Not waiting around for the new year, guns are blazing now

hipari

...OK, realistically many changes might end up taking place next year, but still.

I’ve been yo-yoing between 90kg and 100kg for several years now, dipping below 90 once or twice and creeping over 100 for the first time this summer (for the Americans in here, 100kg is 220lbs). While doing this, I’ve also yo-yoed in and out of MFP and logging. My motivation is again kicking into overdrive, and I finally overcame my old thought of ”well, it’s the holiday season, this is when I always lay around watching movies and eating chocolate”. I can still do that in moderation, but why would I need to take an entire month off from any sensible habits to do that? I’m not a pig that needs to be fed so we’d have a good juicy ham for Christmas dinner (here in Finland, ham is the traditional Christmas dinner so fattening the pig is of cultural relevance to me, even though my family doesn’t eat ham).

Instead of waiting around until January, I’ve taken the following steps to correct my course immediately:
- the day I learned that my company healthcare package includes 3 nutritionist appointments, I booked an appointment with our nurse to get the required referral. The nurse’s appointment is tomorrow, so I might not get to see the nutritionist before January, but I’m already taking steps there
- I have a personal trainer and a training program which I’ve been doing for a while now, but I’ve been intensifying both the regularity and weights
- I decided to switch gyms as there’s a giant new fitness center opening near me and I’m unhappy with the customer service at my current gym. The new gym opens, you guessed it, January 1st, so that will happen immediately on the New Year
- My only Black Friday purchase this year was an online training program called Super Start (loose translation), which includes workouts, diet and mental / motivational videos from a therapist. I don’t do the workouts because I have a personalized program from my trainer already, but the diet is giving some nice guidelines before the nutritionist appointments and the therapist’s videos are good.
- I cleaned out my pantry today
- I took out all the habit changing self-help books I’ve bought previous times but haven’t read yet, so hopefully something will stick
- Went on a long walk today, and I’m considering getting a new pair of running shoes and starting to do cardio on a treadmill while winter is destroying the roads, to add on top of my weightlifting routine
- My office is in 9th floor, I finally built the stamina to take the stairs every morning (except the morning after leg day)

After this whole explanation, here’s the point: I finally decided to take things seriously and cut the ”now is not a good time” crap, and run with it immediately even though there are definite challenges like the 3 restaurant dinners I have next week that limit both food options and workout time. I have at least 20kg (about 45lbs) to lose, and every day I postpone things is also a day added to reaching the end goal. Now I’m attacking this issue on all fronts: diet, workouts and mental side / habits, making this a top priority.

I just needed to vent and open up, if anybody feels the same way about any part of this, feel free to add me as a friend (but include a message). If I don’t check back in on this thread soon, send me a virtual yell...

snowflake954

All your new habits seem to be good ones, but one thought I had while reading your thread is that you're concentrating heavily on exercise to lose the weight. This is very common. Weight loss is purely a calorie deficit. Plug your stats into MFP and get your daily calorie goal--stay within that everyday. Log in your exercise and you will get a bit more to eat. Exercise is very good for you and will give you a better body when you've lost the weight. Never give up and be persistent. Take your measurements and keep a weekly journal. It will come in handy down the line when weight loss stalls. You can visually see how many centimeters you've lost and where. Wishing you the best of luck.

hipari

Good point. I should definitely face the measuring tape and see how much I’ve gained since the last measurements, so I have a starting point.

I know actual weight loss progress is achieved mainly through controlling intake, but here’s what I have learned about myself: exercise and physical activity is the best way of keeping me in a good place mentally, and my mental bad place needs to have ALL the snacks. I’ve tried and tested the cycle countless time, and my vicious cycle is this: for whatever reason, whether legit or an excuse, I take a break from working out. Not working out for several days in a row makes me feel tired, sluggish and unfocused, which I remedy by taking in more energy from food, especially high-calorie yummy stuff that gives an instant boost. This creates a hangover-ish downfall further down the cycle, so I’m even more tired and sluggish and less likely to work out and more likely to crave external energy sources like chocolate.

So yes, I’m focused heavily on physical activity, for two reasons: Mostly it helps me eat sensibly and reduces cravings, and while losing weight I also want to work on physical fitness (stamina, strength and flexibility).

