Always starting

MelLC2019

I am a serial starter..... except that I never actually start. I always develop a plan (keto, 17 day diet, will just exercise and count calories, just choose healthy foods/portions and not worry so much, IF,etc.) then the day comes to start and before 11am I’ve already ruined my plan. Then my cycle starts over.. well I better overeat the rest of today because it’s back on track tomorrow. I’m just so frustrated with myself and worse yet continually gaining weight.

Currently my thought process is I’m going to take my son to the movies so I can’t start tomorrow and friends for dinner on Thursday so I can’t start then.... bottom line is those situations should not be an excuse for overeating. I am definitely an emotional eater as well, happy- eat, anxious-eat, bored- eat.. Well, I’m always going to have social events and emotions so I just need to STOP. This is all within my control and I’m officially starting to get embarrassed of my weight and my habits. I’m sick of talking about what I’m going to do and I’m sure people are sick of hearing it. I am going to be a “doer” starting now.

Not sure what my intent of this post is. Anyone else in the same situation or have been in the same situation? Let’s support each other.

JeromeBarry1

That's the point of this site. We share our experiences and the things we've learned. Just eat what you like. Log what you eat. Just be honest with logging.

Danp

Firstly tomorrow never comes so you start right now. Not at your next meal, not soon. This very moment. You've already started.

Secondly, your approach needs to be all encompassing and permanent. Going out to dinner or to the movies or all those other things that happen called 'life' need to be a part of the plan and therefore shouldn't be an excuse not to start, or continue.

primekayprime

I can relate, OP. I think you'll find many of us struggling to find our footing.

A tip that helped me to get started was to not try changing my whole life all at once. Habits take time to build and they take time to break. So, I created small goals and starting building on them. My first step started with just honestly logging my food. I didn't change anything else regarding my eating habits. I was just making a promise to myself to log it. This alone was sometimes overwhelming and even tedious when I first started. So, it was important to me that I got comfortable with this step before tackling anything else.

After about 2 weeks of logging consistently, I felt I was ready to work on my portion control. Controlling my portions started as simply as substituting some of my choices some of the time. For example, if I was going to the movies, instead of having my usual popcorn, candy, and soda, I would substitute the soda for water. A small step, but a step none-the-less. If I was going out to dinner, instead of eating a whole dessert, I would split it with the table. Another small step.

You have to start somewhere. Don't believe that it has to be a complete overhaul tonight. It can start with you just promising to honestly log your food.

You can do it.

Shortgirlrunning

Start simple. Choose one thing to do. I would suggest counting calories. You don’t even have to set a limit, just figure out your base, where you are at currently. Make that one thing a habit. Don’t give up just because you mess up/don’t get it perfect. Weight loss is about persistence not perfection.

Then slowly start adding in healthy habits. Set a step goal or aim to eat more protein. Whatever. And keep going. Don’t give up because of a bad day. If you keep going the good days will begin to out number the bad and you will see progress.

I also highly recommend the podcast We Only Look Thin. It’s hosted by a married couple who both lost over 100 lbs. They have a ton of awesome advice.

bananadoodle

Does anyone follow Rebelfit on Facebook? Ignore the fact that he spends a lot of time slating the slimming industry, which you may or may not agree with and read some of his explanations of why we overeat. I find it fascinating and these explanations have helped me find peace with food and my attitude towards it which has helped me in turn, eat less a lot of the time. I'm not perfect, I still binge occasionally and I think I always will but he explains why, which helps me not beat myself up and just carry on not "start again". There is no such thing as on and off the wagon.
Read a few of his posts and start to understand why you feel like you do and why you're a serial starter would be my advice.

Viking_Dad

Sounds to me like you've started once, but keep changing the plan (too soon).
Consistency is the key. And improvement is the keychain - my original catchphrase, feel free to use it 😉
There's only one way to lose weight, and that's eat fewer calories than you burn. How you do that matters less.
Doing keto but ate a bunch of carbs? That's ok, try to stay under your calories and do better next meal.
Trying IF but ate outside your window? That's ok, try to stay under your calories and maybe adjust your window to suit you better.
Did you "ruin" your plan by 11am? That's ok, try to keep calories down the rest of the day and try to make it to 12 tomorrow.
What if you "mess up" every day this week? Do you throw in the towel? No! Try to have a better week next week.
Keep chipping away at it. Little changes add up to a lot, and little improvements, if you are consistently trying, will soon have you on plan.

