So proud of me! (long but from the heart)

freyaheart · August 2013

I am really proud of what I have accomplished thus far with everything. I honestly thought when I had started my weight loss journey that I would be at least under 200 pounds right now.

but it is so much more than just the number at my feet. I have improved so much over time. I started doing 5K races far earlier that I ever thought I would. The first race I wanted to attempt hasn’t even come to pass yet and is actually still 3 months away and will be my 4th race.

My clothing sizes have changed, I’m stronger, I’m faster and I haven’t really gotten seriously sick since I started my journey. I feel better than I have ever felt! I really don’t know what things are going to be like come Thanksgiving when my next 5K is but I think it can only get better from here as long as I keep at it.

My biggest achievement yet being my third place medal from my last race. I didn’t wake up that morning thinking to myself that I was going to come home with a medal and a keurig but the day could not have gone better. It was truly the best day I have had in probably a year.

The best part about everything now has got to be the fact that my exercise is really helping my depression. I know I can put on a really strong front to the point that I can fool almost anyone but deep down inside I can be dealing with some really messed up stuff. The inside of my mind can be a really dark and scary place but thankfully that is nothing a good long walk can’t cure.

I pick myself up by the sports bra, lace up my shoes and hit the treadmill. It is an instant brain dump. I just focus on my music or what ever is on the tv in front of me and just check out for a while. I love it.

Sure their are time I am saying to myself “Why the hell am I putting myself though this?” But I never regret a workout.

I have people telling me on a pretty regular basis that I am noticeably thinner and I mostly think of that as they know I am trying to lose weight and they are just being nice. Then I think about it later or the next day and I see it myself.

You can even spot when I am doing it. Watch me at work. I’ll walk over to the mirror near the front door and look at myself at a few different angles, I’ll put my hands on my hips and pull my apron stings just a little bit fighter to highlight my smaller waist.

Little by little it’s coming off even if I don’t think it is. I need to keep reminding myself of that sometimes and not get to wrapped up in the fact that I still have a muffin top.

I just need to keep reminding myself that it is not just about the scale. Sure I want to lose the pounds and look like a model but it is so much more than that and sometimes I forget.

So when I have a man say to me “You’re face looks thinner” and then ask the girls to verify this and on of them says “I don’t see it in your face I see it in your waist and hips” I can just know that I am getting hotter! That’s right the outside will match the inside soon. I am so humble sometimes.

I am ready for fall to come because I need new pants none of my old ones fit anymore. So I know for a fact that I have to be doing something right, or my husband has be letting out my clothes without me knowing. Let’s hope it’s the first part……

So I think I have actually gone on long enough and I really appreciate if you read the whole thing this far. If it wasn’t positive input from my friends I don’t know if I would be where I am today. So thank you.