Relationship anxiety

Options
Just_Mel_
Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
in Chit-Chat
Does anyone else get relationship anxiety? Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy because I overthink and wonder "hey, do they still even like me??". I swear it's exhausting. I swore off dating for almost a year, now have been seeing someone for about a month. And this old stupid anxiety is creeping up again. :'( It's so much easier to just keep walls up and not even let anyone in.
Is this a real thing? Or is it just me?

Replies

  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    Options
    I agree with Reckoner and had a similar experience. In my marriage, both of us were questioning and that doesn't help overall. Ultimately, it didn't work. My ultimate feeling in that regard is to be secure in the fact that we love each other and love being around each other. Not to say taking it for granted or complacent, but not having to worry
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    Options
    My anxiety is definitely there. I dont want to ever be "stuck" in a relationship again. So I definitely flee the minute I feel things are not right. No real advice. I think though that over all how a person treats you or responds to simple things is something to pay attention to.
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    Options
    isalsayourface123 wrote: »
    My anxiety is definitely there. I dont want to ever be "stuck" in a relationship again. So I definitely flee the minute I feel things are not right. No real advice. I think though that over all how a person treats you or responds to simple things is something to pay attention to.

    I have fled as well. I may have been too sensitive to some things given feeling too numb to them in the past
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    Options
    Yes, it's a real thing, I'm the same way and it sucks. I would look up attachment theory and anxious attachment in particular. It definitely describes me at times.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Options
    So... I have this with people in general, not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well. It comes with the territory when you have generalized anxiety disorder and yes, it is 100% exhausting.

    I am probably not a good person to ask advice from as this is my general "every day" existence and has been my entire life, but I can tell you that while sometimes, you know the voice is not rational that is either telling you "something is wrong" or "it's time to flee", sometimes, that voice is still correct and it becomes hard to distinguish between the real and the imagined.

    "Does this person really care about me?"
    "Why don't they talk to me often? Why do I always have to initiate?"
    "They're just humoring me."
    "They're avoiding me because they don't like me and don't know how to tell me otherwise."
    "I feel I'm being used."

    Sometimes, these thoughts are imagined, but sadly (for me), sometimes they were the truth, too. And when the truth overtakes your imagined fears, it becomes VERY hard to go back and trust again.
  • GoJohnGo71
    GoJohnGo71 Posts: 439 Member
    Options
    That's why I won't date. Just prefer the occasional catch and release.
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    Options
    CanesGalactica wrote: »
    So... I have this with people in general, not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well. It comes with the territory when you have generalized anxiety disorder and yes, it is 100% exhausting.

    I am probably not a good person to ask advice from as this is my general "every day" existence and has been my entire life, but I can tell you that while sometimes, you know the voice is not rational that is either telling you "something is wrong" or "it's time to flee", sometimes, that voice is still correct and it becomes hard to distinguish between the real and the imagined.

    "Does this person really care about me?"
    "Why don't they talk to me often? Why do I always have to initiate?"
    "They're just humoring me."
    "They're avoiding me because they don't like me and don't know how to tell me otherwise."
    "I feel I'm being used."

    Sometimes, these thoughts are imagined, but sadly (for me), sometimes they were the truth, too. And when the truth overtakes your imagined fears, it becomes VERY hard to go back and trust again.

    This. Plus, overthinking and reading way too much into texts. I hate it about myself.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    edited November 2019
    Options
    My husband used to ask me all the time if I still loved him. At first, I thought it was due to something I was doing. I found out that his insecurity came from how his ex-wife had verbally abused him. That kind of treatment is long lasting.

    If you can, figure out why you do it. It will help.

    🧡
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
    Options
    It helps being a narcissist.

    *shrug
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,042 Member
    edited November 2019
    Options
    Relationships are hard just be yourself and let the chips fall - it takes me a minute to like someone cause I’m a skeptic - and i get in my head as you’re sayin t - just go with your gut be you and if it’s meant to be it’ll go your way 🤷‍♂️
  • mommabear4315
    mommabear4315 Posts: 3,424 Member
    Options
    Just_Mel_ wrote: »
    Does anyone else get relationship anxiety? Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy because I overthink and wonder "hey, do they still even like me??". I swear it's exhausting. I swore off dating for almost a year, now have been seeing someone for about a month. And this old stupid anxiety is creeping up again. :'( It's so much easier to just keep walls up and not even let anyone in.
    Is this a real thing? Or is it just me?

    Nope it’s an on going thing. After 22 years of marriage I still have that anxiety. The thing is you always have to keep working at the relationship whether is 1 month, 1 year or 20 years. Always work at it. Til this day it still feels like we’re dating except with joint bank accounts lmao. Good luck and don’t fret enjoy it. You’ll know if he’s your match.
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    Options
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    My husband used to ask me all the time if I still loved him. At first, I thought it was due to something I was doing. I found out that his insecurity came from how his ex-wife had verbally abused him. That kind of treatment is long lasting.

    If you can, figure out why you do it. It will help.

    🧡

    This.

Categories