Chris_J99

Well done. This is a fabulous start. Keep logging those foods and exercise.
Maths will be your friend!
Keep it up!
😁💪🏼

shorepine

Hello, we have a lot in common. I started mid November myself, despite the looming holidays. I also have 45 lbs to lose. I also am extremely motivated for some strange reason. I also plan to watch movies and eat chocolate this holiday season, only in moderation. I also focus on exercise because of my overall health, not just weight loss. I'll add you as a friend, and maybe we can inspire each other when the going gets rough (and it inevitably will). We can do this.

hipari

Whoa, such a rollercoaster of a day. Eating was definitely not on point and I went over my calorie budget, even though I did stay under maintenance.

I got the nutritionist appointment for the beginning of January, and got a medicine prescription renewed today. I also walked up to the 9th floor office twice. The rollercoaster part is that I skipped the gym because my husband wanted to skip and caught me on a weak moment, but seeing this thread and the encouragement from you guys reminded me of what I really want. Luckily the husband made up for his skipping idea by cooking dinner while I did a workout video at home.

Tomorrow I might have to take a break from work just to do the stairs an extra time... I have a dinner meeting with work so I’ll probably be home after 10PM, there’s no workout time, and I’m having dinner at a really nice restaurant.

shorepine

@hipari the good thing about really nice restaurants is that the portions are usually small! Can you look at the menu ahead of time and plan what you're going to order? I always find that helps me so I don't make impulsive decisions based on what other people are ordering.

Sorry about husband wanting to skip the gym- do you have to go together? Either way, it sounds like you got in a workout anyway- so that's good.

hipari

Dinner went well, and by some good karma I didn’t even gain any bloat for today’s weigh in. It was easy in a sense that it was a fine dining place that only had two or three options per course, and the portions were indeed pretty small. We did have wine and post-dinner cocktails, though.

We don’t HAVE to go to the gym together with my husband, and I sometimes go alone, but if you have planned to go together, aren’t really feeling like going and are counting on support from the other person and the accountability of going together with someone else, it’s hard to switch the mindset to going alone when they cancel at the last minute.

My throat is kinda sore, so I really hope I’m not getting sick. This week is way too busy for that, and I want to enjoy my weekend without being sick.

hipari

Checking back in just to open up a little...

The last three days have definitely NOT been good with food or exercise, or even sleep. Instead, I was unexpectedly forced to work big on mental health and taking care of issues there. One of my closest colleagues (both personally close and working together closely) quit without advance notice, which sent me into a complete meltdown of inconsolable crying and not being able to sleep. I’m so happy I did start listening to myself and what I was actually wailing about, and literally took notes. Most of the stuff didn’t actually have anything to do with her as a person or how I’ll miss her, but rather with my workload being unmanageable, lack of appreciation, support and understanding of my tasks and how my job includes taking care of everyone else but nobody takes care of me in any way.

My boss had already seen me shed some I-miss-you tears during my colleague’s last afternoon, so he at least had the common sense to ask if I was feeling any better the next morning. At that point I had spent the last evening and night being an inconsolable mess and not sleeping, so my zero-self-control-self answered by yelling ”well I bawled my eyes out all night and haven’t slept at all” while running to the nearest bathroom and slamming the door. With the issue on the table and the worst burst of emotion already out, we had a good honest discussion about the situation and issues that were causing me to start burning out, and we have some concrete steps laid out to ease the situation, with the biggest one being that we are hiring a part-time assistant for the executive team but about 80% of the assistant’s working hours will be allocated to take tasks off my table. My boss was also pretty honest about the fact that he hadn’t really realized the situation with nobody actually expressing appreciation for the work that I do (the thanks I get keep being about the random extra crap like ”thank you for booking this restaurant table”) or giving me support with all the struggles and pressures that come with being in the executive team and taking care of everybody else and nobody really taking care of me, and he said he will clear time from his own schedule so we can have a regular breakfast or lunch ”date” to just talk, even though it will take him a few weeks to sort out his schedule.

I feel so much better already, even though nothing will help the immediate situation, knowing that help is coming in the future. I just slept for 10-11 hours and I can spend the weekend resting and taking care of myself. I also have only one week of work left, and then I’m on vacation for two and a half weeks!

Katmary71

I'm glad you had a good talk with your boss and got some rest. Sounds like you have a good, relaxing weekend planned! Glad your dinner went well.