Should we try to make friends with the resolutioners?
Replies
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liftingbro wrote: »littlegreenparrot1 wrote: »Some will probably disagree with me on the following point. That's okay, as I don't think it's central to the issue at hand.
I personally think we should be amiable and open to making friends, but without treating the gym as a social club. Some of you know what I'm talking about. A lot of people do treat the gym as a place to hang out with friends, and I think that's ultimately detrimental. It's not that you can't have friends there, but that it's not meant to be a place for socializing.
Some posters have complained about this sort of thing. Chatty cathies who attend exercise classes, but who mostly gab throughout the class. People lounging on the equipment, chatting with their friends. And so forth. I personally find that this sort of behavior makes it harder for me to get my workouts done.
At the risk of sounding harsh, I don't want to encourage the notion that the gym is meant to be a place for hanging out and making friends. If you do make friends, that's great, but the gym is meant to be a place for hard work, not a hangout where you strike up long conversations with your buddies.
Again, feel free to disagree.
Absolutely, this makes me properly ragy in the pool.
I respect everyone's right to be there, I don't care how fast you move.
But if you are just going to stand and have a chat for 45 mins get out of my flipping way!
Yeah, already had to deal with the a new girl at the gym.
She used the squat rack for about 2hrs. That's rude enough as it is, but all but about 15 minutes of it was spent taking selfies, playing on her phone and then a friend showed up and she chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She brought a blanket and had her bag in the back of the rack too and was camping out after each set. Oh...and each set was one rep and at least 10 minutes between each!
There isn't a button that accurately expresses my sympathy. Let's just say my first response was audibly saying, "two hours?!" and then putting my head in my hand 🤦♂️0 -
Unfortunately, that kind of behavior is more common among resolutioners. This may offend some, but IME it's true.liftingbro wrote: »
She used the squat rack for about 2hrs. That's rude enough as it is, but all but about 15 minutes of it was spent taking selfies, playing on her phone and then a friend showed up and she chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She brought a blanket and had her bag in the back of the rack too and was camping out after each set. Oh...and each set was one rep and at least 10 minutes between each!
This has nothing to do with being a mere beginner. It has everything to do with being a beginner who hasn't done basic research on exercise and who doesn't approach the gym with a determined mindset. For obvious reasons, that's going to be more prevalent among people who wait until the holiday festivities to start.
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Unfortunately, that kind of behavior is more common among resolutioners. This may offend some, but IME it's true.liftingbro wrote: »
She used the squat rack for about 2hrs. That's rude enough as it is, but all but about 15 minutes of it was spent taking selfies, playing on her phone and then a friend showed up and she chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She brought a blanket and had her bag in the back of the rack too and was camping out after each set. Oh...and each set was one rep and at least 10 minutes between each!
This has nothing to do with being a mere beginner. It has everything to do with being a beginner who hasn't done basic research on exercise and who doesn't approach the gym with a determined mindset. For obvious reasons, that's going to be more prevalent among people who wait until the holiday festivities to start.
I think it's more than that actually. You can be a beginner who hasn't done much if any research and still not have the large amount of entitlement that it takes to hold up a piece of equipment that other people want to use for two hours while seemingly curling up in a blanket for 10 min between each set. That's not event addressing the issue of half an hour of chatting with a friend and 15 min of selfies.1 -
Unfortunately, that kind of behavior is more common among resolutioners. This may offend some, but IME it's true.liftingbro wrote: »
She used the squat rack for about 2hrs. That's rude enough as it is, but all but about 15 minutes of it was spent taking selfies, playing on her phone and then a friend showed up and she chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She brought a blanket and had her bag in the back of the rack too and was camping out after each set. Oh...and each set was one rep and at least 10 minutes between each!
This has nothing to do with being a mere beginner. It has everything to do with being a beginner who hasn't done basic research on exercise and who doesn't approach the gym with a determined mindset. For obvious reasons, that's going to be more prevalent among people who wait until the holiday festivities to start.
I think it's more than that actually. You can be a beginner who hasn't done much if any research and still not have the large amount of entitlement that it takes to hold up a piece of equipment that other people want to use for two hours while seemingly curling up in a blanket for 10 min between each set. That's not event addressing the issue of half an hour of chatting with a friend and 15 min of selfies.
What's probably most irritating to me, along with the two hour in the rack, is taking 15 mins selfies just to post on social media like "Everyone look at me in the gym!!!" and then not show up at the gym until next New Year.
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liftingbro wrote: »littlegreenparrot1 wrote: »Some will probably disagree with me on the following point. That's okay, as I don't think it's central to the issue at hand.
I personally think we should be amiable and open to making friends, but without treating the gym as a social club. Some of you know what I'm talking about. A lot of people do treat the gym as a place to hang out with friends, and I think that's ultimately detrimental. It's not that you can't have friends there, but that it's not meant to be a place for socializing.
Some posters have complained about this sort of thing. Chatty cathies who attend exercise classes, but who mostly gab throughout the class. People lounging on the equipment, chatting with their friends. And so forth. I personally find that this sort of behavior makes it harder for me to get my workouts done.
At the risk of sounding harsh, I don't want to encourage the notion that the gym is meant to be a place for hanging out and making friends. If you do make friends, that's great, but the gym is meant to be a place for hard work, not a hangout where you strike up long conversations with your buddies.
