I've been on depression medicines for years and it has made me put on a total of 55lbs. I am unemployed, single. I was so fit, successful and financially independent 8 years back. A bad relationship and family complications left me devastated. I gain and lose weight, but my will power is currently 0. I've kept my life at hold because of my weight. I know I was and will always be attractive, if I may say so, but I really need to get out of my room and meet people, relatives, friends. Recently my therapist, yes, my therapist dumped me. A terrible doctor prescribed zolpidem, leaving me addicted to the drug till date. I live with enablers, but I understand I am a full blown adult who needs to be accountable. Every night I tell myself tomorrow, every morning I take another sleeping pill and spend the day horizontal. I'm still not that far gone. I can totally get my life back. I will get my life back. I will seek support when I want to binge.
Zolpidem has a terrible side effect that makes one binge eat in almost this sleep walking state. I binge in this sleepy state at night. During the day I eat so healthy. However, if I lie down the whole day and night, and watch TV, obviously I will put on weight. I also get these pains all over because of lack of exercise. I don't give up. I try. And fail. I just hope this time I can succeed a few times more than I fail. That's it.