Hubby not excited about "ME" time

sarabear500

My hubby is very happy to see me exercising and eating healthier (especially by summer time😉). I'm excited about seeing results so soon and feeling better about myself mentally and physically.

He is NOT excited about me spending "ME" time. Yes your right...the dishes are not done yet because I spent the last hour and half doing calisthenics and JUST DANCE 2020(cardio). Holy crap that game is working for me. I'm easily burning 500 calories in an hour.

He's like you've been playing video games all day. Noooooo I haven't. I just finished exercising and now I'm having a 10 minute rest before I get onto my other household duties. He's upset about having to do chores because that hour and half I am not doing them. There are alot of chores when your a full time sitter and stay at home mom.

I'm not sure why it's okay for him to play his phone game alllll day, even during work breaks but taking time for me is a huge NONO.

I stood up for myself. Let him know this is what I'm doing, I said I would do it after 10 minute break. He couldn't wait so he's doing it himself. Fine by me. After all. I plan all the meals by myself, clean the whole house by myself, pay for all the food by myself, sew cloths for our whole family by myself... I'm pretty sure he could wait 10 minutes for me to wash dishes.

Do any other ladies or gentleman have this issue?

LyndaBSS

Sometimes it’s hard when a partner is used to a certain routine in the household and that routine changes.

You were right standing up for yourself. I’m glad you did that. If he wants to do the dishes, let him. He’ll get over it. 😉

mi_nina_lola

wait - you pay for all the food by yourself? and he does not assist with this?

Deadman_Diggingup

Tough *kitten* for hubby. Everyone deserves some “me” time.

KosmosKitten

... perhaps I'm harsh, but your hubby sounds like an *kitten*.

We live in the modern world. *kitten* needs to know how to and be expected to partake in household chores and tidying up as well as basic *kitten* like cooking.

Go you for standing up to him.

Tinydancer106

I think its important for you to take time for yourself and you explained it perfectly to me....so he may be feeling insecure and that's not your fault at all and I don't know your situation however I was in a similar situation where anytime I took time for myself it was strictly frowned upon and I was told throughout the whole said time I took for myself how frowned upon it was LOL I did not understand at the time how insecure my now ex felt about it.....i internalized it and stopped because I felt guilty ...which was dead wrong!!🙄

I would try and have a sit down with him and tell him during a time when you are both peaceful that exercise and your good health is very important to yourself and to your family so that you can be around for a long time and be a happy wife and mother for a long time.... explain that you need a few minutes or even a few hours to yourself and that things will get done eventually just as he takes time for himself Etc🤷

if you keep it in like I did.... or fight about it like others may have.... it may not be your best option. I know from experience communication is key and if you have somebody that is reasonable .....again like I did not ... then I think you have a good chance of both of you enjoying your new found Health and Fitness!😁👍

I wish you the best and sorry to run on about it but I remember those days girl and they were not fun.. wish you the best and I'm so proud of you! Hugs!🤗💕

Chef_Barbell

mi_nina_lola wrote: »

wait - you pay for all the food by yourself? and he does not assist with this?

This is my question too 🤔

mommabear4315

Actually my husband was like I’m going to lose weight as well. I told him good at least you will be healthy. Once he saw I was doing it for my well being he was on board and supportive. Good luck.

sarabear500

My sister (who live with me and has social behavior illness) gives me a portion of money weekly as "rent". I usually use that and a third of my income to purchase groceries for my 2 children and 3 adults. The rest of my paycheck goes to him to pay for bill's.
Grocery trips are usually $125 a week. I plan every single meal to make sure we all have enough.

