Needing support/advice

butterfly_2019

Hi All

I really want to get serious about losing this weight but I'm stuck in that cycle of sticking to it for 2-3 days then I eat something "bad" and the whole cycle begins again and again and I'm kinda fedup of it as I've been like this for a good 12 months but I don't quite know how to get myself out of this. I've even on Monday joined WW's thinking that old chestnut of "maybe a different app will help me lose" but deep down I knew after a few days of sticking to it I'd eat something "bad" then feel bad, feel like a failure, tell myself I'm stupid for eating the "bad"...The "bad" I refer to was a bag of walkers crisps, a bounty bar and a slice of cake last night and the minute I ate I get all those negative feelings and thinking why can't I just stick to it!!!!

I recognise this issue myself but I can't seem to stop feeling like this. For reference, I'm 12st 2lb, 5ft 3in, 35yrs and want to lose maybe 24lb at the most. I don't like exercise (or so my mind tells me) but I WANT to exercise but that motivation is just not there or I think about working out that much that I end up talking myself out of it. I walk approx 11k steps per day (45min morning commute and 30min evening commute), I have a desk job but because of my steps I set my activity level to Lightly Active which gives me 1520 daily calorie goal. I love wine, I have wine Friday and Saturday and will include this in my calorie goal....When I'm focused I am sooo focused but that usually lasts 2-4 days then I eat something that my mind says is bad and I end up eating crap and thinking "I'll start again tomorrow"...I just dont want to be in this position anymore.

I've overloaded my brain/mind that much with research/videos/blogs on Intermittent Fasting, Low Carb, High Fat, how 0% fat stuff is't good for you and we should eat more fats and less carbs and now I feel bad following weightwatchers because they are up for all this 0% fat and low fat foods (they are less points) and when I'm eating 0% fat greek yogurt I'm like "oh god, imagine all the sugar in this now"......Arrrggghhhh!

I just don't know what to do or how to learn to be kind to myself.

I also don't have any medical conditions or anything like that for me to follow a low carb diet as I did before my summer holiday and gained it all back again anyway!

Any advice from people who have been in similar situations would be greatly appreciated.

nighthawk584

You are making it more complicated than it should be.
Two guaranteed ways to lose weight are.

1. Staying at a consistent calorie deficit. You need to burn more calories than your take in. CICO
2. To do that, weigh everything you put in your mouth with a food scale. EVERYTHING.

The rest comes from inside you. You have to really want it and have the will power to stick with it.

midgetgrl72280

What I have found that helps is to take 1 bad habit at a time and replace it with a good habit. Slowly work in other swaps over time. Weight loss is a journey to a new life style. Don't beat yourself up over a bad binge, allow yourself some cheat days every once in a while.

jeagogo

If you find you have a struggle with the mental motivation aspect of changing your diet I would recommend checking out whether your health care provider has any resources. For example, I know mine offers behavioral therapy group sessions for weight loss that are great for people who have a challenging relationship with food. Something like that might help you with that "fluff it, I screwed up today so I might as well not try" reaction you've described.

lorrpb

Good for you for making this commitment! What foods do you label as “bad” that throw you off when you eat them? The solution is to stop categorizing foods as good and bad. Weigh your food and log the calories. Eat yo stay within your calories, including current “bad” foods. staying within your calories (or close) will enable you to lose weight. You can fine tune your nutrition (I.e. preferred and nonpreferred foods) later.

jenilla1

I don't really consider my treats to be "bad foods." But for the sake of this thread I'll just call them that.

I've lost weight and successfully maintained for about 8 years now by keeping it simple. You are over-complicating it. I eat my bad foods (actually mostly "good" nutritious food plus a little "bad" stuff thrown in for fun) but I make sure it fits within my calorie goals. If I want more bad food, I simply exercise more to earn it. For example, I bake up cookies after my weekend long run. No harm done. No guilt, because I've done nothing wrong. I look forward to it.

Eating a piece of cake is not a failure and shouldn't be an easy excuse to quit. Eating a piece of cake is just a nice little treat now and then - totally acceptable. Not a failure. Every once in awhile, I have a day where I blow it. But it's just one day. I don't quit over a day or two of craziness. My long-term lifestyle choices are good the majority of the time, so a bad day here and there doesn't even affect me. I'm not here to punish myself. My mind is trained on success, not failure.

As long as you honestly log it all (even the bad days) and consistently stay at or near goal most of the time, bad foods can be a part of your weight loss program. (I eat chocolate every night and I'm at my ideal weight and body fat.) And if you need to take a break now and then, you can just eat at maintenance for awhile so (although you won't be losing) you won't undo any progress you've made and you can start right back up again where you left off when you're ready.

You've got this!

JadeMC42

I couldnt understand the weight you said you were at via this post but it looked like 122lbs? At 35 and 5ft 3? If that is correct I'd say you've already won! The others are right, dont beat yourself up over a couple bad days. If you feel you've eaten too much, maybe try you tubing a quick light intensity floor exercise video so that it doesnt FEEL so negative. Some movement, no matter how small, is better than none. Or even turn on some music and dance around in your kitchen as you prep lunch for work the next morning.

