Finding Balance

jrrose7

I've been using MFP for a while, but this is my first post. I've recently reached a point where I'm okay with my weight, yet I've recently felt extremely restricted which is causing me to want to binge. For example, yesterday I weighed in at 116 and after a day of eating like crazy I weighed myself this morning and I was 121. I understand a few of those "pounds" are water/salt but its still discouraging. At my lowest this summer I was 114. I'm afraid I'm not netting enough calories so the pounds are just sticking on me. I'm very confused about nutrition obviously and I'm frustrated because food has lately become much more stressful than it should be. I do 90 minutes of cardio six days a week which I know is also not great, but it's worked for me so I just keep doing it. I'm getting tired of counting calories, spending all that time at the gym, and feeling like I can't eat the things I enjoy. As you can see from my diary, I have major cheat days where I shove everything into my face that I don't allow myself to eat normally. My sister even says I would look better if I gained ten pounds because with the weight loss also went my "womanly figure." I feel I'm a a crossroads! I also don't want to be a slave to MFP and feel guilty about not tracking anymore or not knowing how many calories are in something..

Basically, I'm looking for some guidance or advice on how to maintain a healthy balance. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Kelley528

The best suggestion I have is to keep logging your daily intake according to the calories recommended for your activity level/lifestyle. Once you learn how much food you can eat and the portion sizes you should be eating for your 3 main meals a day then you will see how many left over calories you can use to do what you want. Whether that be snacking or drinking alcohol.

After awhile It will become second nature to you. If you intend to keep exercising as much as you are without changing that, then after a while you shouldnt have to rely on counting every calorie and logging every day. it is all about learning to eat properly in order to maintain a healthy balance. If you havent figured out how much food you should be eating and how many calories you can spare on whatever you want you are going to have to keep logging.

I've gotten to the point where I know how many calories are in all the foods I eat, I can guestimate the portion sizes without weighting them when I am out in public, that when I am eating away from home I still manage just fine because I dont over stuff my plate.

Im going on a cruise in a few weeks and a year ago that would have made me nervous with all that free, buffet style food and dessert but I am honestly not worried now. I know what I should eat for breakfast, how much I should put on my plate for lunch and dinner, and how may snacks I can give myself. Im not going to have my food scale or access to the internet to log my calories but I am confident im not going to gain weight. Once you gain the knowledge of what you need to eat to sustain yourself you should get to the point where you dont feel so restricted. I eat sweets 7 days a week ( cake, cupcake, donut, or ice cream at night..chips if I want something salty..wine if im at a restaurant) and I dont gain weight. Once you gain the control then you will manage just fine.

ritchiedrama

you know it's water and salt but it discourages you? makes no sense.

hidbee

It's hard to find that balance. This especially has been a huge struggle of mine all summer. I know that we sometimes focus SO MUCH on that number, and what the number is, and what that number means to us and why we are above and not below that number....we are so defined by that stupid NUMBER we forget in the long run it's not about the number, it's about a healthy mind a body.

I weigh myself in the morning, at night and before and after workouts and I feel so frustrated when it fluctuates even thought I know its usually water weight. Sometimes I feel like it will control my entire day, but then I remember its a NUMBER. You're not alone. I know its hard. Remember why you wanted to change in the first place, look at all you have achieved, and don't let these little numbers bog you down. I know even when I was at my heaviest and NOT weighing myself, I am sure my weight went up and down but I wasn't conscious of it.

You're awesome, you're strong, you're goal oriented and you're determined. Focus on that

jrrose7

It's hard to find that balance. This especially has been a huge struggle of mine all summer. I know that we sometimes focus SO MUCH on that number, and what the number is, and what that number means to us and why we are above and not below that number....we are so defined by that stupid NUMBER we forget in the long run it's not about the number, it's about a healthy mind a body.

I weigh myself in the morning, at night and before and after workouts and I feel so frustrated when it fluctuates even thought I know its usually water weight. Sometimes I feel like it will control my entire day, but then I remember its a NUMBER. You're not alone. I know its hard. Remember why you wanted to change in the first place, look at all you have achieved, and don't let these little numbers bog you down. I know even when I was at my heaviest and NOT weighing myself, I am sure my weight went up and down but I wasn't conscious of it.