The meat:
Hubby is pretty good about chores around the house. He comes home and usually does one chore to help out. It can be anything. Taking out the trash or doing some dishes or keeping the kiddos distracted so I can finish up other chores. I have noticed he starts asking me to do things during or as soon as I am done exercising. It's very very weird! Like to the point of nagging me to do something. I tell him I am doing something. I'm investing in me right now. I k6et the kids and or hubby exercise with me. I make it fun. He enjoys it when he's doing it with me. It's like he doesnt want me to exercise unless all household duties are done first. As though though my ME time should be reserved for when he feels it's appropriate. What's that about folks? He is a fantastic husband and father. Faithful, hard working, loyal, even stands up for me concerning in laws! This is my only true complaint so I have it pretty good. A little insight would be lovely.

DecreasingDuchess

sarabear500 wrote: »

My sister (who live with me and has social behavior illness) gives me a portion of money weekly as "rent". I usually use that and a third of my income to purchase groceries for my 2 children and 3 adults. The rest of my paycheck goes to him to pay for bill's.
Grocery trips are usually $125 a week. I plan every single meal to make sure we all have enough.

The meat:
Hubby is pretty good about chores around the house. He comes home and usually does one chore to help out. It can be anything. Taking out the trash or doing some dishes or keeping the kiddos distracted so I can finish up other chores. I have noticed he starts asking me to do things during or as soon as I am done exercising. It's very very weird! Like to the point of nagging me to do something. I tell him I am doing something. I'm investing in me right now. I k6et the kids and or hubby exercise with me. I make it fun. He enjoys it when he's doing it with me. It's like he doesnt want me to exercise unless all household duties are done first. As though though my ME time should be reserved for when he feels it's appropriate. What's that about folks? He is a fantastic husband and father. Faithful, hard working, loyal, even stands up for me concerning in laws! This is my only true complaint so I have it pretty good. A little insight would be lovely.

To be honest I don't believe, that he's actually happy that you're dieting & exercising, as you believe. It seems that he's intentionally sabotaging your efforts, via an insecurity that you might leave him for someone else. It's unfortunately common.

sarabear500

That sounds like what I was thinking. His ex wife started to get toned, go to the gym, started making the wrong kind of friends though...she lost some weight... left hubby for some horrible guy she worked with...for a one night stand after 7 years of marriage. The guy later stole a bunch of hubby's stuff after the divorce. She gave him the key too. Stole some of her stuff too and pawned it. I think he is happy for me (because of what I will look like) but at the same time horribly insecure due to has ex wife. I just needed a sou doing board. Specific Thanks to Decreasing Duchess and Thank you posters

DecreasingDuchess

sarabear500 wrote: »

That sounds like what I was thinking. His ex wife started to get toned, go to the gym, started making the wrong kind of friends though...she lost some weight... left hubby for some horrible guy she worked with...for a one night stand after 7 years of marriage. The guy later stole a bunch of hubby's stuff after the divorce. She gave him the key too. Stole some of her stuff too and pawned it. I think he is happy for me (because of what I will look like) but at the same time horribly insecure due to has ex wife. I just needed a sou doing board. Specific Thanks to Decreasing Duchess and Thank you posters

You're very much welcome! Plausibly a heart to heart conversation with him concerning your reason why you desire to improve yourself, hopefully'll reassure him.

klbrowser

He's an able-bodied healthy adult, right? If the dishes aren't done fast enough to suit him, he can do them himself. Otherwise, he can just get used to your new routine which includes some fun exercise. It's not like you are neglecting your kids or doing something unhealthy during your "me" time. In fact, if he does more of the chores while you are working out, you'll have more time for him, which is to his gain. Maybe tell him that by taking better care of yourself you are ensuring that your kids will have a healthier mom in the long run.

robbell678

You’re not owned by ANYONE..
Be happy with you. Others can get on board or walk the plank.
Common but crappy nonetheless so stay true to you.😁

bearly63

Sounds like you do more than 50% in the partnership. You have earned some me time and your health is just as important as clean dishes if not more. Keep on going, try to explain it to him, but agree with others that there is more to what he's thinking besides chores. Good luck....and keep dancing like no one is watching