LyndaBSS

Don’t overthink it. It’s really not that difficult.

Eat the foods you love. Log them. Live your life. 🧡

TeaBea

Except you don't "ruin" anything.

A favorite motto "progress not perfection." You need to be mostly consistent. So what if you ate at maintenance instead of at a deficit for a couple days. So what if you ate carbs. Weight loss is ALWAYS about the calorie deficit.

You could zig-zag your calories. If weekends are hard, lower your weekday calories a bit to give some wiggle room for the weekends, or bank exercise calories for a restaurant meal. Perhaps look for a weekly deficit. You don't have to be "perfect" each and every day.

annliz23

LyndaBSS wrote: »

Don’t overthink it. It’s really not that difficult.

Eat the foods you love. Log them. Live your life. 🧡

Perfect advice!

sijomial

"Currently my thought process is I’m going to take my son to the movies so I can’t start tomorrow and friends for dinner on Thursday so I can’t start then.... "

I'm sorry but those are both pretty feeble excuses as I'm sure you know!
Almost as feeble as my excuse that I blamed the car driver that mangled my knee for getting fat (true to a degree) but he didn't visit me for 20 years force food in my cake hole. That was my responsibility and ultimately a choice I made, albeit passively.

Taking your son to the movies doesn't have to involve food - you are there to watch a film while sitting down, doesn't exactly need fuelling does it? That's a choice you get to make.
Even if you decide you want to involve food in the occasion why does that stop you being in a deficit that day?
You could even have that as a weight maintenance day, the only impact of that is getting to goal weight one day later. As opposed to never "starting" which means you never get there.

Ditto having friends for dinner. Of course enjoy the meal but it's just one meal in a day, just one day in the week. Maybe thinking of a weekly calorie allowance would give you more flexibility?
Enjoying a meal doesn't mean over eating.

Have a serious think what losing weight actually means (being in a calorie deficit over an extended period of time) and you can see you can fit in everyday life. In fact that's a key part of making it sustainable over time.
But seriously start today, not tomorrow, not next week. That next mouthful of food you take is a choice.

Annagrace75

I love the advice about getting honest. That was my first step. When I first started logging my food, I didn’t log everything I ate. Even though I was the only one who was going to see my food diary, I wasn’t able to look at the truth about what I was eating. I was so used to lying to myself about my eating habits that it took me like two weeks to get honest with myself.

shelleysykeskeene

I remember when I started the kelfit diet and the lady called me on a Wednesday evening and said she had emailed me the exercise and diet plan and I was like great, I'll do the shopping this weekend and start the diet on Monday and she was like, no sorry, you do the shopping tomorrow, you start on Friday. I was shocked - who starts a diet over a weekend? And she said its not a diet it's a lifestyle - it doesn't matter when you start because you aren't ever going to stop or have a "day off", you will work out on alternating days and you will log your food daily forever. Scared the hell out of me. I have to do this forever? But yes, you do. You're going to eat for the rest of your life are you not? You need to fix your relationship with food. You want your body to carry you through life? You are going to need to move it and keep it strong and flexible so it can do that. It doesn't mean you can't have fun doing it though! The great thing about MFP is that you can eat whatever - as long as it's within your calories (but you have to be 100% honest when you log or you won't lose weight!) I still enjoy a kit Kat every night, a fancy coffee once a week, and once a month I go out with the girls for a cocktail and sushi or a burger and I'm still losing - slowly but it's consistently going down. If you are going to the movies and have to snack, take your own - an appropriate serving of popcorn just lightly salted and a diet soda. (I once took cereal, a spoon and yogurt into a movie). If you are having friends over for dinner, have the same food but smaller portions. (1 or 2 slices pizza and salad, burgers - have half the burger and 12 fries only or burger and salad on the side) Make small changes - one week cut out sugar from your coffee and switch to low fat milk. Next week keep doing that but now switch regular soda to diet soda and eventually to just water. Try drink between 2L and 4L water a day. Start working out (even if it's just a walk) just 15-20 minutes. Do that for a week. Then add 5 minutes on and so on. The more complicated you make it and the more deprived you feel the more likely you won't be able to sustain it. Feel free to add me as a friend, we can motivate each other