You're awesome, you're strong, you're goal oriented and you're determined. Focus on that

Thank you so much for your words! It was so sweet that you took the time to write all that out. And you're absolutely right. It's just a number. We definitely need to put things into perspective sometimes because life is just too
short! You're so strong too

jrrose7

The best suggestion I have is to keep logging your daily intake according to the calories recommended for your activity level/lifestyle. Once you learn how much food you can eat and the portion sizes you should be eating for your 3 main meals a day then you will see how many left over calories you can use to do what you want. Whether that be snacking or drinking alcohol.

After awhile It will become second nature to you. If you intend to keep exercising as much as you are without changing that, then after a while you shouldnt have to rely on counting every calorie and logging every day. it is all about learning to eat properly in order to maintain a healthy balance. If you havent figured out how much food you should be eating and how many calories you can spare on whatever you want you are going to have to keep logging.

I've gotten to the point where I know how many calories are in all the foods I eat, I can guestimate the portion sizes without weighting them when I am out in public, that when I am eating away from home I still manage just fine because I dont over stuff my plate.

Im going on a cruise in a few weeks and a year ago that would have made me nervous with all that free, buffet style food and dessert but I am honestly not worried now. I know what I should eat for breakfast, how much I should put on my plate for lunch and dinner, and how may snacks I can give myself. Im not going to have my food scale or access to the internet to log my calories but I am confident im not going to gain weight. Once you gain the knowledge of what you need to eat to sustain yourself you should get to the point where you dont feel so restricted. I eat sweets 7 days a week ( cake, cupcake, donut, or ice cream at night..chips if I want something salty..wine if im at a restaurant) and I dont gain weight. Once you gain the control then you will manage just fine.

That means so much to me, thank you! I need to get to that point and just trial and error with my body to see what it can and cannot handle. You've been so incredibly helpful and I hope you have an amazing time on your vacation because you deserve it!

nhradeuce

@hidbee and jrrose7 - STOP WEIGHING YOURSELF!

Seriously. The scale is the worst metric to use to measure progress. It can vary wildly through the course of the day and does nothing for telling you your body composition - which is WAY more important than your weight. If you must weigh yourself, do it once a week on the same day at the same time (first thing in the morning is usually good).

Instead, measure yourself and take pics often. Your measurements will give you a real number you can count on - your waist/arms/thighs are not going to vary wildly from day to day. Pics will confirm what the tape measure tells you.

Trust the numbers. Log all your calories and all your exercise and make sure you are making your daily goal. I have been on maintenance for about 6 months and my weight over that time has basically stayed the same. Some weeks the scale tells me I gain a few pounds so weeks I am under, but I am usually right where I want to be. I never panic when the number is different because my clothes still fight right and my measurements are rock steady. If you stress out about the little things, you're going to miss the big picture.

cwolfman13

I've been maintaining for about 5 months...

1) your weight isn't static...nobody weighs exactly XXX Lbs all of the time. On average people can fluctuate a good 3-5 Lbs day to day. You'll have less fluctuation if you eat properly and get your nutrition...eating junk usually means a lot of sodium and often, a lot of carbs...both will cause bloat and water retention. When you have a junky day, you also tend to not get your fruits and veg...this throws off your potassium levels and thus your PH...equals more water retention. When I'm being good and really getting my nutrition on, my fluctuations are pretty small...1-2 Lbs either way, day to day. But if I go to the ball game and chow down on some hot dogs, popcorn, pizza, etc...I'm usually up a good 5 Lbs for the next coupld of days until I can release that water.

2) your overall diet shouldn't be radically different at maintenance than it was while you were losing. This is one of the biggest issues I see. People do a lot of talking about "lifestyle"...but as soon as they go to maintenance, their "Good Livin" all goes into the ****ter and they feel like they can just eat junk or whatever because they're not actively trying to lose. Whether at maintenance or losing you should have a balanced diet that is focused on proper nutrition...getting your protein and healthy fats as well as your vitamins and minerals from your food. Enjoy some junk now and then, but don't let it be a routine part of your diet.