Again, feel free to disagree.
Absolutely, this makes me properly ragy in the pool.
I respect everyone's right to be there, I don't care how fast you move.
But if you are just going to stand and have a chat for 45 mins get out of my flipping way!
Yeah, already had to deal with the a new girl at the gym.
She used the squat rack for about 2hrs. That's rude enough as it is, but all but about 15 minutes of it was spent taking selfies, playing on her phone and then a friend showed up and she chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She brought a blanket and had her bag in the back of the rack too and was camping out after each set. Oh...and each set was one rep and at least 10 minutes between each!
"May I work in ?"
"Oh... but I'm using this equipment."
"No You're Not."5 -
I think it's great to smile and say hello. A simple "Hi, how are you" is fine. But I think approaching out a newbie at the gym, who might already be anxious and worried that people are watching/judging them, is probably not the best idea. That would have made me more self-conscious about going to the gym in my obese, out of shape days. If you're open to conversation and you establish yourself as an approachable person, then people can choose whether to approach you.
I just said something similar to this in the other thread. I could not agree more.
(And imagine if you welcomed someone assuming they were a newbie and they turned out to just be someone who normally worked out at a different time!)
I’ve been injured more times than I can count and after each rehab, I’ve ended up doing my return to running plan at the high school track. By pure coincidence, I ended up doing that portion of my training in January-3 years in a row. The last year one of the other (Chatty) track-users said “back at it for another try this year?” In a casual, friendly way. It took me a bit to realize he assumed I was a failed resolutioner back for another year. He seemed genuinely surprised when he saw me several times later in the year. Meh.
Also (referencing injury rehabs) have had times where I thought I might need to join a gym because although I have a fully outfitted gym in my basement, I don’t necessarily have equipment that is appropriate for use during rehab from all of my assorted injuries. So I would have joined somewhere at an astronomical month to month rate - and stayed for the 6 (maybe) weeks that I needed to before I could safely workout in my home gym.
Another gym dropout....
I don’t see any reason to be openly hostile to anyone. Nor to be presumptive about anyone’s attendance patterns or start date. I also don’t see any reason to try and make friends with anyone just because (especially based on assumptions).
It doesn’t cost anything to be a kind human-but that should be regardless if you’re interacting with a new person or someone that’s been there 20 years.
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A lot of new faces this evening but not super crowded. I just wish these new people would learn to wipe off the equipment 🙄. I think I may try and get my butt there in the morning instead of after work. At least for a while until it inevitably thins out.0
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I think it's more than that actually. You can be a beginner who hasn't done much if any research and still not have the large amount of entitlement that it takes to hold up a piece of equipment that other people want to use for two hours while seemingly curling up in a blanket for 10 min between each set. That's not event addressing the issue of half an hour of chatting with a friend and 15 min of selfies.
That's a totally valid point. I think it falls under the general category of "not working out with the right mindset" that I mentioned earlier.
Let's face it. Someone who has resolve and genuinely wants to make progress isn't going to waste time with a ton of selfies and excessive chatting. Those are the earmarks of people who figure they should go to the gym, but don't have their head in the game and don't really want to pour in the sweat equity.
Which raises another point. Well-intentioned, magnanimous people often defend the resolutioner onslaught by saying, "At least they're trying! At least they want to make a change!" That's not totally without merit. Honestly though -- and I know that this will anger some people -- I'm not terribly impressed with merely wanting to make a change. After all, just about anyone will say that they want to be thinner, or stronger, or otherwise in better shape. The question is, are they willing to do what's required to accomplish that goal?
Nor do I think that simply "trying" is particularly praiseworthy. After all, if you give up after a few days, did you really try? In a sense, perhaps, but not by much. It's like trying to do a 5K race but giving up after the first hundred feet. It may be "trying" in a general sense, but it's not a sign of significant resolve.2 -
I've lived in my area for a number of years and know a fair number of people at my gym from work, kid's school, church, etc., and will sometimes step out of the way and visit for a few minutes during a workout.
The last 2 "strangers" that approached me and tried to start a conversation were Advocare MLM clowns.
Don't need friends like that.0 -
Lol, it's my job to do so. One thing I can say though, there are many regular gym members who are very annoyed by them. Gotta remember that that person who looks lost on a piece of equipment was them at one time. A little help with them goes a long way and puts a good impression.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Unfortunately, that kind of behavior is more common among resolutioners. This may offend some, but IME it's true.liftingbro wrote: »
She used the squat rack for about 2hrs. That's rude enough as it is, but all but about 15 minutes of it was spent taking selfies, playing on her phone and then a friend showed up and she chatted with her for about 30 minutes. She brought a blanket and had her bag in the back of the rack too and was camping out after each set. Oh...and each set was one rep and at least 10 minutes between each!
This has nothing to do with being a mere beginner. It has everything to do with being a beginner who hasn't done basic research on exercise and who doesn't approach the gym with a determined mindset. For obvious reasons, that's going to be more prevalent among people who wait until the holiday festivities to start.
IMO, it's just young folks these days being generally inconsiderate of fellow gym members. Primary concern is social media image and not that they may be inconveniencing people in the gym. I've noticed this isn't really a problem with the 30+ year old folks. This young lady is probably 20ish.1
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