JadeMC42

Oh and please excuse my ignorance for not knowing that 12st meant 12 stone. Was not familiar with that measurement of weight.

holli1ch

butterfly_2019 wrote: »

Hi All

I really want to get serious about losing this weight but I'm stuck in that cycle of sticking to it for 2-3 days then I eat something "bad" and the whole cycle begins again and again and I'm kinda fedup of it as I've been like this for a good 12 months but I don't quite know how to get myself out of this. I've even on Monday joined WW's thinking that old chestnut of "maybe a different app will help me lose" but deep down I knew after a few days of sticking to it I'd eat something "bad" then feel bad, feel like a failure, tell myself I'm stupid for eating the "bad"...The "bad" I refer to was a bag of walkers crisps, a bounty bar and a slice of cake last night and the minute I ate I get all those negative feelings and thinking why can't I just stick to it!!!!

I recognise this issue myself but I can't seem to stop feeling like this. For reference, I'm 12st 2lb, 5ft 3in, 35yrs and want to lose maybe 24lb at the most. I don't like exercise (or so my mind tells me) but I WANT to exercise but that motivation is just not there or I think about working out that much that I end up talking myself out of it. I walk approx 11k steps per day (45min morning commute and 30min evening commute), I have a desk job but because of my steps I set my activity level to Lightly Active which gives me 1520 daily calorie goal. I love wine, I have wine Friday and Saturday and will include this in my calorie goal....When I'm focused I am sooo focused but that usually lasts 2-4 days then I eat something that my mind says is bad and I end up eating crap and thinking "I'll start again tomorrow"...I just dont want to be in this position anymore.

I've overloaded my brain/mind that much with research/videos/blogs on Intermittent Fasting, Low Carb, High Fat, how 0% fat stuff is't good for you and we should eat more fats and less carbs and now I feel bad following weightwatchers because they are up for all this 0% fat and low fat foods (they are less points) and when I'm eating 0% fat greek yogurt I'm like "oh god, imagine all the sugar in this now"......Arrrggghhhh!

I just don't know what to do or how to learn to be kind to myself.

I also don't have any medical conditions or anything like that for me to follow a low carb diet as I did before my summer holiday and gained it all back again anyway!

Any advice from people who have been in similar situations would be greatly appreciated.

This is a lifestyle journey and along everyone's path there are rest areas, detours, traffic jams, wrong turns, vehicle issues, delays, and speed bumps. Today is a great day to continue on your journey.

christianabigail28

I could be wrong with my assumptions here but correct me if I’m wrong. You’re probably cutting everything “Junk foods” all at once (cold turkey). If you do this, it’s best to cut one thing at a time. For example, let’s say soda. You can probably try that one first for a couple of weeks. If you think you’re ready adding another one on the list, do it but make sure you’re ready. All in all, it’s less overwhelming/stressful and easier to stick to.

Roxie8611

Hi, I think it’s potentially the mind set. For example I don’t label anything as ‘bad.’ I eat 80/20 so majority of the time I eat well but if I’m out for a meal and I fancy chips then I’ll have it. Took a while to get into but it’s been really helpful not labelling foods. Lost over 4 stone in total now. Good luck 😊

MichelleMcKeeRN

Everyone is unique in what will work for them although I have seen the struggle before!
What works for me:
I only do exercise I want to do! So I actually go to the gym now. I use to force myself to do my workout even if it was miserable. Consiquently, I didn’t work out much. I enjoy lifting, hiking, biking and snowboarding. It has made a world of a difference!
Meal prep helps me make good choices that align with my goals. I only do a few days at a time.
I recently started trying to balance my carbs, protein and fats. I feel a lot better with a 33-33-34 split even though I never hit those numbers exactly. It keeps me out of excess sugar and allows me to have regular salad dressing, 2% milk and cheese.
I also eat more calories (1495) and don’t eat back exercise calories.

snowflake954

Labeling foods "good" and "bad" is sabotage. Food is food. Food is energy. You need enough energy to do what you need or want to do during the day. That's your daily calorie goal. If you don't give yourself enough you suffer and most people "binge" and feel bad and restart the cycle. Don't under eat and don't overeat. Everyone needs to find their sweet spot. He wins who eats the most and still loses. Follow your MFP daily goal, use a digital food scale to weigh and measure everything. See how it goes for 2-3 weeks and then adjust up or down. Good luck and be patient and persistent.

imfornd70

2-3 day clean 1 day eat something bad - hmmm - is thats better than you were doing - give yourself a win and dont be so critical - its takes time to unlearn bad behaviors - stay consistent - you arent going to score a touchdown over night - just keep moving the ball forward and eventually you will find yourself in the end zone - hell I cant resist oreo cookies and never will