3) focus on health and fitness and not the always fluctuating scale number. Set independent fitness goals and set out to achieve those goals.

4) this kinda goes along with 3...but remain consistent in your workouts. Most people do not set independent fitness goals for themselves...their "fitness" goals are really all wrapped up in their weight loss goals...so when they go to maintenance they stop working out because they equate exercise to weight loss desires. Maintaining a consistent fitness regimen is extremely important for maintenance...even more so than losing IMHO. Even if you over indulge occasionally...if you're working out regularly, your body tends to find something besides fat storage to do with that energy.

5) maintenance is really easy when your focus is on proper nutrition and overall health and well being...it just kind of takes care of itself when you're doing everything right.

cwolfman13

double post

gpizzy

Because I was starting to let the scale rule my choices I have decided not to weigh myself for a month. I will also say I used to weigh myself several times per day. At least once in the morning and throughout the day, then again at night. I realized that I was making food choices dependent upon what the scale said and not what I felt. Example if I was a lower weight at night, maybe I would have a little extra dessert, or I wouldn't workout, or whatever. Point being, the scale ruled my choices instead of a desire to live a happy and healthy life. In the past 3 weeks I have made choices based on wanting to be healthy and based on wanting to make good decisions. I was camping the past 4 days and while my diet wasn't as clean as it would have been at home, I don't feel bad for my choices. I recognize that if I weighed myself before I left vs when I got home the scale would be higher. However, I enjoyed myself, I knew that it was a vacay and now I'm back on track.

I vote, put the scale away. Make healthy choices majority of the time and keep working out. If you're still unsure of calories keep logging but don't let those numbers dictate your choices either. If you find you usually gravitate to unhealthy foods, you need to work on changing how you think. Self talk is great, positive quotes etc.

sobriquet84

i thinkthe balance you first need to find is in your head. start loving your body more, and only then will the calories in/calories out balance you're looking for be possible. maybe try talking to someone. and i'm not trying to sound condescending, because i've been there.

dnamouse

Another vote for putting the scale away. I weigh myself probably twice a month, if that, now. I can tell where I'm at by my clothes - they still fit lol The scale goes up a little and goes down a little, but it generally remains around the same, it's all good.

It's just a number. At the start I set my little mini goals and worked my way through them slowly. Now my focus is solely on health and fitness - muscle definition and building my core strength (that was so lovingly destroyed by pregnancies lol).

I still log during the week, but if I miss a meal, it's not a big deal. I don't log on weekends - they are family days and outings that generally revolve around food and celebrations, and I'm definitely gonna have that cake. But just a small slice, not a big one like I used to

It's a process, you'll find your balance eventually (but stop worrying about the number )

hidbee

all of you are so totally right. The scale has become, without a doubt, my crutch.

I think the biggest balance for me has been my altering my perception of myself. You go from a person who is overweight to this healthy person in a smaller body....its hard not to keep thinking like that size 14 person, you know? I take photos, I know my BMI, I fit in smaller clothes,but I feel like I need to VALIDATE myself with the number.

I hit a major plateau this summer, and it has been super frustrating. I am not sure how many public radio listeners are out here on MFP, but about 3 weeks ago there was this really interesting episode on Morning Edition about hitting that wall in diets....it really resonated with me, and since then, I have been pulling myself out of this black hole of a diet I feel I have fallen in and started to stop obsessing about this little number and allowing this number to rule my life. I am the healthiest and happiest I have been in my life EVER and I just need to focus on that. We all need to focus on that.

jrrose7

I can't thank you all enough for your positive words and encouragement. The scale does not and should not define me, but unfortunately it's the easiest indicator I have. I heard some great advice where you have to "unlearn" what you think you know and become educated on what is right. This is a lifestyle change and just like in life there are ups and downs. We need to stop complicating things and focus on what we have. Positive affirmations can be very beneficial!