*Bikini*Progress*30 lbs Lighter*Happy*Photo*

SDkitty

Hi everyone! I realize that 30 lbs might not seem like much of a success story but that weight represents so much more for me than just weight loss.

I was always a fairly thin young woman so I never really worried about weight. I was involved in team sports and loved to run. I ate whatever I wanted. Then I made a really big mistake and entered a relationship with a very emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive man. Although I was barely 135 lbs back then ('m 5'8") he would tell me that I was getting too chunky and that he didn't find me attractive anymore. I should have walked away but I was weak and began years of bodily torture to myself. Starving myself constantly when he was around so he would be proud, and then feeling guilty anytime I did eat and throwing it up. Working out with so few calories that I always felt weak, but drinking so much with my friends that I never really appeared to lose weight.

Eventually I ditched him when I found out he had a second "girlfriend" but sadly this made all of my bad behaviors spiral out of control. I had to move out of our condo and move in with my emotionally abusive Mother and began to drink so heavily that I could go through an entire box of wine in a single night. I began to gorge myself because food and alcohol were my only rewards. I stopped working out. I let myself dive headlong into depression and my body ballooned.

It was a vicious cycle of eat to feel better-->feel guilty instead-->drink-->gain weight-->get more depressed-->eat...

Eventually after a lot of stuff I won't bore you with, I had had enough and I got help. I got sober, I started eating healthier, slowly but surely started going to the gym again. Today I have been sober 22 months. I am down to 140 lbs. This weekend I went to a water park with my fiance who treats me with love and respect. I control my ED. I still have bad days where I feel disgusted with myself because I'm not super thin anymore but they are much fewer than before. I can lead a normal life today and eat what I want without hurting myself.

I owe a lot of that to the support of you guys. MFP. I honestly don't know how I would have survived the last two years without you Thanks everyone!

airdale8263

Keep up the good work on both counts - weight and sober!!!

asalembier

You look amazing, and more importantly you are happy, and by the sounds of it proud of your journey! That is an awesome change. I have been down the same road and am now finding the strength within me to break all those bad habits and ED I picked up while losing my emotional self.

Way to go!

SDkitty

Thank you guys! :blushing: