Starting Over... Kinda

elizabetht264

10 years ago I lost almost 100 Lbs ...I managed to keep the weight off for 5+ years and then when my best friend and 2 year later my mom passed away, I put more than half of it back on. As I have been working through the grief I've also come to understand more about the pattern of bingeing and restricting that I'd relied on for so long (forever, really).
It's so discouraging feeling like I've failed at being smaller, and at the same time trying to find a way to make healthier choices for both my body and my mind.

I'm looking to build a supportive little group of "friends" that isn't solely focused on the scale, clothing size or before and after photos.
Do you have tricks to both avoid bingeing and stay present in social situations?
How do you stay motivated to get stronger and know when you have pushed your body too hard at the gym (avoid injury)?
Do you know how to stay positive when the scale isn't reflecting your work at changing your diet or activity?
Are you able to put on larger/smaller size clothes without a full-on meltdown?
Will you SHARE your secrets with me!?
Will you FIND the secrets with me!?

ElizabethKalmbach

elizabetht264 wrote: »

Do you have tricks to both avoid bingeing and stay present in social situations?

I don't binge because I have to log what I'm eating and logging in public is a little weird for me - thus I examine my food options, log what I want to eat in a corner somewhere, and then eat what I logged and plated. Having to break my "groove" to log and replate is usually enough to keep me from getting out of hand.

elizabetht264 wrote: »

How do you stay motivated to get stronger and know when you have pushed your body too hard at the gym (avoid injury)?

Experience. The more you work out, the more in tune you will become with your body and individual sensations. The more times you have DOMs, the easier it becomes to distinguish muscle pain from a tendon injury or broken bone. At first, it's all just OMG, PAIN! As you gain experience in whatever activity you're doing, the muscle pain backs off, yet becomes a familiar companion that makes STRETCHING the most WONDERFUL thing ever. Start slow. Do not try to do all the exercise in one day. Like weight loss, fitness is a game of gradual, incremental improvements. It is not necessary to push your body too far to get good results. You just have to push a little on a very regular basis.

elizabetht264 wrote: »

Do you know how to stay positive when the scale isn't reflecting your work at changing your diet or activity?

The scale is just one measure of improvement that these lifestyle changes can invoke. You can lose inches, your cravings can lessen, your cholesterol can lower, your insulin resistance can vanish, your endurance can build, your sleep can improve, your resting heart rate can lower. The scale is but a single tool. Why limit yourself to only a hammer if you can also have a set of screw drivers and a torque wrench?

elizabetht264 wrote: »

Are you able to put on larger/smaller size clothes without a full-on meltdown?

I'm cold all the time, and I usually put on ALL the sizes of clothes, IN LAYERS, starting with the small ones and ending in the hoodie I stole from my husband. This is probably not a strategy for anyone who looks as fashionable as you do in your profile picture, but I've been wearing the same clothes for a 40 lb range of myself for the last decade or more.... I just feel like "dress like a slob!" is not the answer you want here... ;-)

Also, hi!

jim_n_virginia

I am starting over myself! Down 25 need to lose 50 more! Please feel free to add me!

jeagogo

I started over a few months ago, too, and depression and anxiety are definitely my enemies when it comes to getting in my own way and caring for my body. I'm definitely down to learn more secrets about how to maintain health even when things around me are falling apart, because that is what has resulted in all my weight gain in the past.

For social situations, I do find that I try a bit to avoid situations where there will be pressure to overeat. Instead, I try to create social situations where my friends and I will be physically active, like inviting friends for a hike or hitting the gym with a coworker during lunch instead of going out to eat. Thankfully I'm at that age where my whole group of friends are all pretty concerned about staying healthy as we grow older.

elizabetht264

ElizabethKalmbach wrote: »

Also, hi!

Wow! Thank you so much for such an insightful and kind reply! I'll definitely be implimenting some of these tips!

speyerj

Hi @elizabetht264,
I restarted on MFP on 6/4/19 after a long hiatus where I regained my entire 100 pound loss from 4 years ago and added a bit more for good measure. So I know a lot about the shame of 'failing'. Here's the thing - you've got to get out of the shame spiral real quick to meet your fitness goals. You didn't fail at being smaller, you had a relapse and now you are back on track, armed with a boatload of lessons from your previous experience that will help you succeed if you can learn from them. I normally really hate those inspirational posters that so many businesses have on their walls, but there is one at office that really speaks to me - especially as it applies to our fitness goals. Its a picture of a lion and the quote is, "I never lose, I ever win or I learn."

But you had some specific questions. @ElizabethKalmbach had some great advice. Here's my two cents:
Do you have tricks to both avoid bingeing and stay present in social situations? - Do not avoid social situations. Embrace them as a learning opportunity. If the food is going to be high carb, I make sure I eat a high protein meal or snack before I go - protein in my belly makes it easier to pass up yummy high carb food. And be fully present socially - did you ever think about how sometimes when we feel socially awkward we gravitate to the food table to avoid social contact. When you are engaged in conversation, you won't want to eat. Oh, and flavored vodka and soda water has 0 carbs.
How do you stay motivated to get stronger and know when you have pushed your body too hard at the gym (avoid injury)? - My first 30 days I only concentrated on food. Then I added walking. Later I added weights, then I added running. Baby steps. Listen to your body. Add one new thing at a time. It takes 30 days to form a new habit. Think about adding a new healthy habit each month.
Do you know how to stay positive when the scale isn't reflecting your work at changing your diet or activity? - I think Elizabeth said it best. Logging your food and moving your body is what will eventually show up on the scale. Use the scale but don't depend on it for validation or happiness
Are you able to put on larger/smaller size clothes without a full-on meltdown? - Just like the scale, your size is just a measurement.

Staying positive is really important throughout your journey. Work on recognizing negative thoughts and intentionally try to replace them with positive ones.

By the way. I've been logging consecutively for 177 days now and am down 63 pounds. 43.5 to go. You can do this - you know you can precisely because you've done it before.

AuntieGrandma

Wow, this seems like a good fit of a group for me. I can’t believe that I now have about 100 pounds to lose. I also binge and emotional eat due to many losses and heartbreak that have occurred over the last few years. Being physically this unhealthy on top of all of the emotional stress is a scary place to be. I am a 53 year old female in California.

Jamsalex30904

I too could use some support! I have been up and down all my life. I am now 325 lbs and starting the journey for the rest of my life starting today. I am determined to make changes to live healthier and happier. Feel free to friend me.