I know that she just doesn't like seeing me thin as I used to have anorexic tendencies so maybe it was her shock. I got interrogated on what I've been doing and some dodgy looks from her that evening. lol

I suppose its because she cares, but my work colleagues are quite the same. I'm pushed and pushed to eat at work but as my calories are so precious to me I don't want to waste them on food that I have NEVER enjoyed. The works canteen is awful. But they all think I'm starving. So in my case its a little different I suppose. But all reactions have been negative thus far.

Never mind, I'm so proud of myself for doing this. I'm eating everything I want and love, in moderation. And never felt better.

socajam

Totally feel you! I have a good friend of mine who will barely talk to me since I lost weight. She is pissed at me.

Same here. A couple of friends actually who have refused to even acknowledge that I have lost weight. I am now giving the cold shoulder, cannot be bothered with their attitude.

Nala335

My co-workers say NOTHING about my weight loss. That's a bit disarming, and my parents who criticized me as too fat...were so concerned that I was not eating right when I lost weight. Its no win when you try to talk to doubters, I agree with the person above who just honestly said Meh...forget them. Or just say its REALLY easy when you exercise and watch what you eat and there's a magical site called MFP....but DON'T friend your family.